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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bag up everything and take to the tip

36 replies

breastfeeding · 16/12/2019 10:17

My house is a mess. Cluttered. Too much stuff

I’ve been desperately de cluttering and had a cleaner but I haven’t had enough time and the cleaner although a lovely person is slow and ineffective and just unfortunately isn’t doing a very good job even the front room which is the only tidy room she leave it in thick dust ??

So I stressed and crying as need it tidy. Dh has increased his work hours and I’m tired. Hard to get anything done with toddler around so I’m considering getting my him bags and just throwing away everything unless it is something hugely important as I can’t cope and am any sit there sorting bags for charity shop etc
It’s just a total mess and it’s actually making me ill I know I could sit ds in front of CBeebies and get it done

OP posts:
venusandmars · 16/12/2019 10:34

I was on a decluttering website and one of their bits of advice was to do exactly what you're suggesting - do it quickly, put it in bags and throw it away.

In an ideal world we would all have the time, space and energy to sort our stuff - what to keep, what to sell, what to donate, what to throw away. However, if you're in a state of overwhelm then that is not a realistic strategy. There are too many small decisions to make, there are too many other tasks created (washing / cleaning items before they are sold or donated) and people often end up with bags of stuff still waiting to be sorted. Which doesn't remove the clutter from your life or your headspace.

Once it's gone, the real key is to stop new 'stuff' coming into your house, that's the time for an efficient sell / donate / throw approach.

I recently received a bag of trinkets jewellery from a deceased 2nd cousin. There was one item I kept and the rest went to a charity shop - within 2 days of being given it. In my previous cluttered life the bag would have been put with everything else in my house and languished there for years.

MyOwnSummer · 16/12/2019 10:35

Be kind to yourself, it sounds hard.

If you want to grab bags, chuck stuff in them and get rid - go for it. You think you might feel a lot better with less clutter, so do it. Too much stuff everywhere can be overwhelming.

If what you've written about your cleaner is accurate, you might want to look at whether she's the right person for the job.

Original poster
breastfeeding · 16/12/2019 10:40

She’s lovely and trustworthy but the fact that the only tidy room doesn’t get dusted etc makes me think the problem isn’t my hoarding as I kept thinking no it’s me not her but I think it’s both of us

OP posts:
Decidewhattobeandgobeit · 16/12/2019 10:40

Agree with the sentiment but don’t take to tip take to charity shop

Original poster
breastfeeding · 16/12/2019 10:42

The charity shops round here often decline stuff so it’s tricky or they want to check the bags while you wait and I don’t have time
I might call a couple and see will they just accept of I drop and go Or it’ll have to be the tip

OP posts:
Original poster
breastfeeding · 16/12/2019 10:44

I just feel anxiety with Xmas coming and even though we haven’t got the dc much it’s still more stuff and the bins will be full of paper etc so if I can clear some stuff now it will be better but I’m just So overwhelmed

OP posts:
Winealot · 16/12/2019 10:48

Have you got a recycling centre near you - we have one locally that has a large bin for books, one for clothes, shoes and textiles.
It’s much easier to put everything in there than try to drop stuff at charity shops etc and it makes me feel better than I haven’t dumped it all my wheelie bin!
Sometimes they have them at large supermarkets in the car park

1300cakes · 16/12/2019 10:52

Do it OP. So often people kids themselves that their stuff is going to a great home and helping charities, when it's actually just rubbish a charity shop will have to pay to dump. You are just cutting out the muddle man.

Original poster
breastfeeding · 16/12/2019 10:52

I’m not sure I will look it up and check

OP posts:
Original poster
breastfeeding · 16/12/2019 10:53

I’m literally just sitting here drinking my tea feeling like an idiot tearful and wondering which room to start in

OP posts:
Teagoanngoanngoann · 16/12/2019 11:21

Do it do it do it.....I used to tell my children if they didnt donate stuff they didnt play with every November then Santa might not come because he would think they had too many toys. Last week my DH came home and took a sledge hammer to my lovely walk in wardrobe which was stuffed to bursting. Hes renovating our room. He gave me 3 hours notice to clear it as he had managed to get plumber n electrician to come over to deal with services. Time restraints make you ruthless. We got rid of 16 bin bags of clothes etc. All went to clothes bank. I honestly havent missed a thing and can now actually find stuff i do use. If you havent used it in the last 6-12 months u probably dont need it. Set a timer of 1 hour. Do as much as you can in that time. Get it into bags and get rid asap. You will feel much better. I totally get the anxiety thing. You WILL feel better. (Find a new cleaner) Hope u have a lovely Christmas x

