Things you don't like about Christmas

[lorettalemon]

I know lots of other people must find it a stressful time - family dramas, having to see in-laws if you don't like them, getting food in, feeling obliged to go to things, the extra expense. If you don't like Christmas what are the things that bother you/you dread?

The assumption from people that others have plenty of time off work, and the lack of compromise for those of us who have little or no time off.

Family who are happy to enjoy our hospitality but rarely lift a finger to help. They may have a cursory go at washing up but that's it- whilst I'm running about and not having time to spend with my own DC.

All the gift buying, for people who already have everything they need. Relatives all asking me what to buy for others when I really don't have any more ideas than they do. Other relatives asking for money towards something they've already bought that is incredibly expensive- e.g. we've bought Dniece a new coat, it was £350 so she'd love some money towards it.....

Grrrrrr......

Celebrating Yule is still religious/ superstition though. I don't believe in those things so why bother? I respect that so many people are bust celebrating their faith etc. But I'm not. Trying to tell me I should celebrate is to me just imposing your faith on me.

FreedomfromPE No one is telling you to do anything.

Christmas may be "religious/superstition", but it is also a secular celebration. Customs and traditions evolve. Like celebrating wedding ceremonies, buying chocolate eggs at easter- even celebrating birthdays is something many people in societies like to do.

A secular christmas is just as meaningful as a christian one.

It's not secular. Sorry. You're welcome to your traditions. And yes. Up thread and out in real life there's a lot of should take part in Christmas jumper day; buy gifts; send cards; do it for the kids. I get that some people are brought up to follow religious festivals evenue though their family don't do church etc. But I was brought up in a faith household and was told I wouldn't be welcome at Christmas in an attempt to coerce me back. So I spent a few years in my room/ walking while they did presents/ church meAl. Then I got my own place. Now I don't do it. To some it's harmless fun. To me it is religious coercion

I've never done jumpers, trees, decorations etc.
I go to the bank, take some money out, divide into separate envelopes, give to each of the kids.
Sorted.
As I said up thread, I've never hosted nor accepted invites to go to someone else.
The only different food I buy is a goose for my Xmas lunch.
I don't understand why people frazzle themselves for what is effectively one day.
The buying of gifts for.everyone and anyone, why? What's that all about?
Let's give each other a gift that we neither want nor need.
Cards? You give me one and I will give you one with basically the same message in it, why not just say merry Xmas?
I don't get it.

I'm not Christian, neither is DH, and we have no family in this country - so actually for me it's a rather nice day/week doing the little traditions we've made up for ourselves.

Having said that...
The horrible cycle of spendspendspend+foodfoodfood, followed by debt + diet. Horrible to see every year in its grim inevitability.

Tat. Xmas jumper day (DD's goes to nursery with a hugely deprived intake - what the fuck were they thinking asking for 2 year olds to come in special jumpers?), gifts bought for the sake of it/with no thought to the recipient, the MN threads on the 25th/Boxing Day about gift-related drama.

The Next Boxing Day sale, and others. It's like we've been primed to consume and spend, short break on the 25th, spend some more. Obviously anyone who wants to partake, well, it's their money and their time, but I dislike it.

How the train network somehow conspires to leave a significant proportion of the country stuck outside Bicester for several hours every year.

The way it accentuates family drama.

Having said that, every year we walk up to the church at the top of our road, watch the crib service with friends, sing carols, and then walk back home admiring the trees and lights up along the road, before ordering a Chinese takeaway. And it's one of my favourite afternoons of the year.

It's not secular. Sorry.

It is though. Sorry.

Over commercialism
That it starts in September, such a long build up.
Crowds in shops, idiot drivers.
The pressure to buy lots of presents.
It also brings home even more than usual that I have failed in life.

One thing I've never quite understood is people queuing in the middle of the night for the Next sale on Boxing Day - can it really be that good?!!

I find all the consumerism and fake happy clappy families in adverts quite nauseating and it must make a lot of people who don't have a good family situation feel very lonely and sad at this time of year.

I also find the overindulgence- spend, eat, spend, eat, which then turns into debt, diet, a newfound and brief interest in the gym a bit wearing. People overdo it in December then go completely off the radar and say they're broke and don't want to meet up in January.

The expense is a nightmare for a lot of people as well - feeling pressured to buy lots of food/drink/presents at full price, then feeling compelled to spend a load of money in the sales afterwards, then paying it off for the next year

All of it

I don’t like the waste so this year I have hugely cut back. I’m not buying tat like Christmas crackers, DH said we’ll make our own. I’m using brown paper instead of non-recyclable wrapping paper too. Also have bought a lot less for the DC than usual because they never really appreciate it all when they have hundreds of presents, it’s really not worth it.

I do get frazzled and worry it won’t all be ‘perfect’ but it’s silly, it always works out fine in the end.

I’m very lucky in that I don’t celebrate Christmas so don’t need to do the crap that everyone else is doing.

