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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to put the tree up

44 replies

rhubarbcrumbles · 15/12/2019 17:28

Three grumpy teens who said putting the tree up is a PITA.
AIBU to tell them we won't have a tree then?

Yes - YABU to say no tree
No - YANBU to say no tree

OP posts:

Cartright · 15/12/2019 18:06

YANBU

Either they genuinely don't want a tree. In which case there's no point in doing it for the sake of it. Or, they will realise they miss it, in which case they will know next year they need to be a bit less mardy and put some effort in, if they want Christmas to be fun.

They're teenagers, not small children. They can understand that if they state a preference there is a possibility people will take them at their word.

cakeandchampagne · 15/12/2019 18:09

Let them know when you’re planning to put the tree up- and having some pizza after.

StCharlotte · 15/12/2019 18:34

We're not having one as we're away for Christmas. Shall I come and do yours? I'm very good at Christmas trees

Belindabelle · 15/12/2019 18:55

I am not putting the big tree up this year either. We have a small real tree in the family room but the big bastard Balsalm Hill is not going up.

I go to a lot of effort every year with presents, food and decorations. This year I have been ill so asked for some help. Neither DH, DS1 21 or DS2 14 could be arsed to help me with the decorations so stuff them!

I have some candles and fairy lights in the sitting room so it’s not totally devoid of Christmas cheer but that big tree is a nightmare to put up with all the fluffing and fussing you need to do to get it to look decent. This year I don’t have the time, energy or inclination to do it. It’s a shame that my lovely decorations collected over 30 years won’t get an annual airing but so be it.

yasle · 15/12/2019 19:01

Don't put it up
I fucking hate Christmas

Honeyroar · 15/12/2019 19:04

Do you want a tree? If you do put one up, if not don’t. I agree that it is a bit of a pain to put a tree up. I compromise- we have an outside real tree outside the living room window with lights on, then I decorate the fireplace with lights and garland and put a big glass vase with lights and baubles on the coffee table. It still looks pretty festive without too much effort!

Nearlyalmost50 · 15/12/2019 21:00

My advice is put up the tree that you want. If you want a different tree, like one of the cute pot grown ones, or a branch with lights on it, or no tree, do that. If anyone says what about the big tree, say, great, let me know when you want to do it and I'll help out, sounds brilliant.

If they are going to be grumpy and moody about everything, start backing off a bit and pleasing yourself. Coming forward and running around after them just inspires more moaning. Have a bit of the Christmas you want.

I think the stuff about chores is separate to this really- I'd have one or two bottom line chores that have to be done and don't worry about the rest, I wouldn't make three teens go round the supermarket with me.

Original poster

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 18:00

No tree is up...they think they 'might do it on Friday'

I expect them to come to the supermarket with me as they just say 'buy whatever you think for dinner' and then moan if they haven't got stuff that they wanted.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 17/12/2019 18:29

😂😂😂

Tell them they need to do a menu plan otherwise you are just buying for you

greenlobster · 17/12/2019 18:38

I got past this when it arose a couple of Christmases ago with "OK, I'm buying a predecorated popup tree instead then".
Apparently that offended her sense of how-Christmas-should-be so she agreed to help put the tree up.

Sparkletastic · 17/12/2019 18:44

Meal plan with them.
Get shopping delivered. Can't blame them for not wanting to trudge around supermarkets which are hellholes at this time of year.
Leave them to put tree up.

VictoriaBun · 17/12/2019 18:45

How old are they ?
Tbh if they are older teens I'd be saying every now and again ( say within 2 week period ) each of them will do the shopping for that day and cook the meal.
You deserve time to yourself .

IdiotInDisguise · 17/12/2019 18:47

Since my child is a teen, I only put the decorations up to avoid the house being burglarised while we are out...

madcatladyforever · 17/12/2019 18:51

I never have a tree, I think bringing a dead tree into the house is properly weird.

RandomMess · 17/12/2019 18:53

BTW we have buffet food all over Christmas, it's pretty random as they all pick what they want to eat but everyone is happy and minimal cooking/washing up.

Oblomov19 · 17/12/2019 18:59

I feel Similar. Unappreciative teens. If it wasn't for me, the decorations wouldn't be up.

LesLavandes · 17/12/2019 19:00

I hear you OP. No help every year. I used to love putting tree up with my father.

My children have never helped me put up or take down.

In fact they just moan and do fuck all to help.

You are not on your own

Original poster

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 19:21

DCs don't know it yet but on Monday they are getting given a shopping list and will be doing the weekly food shop as they wouldn't come with me this week, Eldest DC can drive so off they will toddle (and while they are out I will have a shopping delivery of stuff I want if I am mean enough to arrange it!!) and brave the supermarket 2 days before Xmas

OP posts:

RandomMess · 17/12/2019 19:27

Love it!

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