Streamside · 16/12/2019 11:23

I'm doing exactly the same thing at present. It's really difficult and it took many years to get everything there so it's the same in reverse. What has worked for me is spending at least half an hour on decluttering and that may only take me through one drawer but it makes a difference. Sorting out my kitchen has been crucial and it really has been the hub of the whole house for me. Be gentle with yourself.

Whattodoabout · 16/12/2019 11:25

Find a new cleaner if the one you currently employ is ineffective.

Just be ruthless and bag everything you no longer need up. Either take to charity or the tip.

Thelnebriati · 16/12/2019 11:27

Grab a bin liner and start at the front door so that next time you walk in the house you aren't walking into a tip. Do all of the hallways.
2 do the bathroom as its usually pretty easy.
3 do the kitchen because you use it every day.
4 do your bedroom so you have somewhere calm to sleep.
5 do the living room so you have somewhere to sit down and relax.

Does that help?

Emeraldshamrock · 16/12/2019 11:29

You'll get there. Is there anyone to help if your not precious about most of the stuff.
Sell old DVDs CDs they create more mess.
Don't chuck DC clothes either.
Start one room at a time.
In saying all this in my home there is washing to be put away everywhere upstairs at the minute, the bathroom is manky, beds need changing, it is been a busy week. I'll crack on if you do. Smile

inwood · 16/12/2019 11:33

Every three months or so I go around our house with bin bags, I love it! Clutter is a pain in the arse.

Tellmeagain · 16/12/2019 11:36

That sounds hard. I've had experience of that in my family so feel for you. Why don't you start with the room that you most want to enjoy spending time in and would make your life easier to have decluttered - perhaps your bedroom?

Sparklybaublefest · 16/12/2019 11:38

i understand, everything has to be recycle, but in my case, it just stays in the house!
thank goodness for textiles bins

ActualHornist · 16/12/2019 11:39

Oh you poor thing you sound completely overwhelmed.

Have your cup of tea and then set a timer. 15 mins per room. Take your bin bags, have one for rubbish and one for ‘other’. Anything that needs to stay in the room pile up in the middle of the floor. You could have two for ‘other’ actually - have one for stuff to go to other rooms and stuff to put away, eventually to be donated/recycled.

Don’t do it all at once. Do 15 mins per room and then move on. I often find that doing one room spurs me on to do more, so then I might do all the bedrooms then go back to the first to finish it.

Store your bags of stuff in the loft, under the stairs, anywhere you might have space. If you don’t have space (we don’t) then just pile it up somewhere out of the way (ours in in our bedroom). If you haven’t opened them by maybe February then you can probably just donate it or recycle it.

Also I agree you need to get rid of your cleaner. They’re supposed to actually clean not give you extra stress!

lexiepuppy · 16/12/2019 11:42

Find out where your nearest recycling bit is, usually at big Tescos or Sainsbury's car parks.
Then pack up your car with black bags and recycle them.

Good luck.Flowers

Oliversmumsarmy · 16/12/2019 11:47

I always start at the top of the house and work my way down and through the house with a bin bag for rubbish and one for recycling

Then I do the same for laundry

Then I look at if anything left out can go to a charity shop or can be sold

Then once or twice per year I go through a cupboard/drawer each day and get rid of anything not used.

Although as fast as I get rid there are 3 other adults bringing stuff in.

Oliversmumsarmy · 16/12/2019 11:47

I would also change the cleaner if she isn’t actually cleaning

DontCallMeShitley · 16/12/2019 11:49

Offer stuff on Freecycle or Freegle if you can't charity shop it.

Wendyasbury · 16/12/2019 11:51

Chuck it all! You will feel so much better

belay · 16/12/2019 11:52

Let the cleaner go. Not helping you