However, we still love the time off, lovely food, family time.

I honestly don’t miss the tree and the tat and the generic presents I will never use.

To me it is religious coercion

It's not coercion unless you are being forced to do it, which, as an adult, isn't really the case.

I love Christmas (and am a staunch atheist). The only thing I don't like about it is the way it is dragged out over a couple of months, which dilutes it a bit imo.

Other than that, I feel no pressure and no anxiety or annoyance about any aspect of Christmas. I enjoy every bit of it (though I admit it helps that I've never cooked the Christmas dinner ).

I love Christmas but hate the fact that I have to spend hundreds of pounds on other people and then spend the next few months paying off the credit card that I've had to rack up for it
We've cut back but there's only so much we can cut back and I resent having to get in to debt for it. I've never felt the pinch so much as I have this year.

Having no time to sort all my shit out - can't do any shopping till payday of December (I don't have money to put aside earlier)

Juggling Christmas stuff with full time work stuff.

Such a relief when 24th arrives!!

I love Christmas and enjoy getting a head start on the prep and organisation in the months before. HOWEVER every year it still always feels like December is super busy and I end up with no free time when it's the time of the year that I'm exhausted and this year, have a lingering cold.

I do say no to a lot of stuff and we are not hosting a huge family Christmas or going mad with present buying so it's really hard to see where I can cut obligations back. I'm determined to do it next year. Again.

It doesn't help that most years we go see the in-laws the weekend closest to Christmas. Neither of us particularly enjoy this and even moreso this year as we've both been ill and just fancy breaking up from work on Friday and then hibernating!

Spending money on pointless crap yet at Christmas you’re made to feel like a Scrooge if you don’t do that! I am quite frugal all year round so I secretly despise spending so much (big family) on people only to get things I wouldn’t choose for myself back.

Me and my friends have decided to stop buying each other gifts and instead to spend the money on all going for a nice meal somewhere and then getting ratarsed. Absolutely fine by me!

However I do love the work parties, general festive buzz around the office, meeting up with people we don’t see often and the food!

I hate taking the trees down. That's about it. Plus I'm getting as fat as butter already.

I'm so sorry about your DS @crazyladee

Everything: grim weather, sickness, feeling the whole thing (presents, food) on my shoulders. Would escape the whole goddamn thing if I could and go somewhere hot....

Honestly? The requirement to take almost 2 weeks of my annual leave at the same time as my mother, therefore sealing her expectations that she can come to stay at my house for the whole two fucking weeks. The endless phonecalls about what time should she be ready for me to pick her up, when am I picking up the food, who will drive her home, why haven’t I invited my diabolical cousin, am I 100% sure that this Christmas isn’t the one that I want to burn my fathers house down? (Acrimonious divorce, has to bring it up at all opportunities about how deeply disappointing it is that I don’t want to take up vivisection etc etc).

Yes, I’m sure someone will be along soon to tell me how they wish they still had their Mum here for Xmas, and for that I am truly sorry.... but I wouldn’t wish two weeks of my Mother coming to stay on Saddam Hussain.

She’s fine in small doses. She’s never happy with say, Christmas Eve to Boxing Day, she’s never happy with anything. We could have a lovely Christmas together but she’ll spoil it being in a mood that she can’t stay precisely as long as she wants.

I’ve had a truly shit year with my health and I’m on my last nerve, so how this Christmas could go is anyone’s guess!

I hate that piles of absolute rubbish my MIL buys my kids every year. She doesn’t have a lot of money and it would seem she’d rather buy 20 things for £1 than 1 thing for £20 and most of it ends up just getting thrown out or sent to charity.

Money
Mess of wrapping paper etc in the morning
My husband getting drunk, he is a nice drunk but he gets annoying
My dogs getting excited because there are lots of people here
The busy shops
Remembering the loss of my children's father
The expectation of it being an amazing day
Worst of all is that it is over so quickly and January is on the way and then I get the blues.

@Crazyladee . So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what that feels like.

I think that puts people's moans about Christmas songs into perspective

Just the annual repetition
Same Christmas songs
Same tat wheeled out in the shops
Same repeat TV programmes
All the sameness

My old village in Italy does a fab Christian/Pagan mash up on Christmas eve. Everyone goes to midnight mass apart from the people in charge of the giant bonfire...then everyone comes out of midnight mass and people in hoods come out with flaming torches and little bagpipes and there is Celtic music (there were Celts in N Italy) and lights the giant (about 6m tall) bonfire...then everyone drinks mulled wine/grappa and eats panettone. I love that there has probably been a mid winter bonfire going for at least a 1000 years.

I'm Catholic and I like the church stuff as well as the midwinter pagan/celtic/German stuff, all the spiritual stuff really and spending time with family and eating nice food.
I don't like the consumarism and all the elf stuff/north pole breakfasts etc...so I just dont do it.