UCAS utterly unfair

[Iwasneveragoddess]

My third child is filling out his UCAS form and as happened with his sister he has to put the highest earner in the household on the form, which will affect his loan, this isn’t me it’s my DH who is not father to any of my children.

He is still paying maintenance for his own children and is not financially responsible for mine, how on earth is this fair?

Or why don't you go start your own thread where you can demand answers to all the questions you seem to want people to answer?

Don't forget to use lots of "right" and "well" and "see?" when adopting your patronising and hectoring tone! It makes people love you so much. That's sarcasm, see?

In the 90s. Everyone I studied with worked. I saved up thousands before university by working during the year before I went to uni. Yes, whilst studying for my A levels too. I worked non stop throughout university and every break.

I don't know what job can earn you thousands in one year whilst also studying for your A-levels. Regardless things were very different in the 90s compared with now with regard to jobs. In my area there would be no chance of earning thousands while at school doing A-levels.

Renting rooms in shared households or in halls, like most students did for decades, don't cost £8000. Where are you getting this figure from?

They can cost nearly that many places actually. I found this from when my DD was looking into universities. Rooms are considerably more expensive than were in the 90s leave me.

Oh, so most students do work you're now saying? Right, so if most of them are working, let's revist that calculator you provided an add in their earnings. How many hours per year is the average student working?

Why would there be any need to revisit the calculator? I said most do work but that doesn't mean they don't need a loan. By all means revisit the calculator and do your own calculations if you want to. I'd be interested to see what you come up with.

Depends on the course whether and how much they can work. DS1 travels daily but that could be up to an hour each way and he has a lot of contact time (can be up to 30 hours plus travel).

DS2 is living away, he has less contact time but the halls aren't in town and he's reliant on not great public transport and local jobs aren't that easy to get. If he works weekends then that would mean that we would never see him at all and he has not long turned 18. Some of his friends are still 17 and this also limits the jobs they can get. He'll have more opportunity next year when he'll hopefully be living closer to town.

We have been putting money away for this since they were babies though so that is helping to fund the extra money they need. APpreciate not everyone is lucky to be in the same position. DS1 is on year 2 of 5 and DS2 is on year 1 of 4.

@Chloedecker You are a teacher I assume or are your points hearsay?
The £30K for teachers starts next year. So why quibble over 9 months FFS!

Unless you are a teacher you don't know what you are talking about. I have family and friends in the profession, one of whom is Head of a large mixed comp.

Oh goodness this went off track

I haven’t answered a lot of the quest because they are absolutely irrelevant to my original point (and are just bit nosey).

There are currently approx 150,000 serving forces personnel in the UK alone, whom have been lumped into one box “those type of people”

The speculation over the state of my marriage is disappointing tbh, most serving personnel struggle to have a relationship with their own children esp after martial separation never mind forging a close relationship with their teenage step children in between deployments.

DS is happy to get a job or a transfer from his current job and his father has agreed to continue to support him too.

*questions

Unless you are a teacher you don't know what you are talking about.

I am and I do.

DS is happy to get a job or a transfer from his current job and his father has agreed to continue to support him too.

So 17 pages of comments and advice are really wasted. because only yesterday this was all about how his dad would simply not, ever, support him.

How did you manage to make him change his mind?

So 17 pages of comments and advice are really wasted. because only yesterday this was all about how his dad would simply not, ever, support him

Where did I say that exactly?

I said I didn’t think he would and I didn’t want to ask as he is splitting with his current wife.

So I changed my mind and asked him.

You, however, are a GF.

And it’s not really wasted is it?

Pretty sure lots of people found out things they didn’t know and much of the 17 pages was an argument which had nothing to do with this topic anyway

I thought that his father paid £190 a month and that the OP wasn't sure if that would continue.

Small break while JinglingHellsBells trawls back through 17 pages of 25 posts to prove me wrong

I thought that his father paid £190 a month and that the OP wasn't sure if that would continue

Correct.

I was paying attention! That's really good news. And it's definitely been an interesting thread.

Basically then, people need to take responsibility for their children whether they live with them or not, and they choose to live with other children they need to factor responsibility for them in too.

I'm glad your ds' dad has stepped up - just remember that when you next decide you don't want to even ask him if he wants to be responsible for his own children.

I also think that if your new dh were a decent man, he would have no problem paying towards your children either.

My DH pays towards a house he rarely lives in and food he doesn’t eat, electricity and gas he doesn’t use.

My heart bleeds for him

Can't quite understand how you managed to support your children when single, but now there is only you and one son in the house ( so it appears- don't think you've ever answered how many of your children are at home), you need your DH's income to support you - right down to food.

He won't be paying out any more than if he was at home with you. All the time he is away , he is eating free, and having his accommodation covered.

All the time he is away , he is eating free, and having his accommodation covered

Clearly have very little knowledge of military life.

Why don’t you suggest your son goes down the apprenticeship route? He would get paid while training?

I also note that you called your maintenance paltry yet he’s only paying £15 less a week than your dh

My DH pays £550 a month, my DS father pays £190.

Maintenance doesn’t multiply by number of children.

My DH pays towards a house he rarely lives in and food he doesn’t eat, electricity and gas he doesn’t use

You have a really odd idea of marriage and finances!

have you looked at degree apprenticeships?

I thought your dh was paying for 2 children compared to ds father paying for 1? Sorry if I’ve got that wrong

I think it’s really odd this absolute expectation that my OH would be prepared to fund my son through Uni.

We both earn money and we have a joint bank account which all our bills are paid out of, including his maintenance. He then pays for accommodation and food at work.

How my finances are run within my marriage are irrelevant.

Well, yeah, I guess hence starting the thread. All very weird. Anyway, happy ending.