Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Planning the Christmas holidays - nice idea or OTT?

63 replies

rattusrattus20 · 16/12/2019 10:15

What would you think if you rec'd the following in a family group Whatsapp?

Sat 21st: we arrive late afternoon. Watch [name of local band] ([member of family Z] babysitting, drive and leave my car, taxi home)

Sun 22nd collect car, carvery @ [pub Y] at 12.30 ([family Z] x4, [family A] x 5, [grandparents]), Santa @ [place], 3.30 ([names of three kids]), Waitrose booked for 4pm ([grandparent])

Mon 23rd [day out] (small picnic) and pop into [great] Grandma

Thurs 24th Nativity @ [village name] c4pm. [friend B] gig @ [village name] pub from 7.30pm

Christmas day [family A] come over at 4pm ish

Boxing day afternoon walk at [place C] (weather permitting), late lunch at [family A]'s and we leave for [home] around 5pm

Shout if this doesn't work. I will book lunch, santa, cabs etc and let me know what I can do to help re food.

OP posts:

Stickybeaksid · 16/12/2019 20:14

I can’t deal with this level of micro management. What if I want to chill out and do nothing for a few hours. Will the planner be offended?

Pfefferkuchen · 16/12/2019 20:24

for those who are so pissed off, why wouldn't you reply saying you plan to stay put on whichever day and not go with the sender? How hard can it be?

It's Christmas, having plans for Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day is hardly outrageous, that's what most people do - or will be stuck because everywhere is booked in advance.

Bluetrews25 · 16/12/2019 20:26

Very dictatorial, even though it says to speak up if not agreeable. Speak up if you dare and you will probably be faced with a Big Discussion.
No time for toilet breaks or any kind of spontaneity.
I read that and shuddered.
I hate Enforced Fun.

Ponoka7 · 16/12/2019 20:33

"I hate Enforced Fun."

Then how do you ever get to go to a, show, attend a family dinner, or plan for anything, including a holiday?

I think it makes sense. People have the option to take part, or bow out. Thursday's plans don't start until 4pm and the evening involves going to the pub. Hardly exhausting.

Considering most of MN seem to not like people to pop in unannounced. What are you supposed to do?

CherryPlum · 16/12/2019 20:33

Oh lordy I would HATE it!! It stresses me out just reading that.

Christmas is meant to be a period of time off work, a break from all the busy routines and time-keeping and rushing. I would have to decline the invite and stay at home in my pyjamas instead! What on earth kind of person would come up with such a plan and actually put it in writing to people, like a list of orders!

Bluetrews25 · 16/12/2019 20:45

Panoka7 - I hate Enforced, micromanaged, scheduled to the second, Fun. Quite happy to meet up and go with the flow. The rigid timetable is very offputting.

Pfefferkuchen · 16/12/2019 20:48

Christmas is meant to be a period of time off work, a break from all the busy routines and time-keeping and rushing.

for you maybe

for some of us it's time to do Christmas activities with kids, organise meet-ups or long stays with families, and taking a break for some of us means eating out A LOT which needs to be booked - even my food shops deliveries have been booked as soon as they were released.

Nothing wrong with staying in your pjs all day for a week, but very wrong to expect everybody to do the same when they come to visit.

If the sender has merely stated what THEY are doing, and people just need to let them know if they follow or not, they are my kind of people.

Pfefferkuchen · 16/12/2019 20:51

I hate Enforced, micromanaged, scheduled to the second, Fun.

[day out] (small picnic) and pop into [great] Grandma

is that what you call scheduled to the second? How do some of you even manage to catch a plane I'd love to know

CherryPlum · 16/12/2019 21:05

Oh don't get me started on catching a plane, that really is a stressful nightmare!

We're all different, that's for sure 😀

Jenpop234 · 16/12/2019 21:11

Sounds fab! I'd love it if someone put that much thought and effort into planning our visit! I love being busy and doing things and I also like having a plan. Assuming your family are the same it will be great, some people just like to sit on their arse in front of the TV so might not be for them.

NotSureWhoIAmToday · 16/12/2019 21:24

I think it kind of makes sense (well actually the detail/redacted bits don't - but the need to do such a schedule.

There seems to be a lot of different people/families/visits to fit into a few days. Nieces/Grandsons (whatever) to watch in nativities/bands. Great Grandma to visit.

Without someone taking the big picture and making sure it is organised it could get very messy. And the travel logistics could get painful.

But it has been sorted, very kindly by someone. So I would be very grateful though a bit freaked out at how little time there is to chill This way, Maisie gets an audience as Mary in the nativity and Great-Grandma knows when to get biscuits in.

As long as there is an opt out clause.

And this is wayyyy better than nothing being sorted and then it all becomes a mess. The only time you have free to see Great-Grandma she is out. Everyone is at the picnic and miss the beginning of the nativity.

My viewpoint comes from DH's family who arrange to visit MIL (who lives v close to us) and don't tell us they are coming up to see her until the day before - and then are pissed off we cannot fit into the 2 hour window they planned to pop in and see us.

greenlynx · 16/12/2019 22:25

I would take it as a suggestion, choose what will work for me and maybe suggest some changes. It’s difficult to say how realistic these plans are, depends on the travel time, age of children, etc. Sunday might be too packed. Christmas Day looks ok for me. You definitely need to plan for a short stay with relatives over Christmas. My rule is one activity per day and one meal out/ at relatives per day, the rest is free flow for breakfast, showering, dressing/ undressing, travel.
We visit relatives abroad once a year. They don’t plan at all or just announce plans to us. It’s very frustrating. So this message would be like a pre-Christmas present for me.

milliefiori · 16/12/2019 22:31

I would like it if it was suggested rather than dictated, and phrased more informally. So if someone wrote:

I thought on thursday it would be fun to see X's band and then have dinne rin the pub. On Friday if it's fine, we could walk up Y hill an dop in to visit B on the way home. If anyone fancies it, I'm up for doing to z panto on Boxing Day. Happy to book tickets.

That way you are suggetsing an itinerary without everyone feeling they need to synchronise watches and stand at the ready.

Flip

1 2 3