To ask when might I be able to leave baby if she refuses bottle!

[Pastaalldaylong]

4 month old baby...EBF. Have tried to give her a bottle from 6 weeks but no chance! Still trying but no luck. I have a Christmas party I'd like to pop along to in the evening soon...is there any chance of me going?! Especially as it's the evening which is usual fussy/feeding time. If not - when might this happen? When we've started weaning? I love my baby but also like a chance to maybe go out for dinner once...!😊

DC2 never took a bottle. Thankfully he fed every 3 hours (he just fell into this routine- I did nothing to push this) so I could reliably nip out for a couple of hours. From 4 months he took a sippy cup and I could leave for longer periods, but usually daytime. Evenings are much trickier as there is the comfort/routine element of bedtime too. Maybe have a practice run before the real thing (a good excuse for another evening break 😁).

DS has had breast milk in a baby cup (like shot glasses made from BPA free plastic) since he was really tiny, a couple of weeks old, until he had his tongue tie snipped and had consistently used them for water from six months, it's surprises people a bit when they see a small baby drinking from an open cup but it's well worth a try. Hold it for them at first DS would throw it. He is one now and has his little open cup of water on his high chair with meals and just helps himself.

I'd recommend a cup - look up cup feeding videos, they have to kind of lap it rather than you pouring it into their mouth.

For my DD she would only take Medela calma bottles, I don't know if you've tried them? They mimic the let down of BF

YY OP :) Exactly those kinds of things. It is really good IME for Dad to get this kind of experience in. Otherwise they can end up defaulting to "I can't do anything, she needs you" and you will end up burning out. Don't be a martyr - go out if you want to go out. I have not gone out loads when my breastfed babies have been small but occasionally in order to not feel totally trapped is essential, IMO. Hope you have fun :)

We managed with an oral syringe. It's fiddly and time consuming as you have to keep refilling the syringe but it bought me some precious hours of sleep. Dd1 was a finger sucker so Dp gave her his little finger to suck and slipped the syringe in the side of her mouth.

My DD (now 12 months) got better dramatically after starting solids around 6 months. Maybe it's just getting used to having other things in the mouth like spoons, different food textures etc. And if all else fails, someone can always spoon feed her water or milk.

I had a non-avoidable work event when she was 4 months and left her for 4-5 hours. She refused to drink during this time and was tired and hungry when I came back but otherwise fine. I think babies are more resilient than people think. My mum had to cold-turkey me from breastfeeding when she went back to work and I famously refused to drink for 8 hours the entire first day she was gone. Then I quickly cracked the second day and started drinking from a bottle. Survived to tell the tale.

Before DD started solids, I unsuccessfully tried all the MN suggestions - Doidy cup, Baby cup, Miracle Cup, Avent, Comotomo, NUK, Mam, Lansinoh, different temperatures, different nipple flow strength, expressed milk, powder formula milk, pre-made formula milk. It was really expensive and I kept hoping the next one would be the magic bullet. In the end, she just suddenly decided to drink from a bottle and the brand made no difference. We went back to using the very first Avent bottles that I bought during pregnancy.

I left bottle refusing DD for 3hrs at 3mths old as I had an appt I had to go to. She glared at me when I returned and DH had visibly aged and there was a collection of bottles and a variety of ready made formulas and expressed milk on the side, all of which had been rejected but everyone survived and I felt so much better for having been able to go

I'll be honest - mine did take a bottle from 3 weeks, but it was a good while before I could go out and DH not need to give DS milk and then later formula while I was gone for a few hours. I reckon 6ish months? So you probably aren't too far off. If I had something unavoidable I think I would have tried the syringe idea.

My DD is 1 and never took a bottle. She stopped cluster feeding in the evening when we started weaning and I had my first evening meal out without her when she was 7 months.

I know in theory she wouldn't have starved if we tried earlier but I wasn't willing to leave her to get upset.

Daytime took longer but we got there and since 11 months she can go all day without a feed if there's enough interesting things to distract her.

I went to a work thing when she was 4 months old and DH came and stayed in the hotel and took her for a walk while I had dinner. I remember being really impressed he got me 2 and a half hours! Feels like a distant memory now!!

How far away is the restaurant? I think in your shoes I would get my husband to park up outside and just nip out for a quick feed. They don’t feed for long at that age. Also prevents potential leaks and you could stay out for a little bit longer.

Update: I managed to go out last night to the party for 3.5 hours! Success.
@cobwebsoncornices that made me laugh. Similar scenario here - baby grizzly apparently from moment I left. Dh had tried the bottle I left (in case a miracle had occurred and baby suddenly decided they would like a bottle) still full of milk and he had resorted to taking her for a walk in the pram followed by a drive so she fell asleep. Got home and she obviously wasnt starving as managed a 'chat' and a nappy change before being fed.

Oops didn't mean the winking face!

I never gave DS a bottle, I left him for an hour or two from about 4m straight after a feed, I couldn't leave him for the whole day till about 11m as he took a while to start eating food and drinking a sippy cup of water.

Both of mine stared off taking a bottle and then stopped at exactly 3 months old. I tried ALL the things but it never worked after that.

I night weaned both at around 7 months, and at least then I could go out after their last bedtime feed (so about 7 so could go out for dinner or drinks).

I had a couple of occasions where I had stuff i had to do - a day in work and a friends wedding, where my parents actually brought my baby (who was about 10 months or so) to feed with me in the day. If you really wanted to go out would someone bring the baby to you to feed if you were nearby?

Glad to hear you got to your party! Hope you had a lovely time! That sounds like how DH got me my work dinner - pushing her round Birmingham in her pram!!

When my second was 4 months old I had to go to a one day one off work event despite being on maternity leave. I left DC2 with DH and she refused the bottle for a few hours and eventually gave up and drank it and passed out for two hours. I might be tempted to feed him up before I go then cross my fingers that he'll get hungry enough to accept the bottle.