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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when might I be able to leave baby if she refuses bottle!

41 replies

Pastaalldaylong · 15/12/2019 18:19

4 month old baby...EBF. Have tried to give her a bottle from 6 weeks but no chance! Still trying but no luck. I have a Christmas party I'd like to pop along to in the evening soon...is there any chance of me going?! Especially as it's the evening which is usual fussy/feeding time. If not - when might this happen? When we've started weaning? I love my baby but also like a chance to maybe go out for dinner once...!😊

OP posts:
Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 15/12/2019 18:28

I have no advice to offer OP except to say on youtube if you type in your question as I have done there are some videos of your situation that might be of some help to you maybe? Might be worth taking a look to see if they can offer you some new ideas? Best Wishes sent x

BellaVida · 15/12/2019 18:33

I guess you have tried different teats on the bottle? All mine were EBF initially and flat out refused all teats until I discovered NUK ones.

NameChange30 · 15/12/2019 18:34

Have you been trying to give the bottle yourself or has your partner been trying? With DS, I had to absent myself and leave DH to it. He just kept persevering. DS would sometimes only have a bit of milk until I got home but it was fine.

NameChange30 · 15/12/2019 18:35

(I mean that I would go elsewhere in the house, didn't just go out and hope for the best. Although sometimes there is a place for that too!)

Clangus00 · 15/12/2019 18:36

A doidy cup?

BertieBotts · 15/12/2019 18:37

You could go for 2-3 hours, feed immediately before leaving. Baby night not be very happy without milk during that time, but they wouldn't be hungry. It would be a good opportunity for your partner to try and settle her in other ways.

Repeat with increased time span as they get older and eat more in the way of solids.

Original poster
Pastaalldaylong · 15/12/2019 18:38

@NameChange30 yep always partner offering and I've left the room and even stood outside once! Grin
She's taken a bottle once and about 30ml. That was a month ago. Nothing since.
@BellaVida yes I have bought 5 different bottles in total to try. Confused
@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe thanks will take a look.

OP posts:
MogThoughtDarkThoughts · 15/12/2019 18:38

Depends how fussy she is and the party you’re going to but I went out for a lovely birthday meal yesterday evening with my 5 month DS in the sling. He was very good and hardly made a peep - and if he did I just shoved boob into his mouth. I know this won’t work for all babies but is it worth considering? Will be doing the same tomorrow for a meal with friends.

He also doesn’t take a bottle... or go to his dad without much caterwauling, but that’s a different issue!

Original poster
Pastaalldaylong · 15/12/2019 18:39

@Clangus00 interestingly, the breast feeding specialist I spoke to said maybe a beaker or cup..

OP posts:
Thecathouse · 15/12/2019 18:39

Still haven’t left her alone at 8 months but that’s more my problem than hers, realistically I could go out for an hour or two over lunch time and could from about 6 months

Honestly if baby won’t take a bottle (mine wouldn’t, even NUK teats) why not try introducing a basic sippy cup, Tommie tippee do a basic free flow one for £1.50 and at 4 months baby is capable of using one

MogThoughtDarkThoughts · 15/12/2019 18:40

For what it’s worth friends have advised that he might take a sippy cup, as it’s so different from bottles. So I’m planning to try that when I start weaning in earnest.

Shahlalala · 15/12/2019 18:41

@BertieBotts that’s dreadful advice for a bf baby. They are (usually) fed on demand and breast milk is easier to digest, 45 minutes I believe.
M

CherryPlum · 15/12/2019 18:44

Yep def try a 2-handled beaker. Let her play about with it, eventually she might sip from it. That's how I got my bottle refuser to take milk.

Original poster
Pastaalldaylong · 15/12/2019 18:45

@MogThoughtDarkThoughts can't take baby as it's a work xmas party! I keep seeing friends whose baby bottle feed or at least take a bottle out enjoying xmas meals or on a date night and wonder if that'll ever happen again along with husband ever doing night feed Grin.

I'll have a look at the sippy cup thanks.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 15/12/2019 18:47

It's really not, I've had two! As long as you're not expecting them to go several hours between every single feed, you can leave them occasionally. The idea that you must be tied to the baby at all times in order to breastfeed successfully is not true and really puts people off breastfeeding, which is unhelpful. This baby is four months not four weeks. Breastfeeding is well established and a mother can leave for a few hours wothout any lasting ill effects.

Pipanchew2 · 15/12/2019 18:49

Hi OP. I was in the same position with DC1. We tried everything! In the end I accepted that it was what it was and didn’t leave her for more than an hour or so until she was around 7 months. Once weaning was well established I could leave her for longer (around 3-4hrs) as she could be ‘stretched out’ with youghurt and water if she wanted a feed.
Tbh it drove me mad but it was clearly what worked for her and I look back on it now and realise that it wasn’t actually that long that I was ‘tied’ to her.
If you really want to go could DH stay in car with baby for a bit so that you can show your face? I sometimes had to do things like that: DH used to have to hang around outside restaurants with baby just so I could see my friends for a couple of hours and feel a bit human.

With DC2 I was thrilled when he was more amenable to the bottle but now he regularly refuses breast and bottle and is under paediatrician for poor weight gain. It’s put DC1 into perspective as whilst she refused bottle she did seem to thrive being EBF.

Good luck OP

frenchknitting · 15/12/2019 18:49

In all honesty it was about 9 months for me. But by 11 months I was back at work 4 days a week, and that period was long forgotten. It is intense, but it doesn't last forever.

Original poster
Pastaalldaylong · 15/12/2019 18:54

@Pipanchew2 I agree, I do think well be past 4 months have gone so quickly realistically it's not that long another 4 months. I do really enjoy it and find it so convenient I just sometimes wish for a nice dinner out with friends or husband! I'd have plenty of willing family babysitters! Sorry to hear about your baby.

OP posts:
Teachermaths · 15/12/2019 18:56

I agree with Bertie.

Also leave a bottle, if baby is desperate they will feed from it!

Original poster
Pastaalldaylong · 15/12/2019 18:58

I'm planning on leaving a bottle just incase...and hopefully she can be distracted with playing, a walk in the pram or if really desperate a drive in the car Grin

OP posts:
wendz86 · 15/12/2019 18:58

I left mine for around 3 hours from 4 months. Fed before I left also knew they wouldn’t starve if they refused bottle . Just need to leave them with someone patient if they cry .

laudete · 15/12/2019 18:58

Have you tried latex (versus silicone) teats? The nice, expensive bottles tend to come with the pretty silicone teats. One of mine only liked very cheap latex teats for EBM.

Snaleandthewhail · 15/12/2019 18:59

I was working four days a week when my bottle refusing baby was 30 weeks old. Evenings were harder but eventually I got to the “well he’s been fed, he can definitely last three hours, and if dad needs to go in with a drink of water/expressed/formula and he refused it, well he’s not going to starve by waiting another hour”.

But it is HARD when they rely on you, really it is.

Mylittlepony374 · 15/12/2019 19:03

Try a Munchkin Miracle 360 cup. Both mine were on those somewhere around 4 or 5 months. I've also heard good things about doidy cups but never used.
It definitely gets easier once weaning begins, you can get longer stretches with a bit of food to keep them going.

BecauseOfTheRain · 15/12/2019 19:09

Mine was a staunch refuser (tried every bottle and most cups) until 8 months. The day she finally cracked, she watched another baby drink from a bottle earlier that morning and decided to try it herself later when I offered her some formula in a MAM bottle. Good luck, I know it seems like an eternity, but it does pass so quickly.