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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no.

48 replies

Rosebel · 16/12/2019 11:57

My SIL asked if we could look after her children next Saturday, didn't really want to (only because I know they'll be majorly over excited) but said I would. Today she text and said could she drop them off Friday night. She said it would be easier for her (obviously) as then she could get on Saturday morning. I totally see where she's coming from but I don't want them overnight. They don't sleep well and I am not feeling too good anyway.
Would I be unreasonable to say no to them staying overnight?

OP posts:
mamansnet · 16/12/2019 12:01

YANBU. Just use the MN classic, 'Sorry, that doesn't work for me. But you can drop them off a bit earlier on Saturday if that helps."

She probably just wants a night out!

NearlyGranny · 16/12/2019 12:02

Sounds a bit cheeky to make an incremental request like that! Has she done it before? What is she going to be doing that she needs her DC out of the way?

Unless it's a house move, funeral or planned CS I'd be saying no to the overnight bit.

Overdueanamechange · 16/12/2019 12:02

You should have said no in the first place! Just tell her to drop them with you on Saturday, you are already doing her a big favour.

Oysterbabe · 16/12/2019 12:02

Sorry I can't do Friday. See you on Saturday.

pinkyredrose · 16/12/2019 12:05

Why did you agree to Saturday in the first place if you didn't want to, do you have problems standing up for yourself?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/12/2019 12:21

Just say 'No, sorry.' You don't need to justify it at all.

Spacebowlisback · 16/12/2019 12:22

That’s a far bigger undertaking! (And she knows it, otherwise she wouldn’t need to ask)

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 16/12/2019 12:24

If it’s a once off I wouldn’t mind
Do you have children?

AryaStarkWolf · 16/12/2019 12:26

Just say no sorry i can't and leave it at that.

Crunchymum · 16/12/2019 12:28

Just reply and say you can't do Friday? I don't get the issue?

FruitcakeOfHate · 16/12/2019 12:33

Just tell her you can't do Friday. Simple. 'Sorry, can only do the Saturday.'

Original poster
Rosebel · 16/12/2019 12:34

Yeah have children but a lot older as in mine are 11 and 13 and hers are 6 and 4. Should have said no really but in my husband's family if you say no to his sister the rest of the family get involved and you're made out to be horrible and unreasonable. I'm not sure what she's doing (Christmas shopping maybe?) but I don't see why we need to have them Friday night. I said she can drop them off in their night stuff if she wants and I'll get them dressed but she said are you sure you can't have them overnight.

OP posts:
myfuckingfreezer · 16/12/2019 12:39

Doesn't make sense though - if she wanted them looking after Saturday, why is she now saying friday night and will pick them up early saturday morning? What has happened to her saturday plans?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/12/2019 12:40

she said are you sure you can't have them overnight

Just say "I'm sure thanks."

fishonabicycle · 16/12/2019 12:40

Just no.

Original poster
Rosebel · 16/12/2019 12:43

She doesn't want to pick them up Saturday morning. She wants us to have them Friday night and Saturday until about 5.

OP posts:
FruitcakeOfHate · 16/12/2019 12:44

I said she can drop them off in their night stuff if she wants and I'll get them dressed but she said are you sure you can't have them overnight.

Then you say, 'Yes, I'm sure. You bring them over on Saturday.' Your DH needs to tell his family where to go with their comments. It's not your responsibility to do FA for his sister and her kids.

Jeezoh · 16/12/2019 12:45

“Yes I’m sure I can’t have then on Friday, looking forward to seeing them on Saturday though :-) “

fedup21 · 16/12/2019 12:46

I'm not sure what she's doing

She’s asked you to have both her kids all day Saturday and not even given a reason why?

I’d have said no, but now you’ve agreed-definitely say you can’t do Friday night. Say you’re out.

rritchie44 · 16/12/2019 12:47

Stick to your guns. You don't want to set a precedent!

FizzyIce · 16/12/2019 12:49

I never look after other people’s kids just because I don’t want to, I’m not a kid person apart from my own and don’t expect others to watch mine so a simple “sorry, I won’t be able to do that” usually works

Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 16/12/2019 12:49

“Yes I’m sure” as others have said. Good that it’s a Saturday as your DH can do the bulk of it.

Winterdaysarehere · 16/12/2019 12:52

Surely forward the messages to dh and tell him you would help but you have plans...? He is welcome to have them..

AryaStarkWolf · 16/12/2019 12:53

Oh she's a cheeky fucker, also it's your DH sister, why is she on to you about it?

RuggerHug · 16/12/2019 12:54

'Very sure, I'm/we're out Fri night anyway' just in case she turns up anyway.