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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to put the tree up

44 replies

rhubarbcrumbles · 15/12/2019 17:28

Three grumpy teens who said putting the tree up is a PITA.
AIBU to tell them we won't have a tree then?

Yes - YABU to say no tree
No - YANBU to say no tree

OP posts:
Wimpeyspread · 15/12/2019 17:30

YANBU

Ponoka7 · 15/12/2019 17:31

I voted Yabu, because they'll never let you forget the year 'you couldn't be bothered' to give them a proper Christmas.

I say this as someone with three Adult DD's, who when given advice used to tell me everything I'd ever done wrong.

Pipandmum · 15/12/2019 17:31

I put the tree up for me mostly. I've always had one and I lived alone for 25 years.

Ohyesiam · 15/12/2019 17:32

YABU, unless you really want one. Don’t let the grumpy teens get you down!
As the old wisecrack goes, tell them to feel free to move out now, while they still know everything.

flouncyfanny · 15/12/2019 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TulipCat · 15/12/2019 17:35

I always put the tree up in our house. Sometimes the children want to help, sometimes they don't. Either is fine with me, I don't want it to be a chore, it should be fun!

DCITennison · 15/12/2019 17:35

I see putting the tree and decorations and a billion bloody lights up as something I do as a parent for the dc.

I wouldn’t have wanted to do it as a teen either - it’s not fun. But I appreciated (and still do) that my mum did it.

BlouseAndSkirt · 15/12/2019 17:37

Do you want to sit around all Christmas in everyday drear?

Of course not!

Ge your tree up and have a drink.

Original poster
rhubarbcrumbles · 15/12/2019 17:38

I guess I'm just sick of them not helping, moaning at being asked to come in the supermarket when I do the weekly food shop, moaning that there is nothing in the fridge, moaning that I bought the wrong mince pies, moaning about being expected to wash up, moaning about being asked to put their glass bottle in the recycling bin before it's emptied in the morning, (I've already done the recycling and put the bin out) blah blah blah.

Now moaning about the Xmas tree is the final straw.

Fuck Xmas.

OP posts:
70sWitch · 15/12/2019 17:42

Tell THEM. And don't forget the "Fuck Christmas".
See how they like being moaned at

RobinBlues · 15/12/2019 17:44

Get them all round the table and lay it out for them. They are not pulling their weight, just moaning and it has to stop.

cherryblossomgin · 15/12/2019 17:45

You need to go on strike. Put your feet up with a glass of wine and ignore them. YANBU.

RandomMess · 15/12/2019 17:45

Our teens put the tree up... if they don't it doesn't happen!!!

SomeKindOfMonster · 15/12/2019 17:48

I’d tell them buying and wrapping gifts is a PITA too

twoshedsjackson · 15/12/2019 17:49

Take them at their word, in terms of sweetest reason. Agree that putting up the tree really isn't worth the hassle. Are they old enough teenagers to be left alone while you go out and do something nice for yourself' ? Christmas jolly with a friend?Just agree cheerfully when they tell you what a terrible mother you are.

Arnoldthecat · 15/12/2019 17:49

Im with Pipandmum do it for yourself if you wish to and enjoy it. If others want to join you fine, if they dont ,well fuck em..

gavisconismyfriend · 15/12/2019 17:49

I'd put the tree up but "fail" to provide any dinner - when they ask where it is, explain that it took all afternoon to do the tree because you had no help.

Original poster
rhubarbcrumbles · 15/12/2019 17:50

Oh, yes, they can be left alone while I go out, eldest is 19 so I could (in theory, I won't do it of course) bugger off to somewhere hot and sunny for Xmas.

OP posts:
WhatchaMean · 15/12/2019 17:52

Ugh 3 teenagers. YANBU.

hazell42 · 15/12/2019 17:55

It's too early anyway.
You cant put the tree up until 4pm on Christmas Eve. About 5 minutes before you break out the egg nog and After Eight mints
Bet they'd help then
My kids.always argued about the tree. Now I just do it and those that want to join in

speakout · 15/12/2019 17:58

Do you want the tree up OP?
You can't force someone to enjoy an activity.

Do you want them to be biddable? To go through the motions while they grit their teeth?

Let it go OP- embrace your tree. Have a glass of wine while you decorate it and listen to christmas music.

Decorating a tree shoud not be a chore- for anyone. I personally woud lovethe opportunity to decorate a tree entirely to my taste!

Mrscog · 15/12/2019 17:59

Do you want a tree? Surely it hinges on that? For me a tree is pivotal for Christmas so I would do it anyway. If you’re not bothered then don’t do it!

GreenTulips · 15/12/2019 18:01

Mine were given the choice, fetch the tree and decorations from the loft, or no tree.

One fetched and two helped decorate, we had Christmas songs on the TV and they all had a nice time looking at some special old decorations.

I did threaten n out to put the tree up unless they helped and they relented in the end.

Stillfunny · 15/12/2019 18:04

My teenagers went through this stage. Everything was a hassle . But they still wanted all the traditional things to be done.And were horrified at the suggestion that I wouldnt bother if no one else did.

Now , a bit older , they appreciate the effort it takes and are gutted if they are not able to join in.

Teenagers are arseholes , not just at Christmas.Crown Grin

user1471453601 · 15/12/2019 18:05

Be paient, your turn will come.

For the last couple of years DD has done my tree. various health issue which mean I'm a bit wobbly and liable to crash into the tree if I attempt to stand near it.

I say the tree was produced by DD and directed by me, as i point out which gaps need filling and where certain ornaments should be placed.

It looks lovely, even if, as the director, I do say so myself.

So, put the tree up, and in years to come, sit back in your chair with your glass of wine directing the entire ooeration