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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no.

48 replies

Rosebel · 16/12/2019 11:57

My SIL asked if we could look after her children next Saturday, didn't really want to (only because I know they'll be majorly over excited) but said I would. Today she text and said could she drop them off Friday night. She said it would be easier for her (obviously) as then she could get on Saturday morning. I totally see where she's coming from but I don't want them overnight. They don't sleep well and I am not feeling too good anyway.
Would I be unreasonable to say no to them staying overnight?

OP posts:
Straycatstrut · 16/12/2019 13:14

I'd say I was busy Friday night (busy resting/recovering is still busy!) She sounds like she wants a night out and then Saturday free. Loads of hassle for you. Don't do it unless she's done you a lot of favours recently, if she has then you owe her.

fedup21 · 16/12/2019 13:17

Does your DH support you? Or his sister?

Tombliwho · 16/12/2019 13:19

CF claxon!!!

Thestrangestthing · 16/12/2019 13:20

Sounds like my dp and his family. Tell her no. I don't get requests for babysitting anymore, it's great!

gamerchick · 16/12/2019 13:27

Tell her no and that if it's that important then maybe she needs to find someone willing to do the overnight and day.

Come on OP, stand up for yourself.

onalongsabbatical · 16/12/2019 13:36

Actually OP I think you're coming down with flu symptoms and have to cancel - she wouldn't want to be exposed to flu just before xmas, right?

RachelEllenR · 16/12/2019 13:39

Did she do this sort of thing for you when yours were little? If she never did and won't have yours overnight now then I'd say no - but I do have my nieces and nephews for the night so their parents can go out but it is reciprocated.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 16/12/2019 13:41

I would be tempted to say no sorry and actually I don't feel too well so it's probably best if they don't some Saturday either!

Pfefferkuchen · 16/12/2019 13:46

She’s asked you to have both her kids all day Saturday and not even given a reason why?

why should she?
It's family, you ask - if it's not convenient, you say no. You don't need to twist yourself into ridiculous lies.

End of story.
Don't you ask others to look after your own kids OP? It's useful to have someone when you need help. You don't have to do anything this weekend at all, but your SIL wasn't wrong to ask.

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/12/2019 14:00

if you say no to his sister the rest of the family get involved and you're made out to be horrible and unreasonable

Why is she asking you and not them? If they’re so sure she’s right to get free childcare whenever she feels like it they’ll accommodate her.

Morgan12 · 16/12/2019 14:12

Why not just do it one night? It doesn't sound like you have them overnight alot?

AryaStarkWolf · 16/12/2019 14:13

Why not just do it one night? It doesn't sound like you have them overnight alot?

Because she doesn't want to?

Drum2018 · 16/12/2019 14:21

@Morgan12 why should she? She doesn't want to so that's enough reason to say no.

@Rosebel just text her back saying Friday night is not possible. Don't apologise and don't give excuses. She's a CF. And as for family thinking you are unreasonable for not jumping to attention when they want something - let them fuck right off. What do you care what they think?

FruitcakeOfHate · 16/12/2019 14:22

Why does anyone have to have someone else's kids overnight, much less 'a lot'?

Let me guess, Rose, your H is one of those who doesn't like to stand up his family but expects you to provide childcare whilst he fucks off to the pub or to the football or to do 'hobby'?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/12/2019 14:22

Did she have your children a lot when they were younger?

Ellisandra · 16/12/2019 14:27

Where’s the AIBU?

Honestly do not see why you’re posting. Yo don’t want to do it, don’t do it.

I’d understand if you were posting in Chat to offload, or in Relationships for advice on how to manage the expected fall or. Or perhaps how to manage your husband’s family talking to you about babysitting and not him.

But there’s no “Unreasonable” to ask about here. You’re not obligated to have them.

Pfefferkuchen · 16/12/2019 14:43

Why does anyone have to have someone else's kids overnight, much less 'a lot'?

not have to, but in the real world, most people do.
Kids love a sleepover, it helps out the parents, nothing wrong with it. Most of us would struggle to work without help from friends and family, and "swapping" the kids around.

When it's not convenient for any reason, don't do it.

charm8ed · 16/12/2019 14:51

‘Sorry I can’t do Friday but Saturday is ok’
Or
‘Sorry I’m busy this weekend’

Winterdaysarehere · 16/12/2019 14:58

Sorry I can't do Fri but if the dc are wanting a sleepover I can drop ours off on Saturday after 5pm...

SkySmiler · 16/12/2019 15:33

Total cheeky fuckery... So she essentially wants a night off, a lie in AND the day to herself!

Pfefferkuchen · 16/12/2019 15:59

So she essentially wants a night off, a lie in AND the day to herself!
and that's being a CF because...? Confused

you sound jealous.

Morgan12 · 16/12/2019 17:30

Awk I know she doesn't want to but family should help each other out once in a while if they are able to. It doesn't sound like SIL asks this alot.

If it were me I'd do it and I know I've got family who would return the favour.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/12/2019 17:46

but family should help if SIL has never taken OPs kids overnight I don’t blame OP for not wanting to take on the LOs, especially with hers being older

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