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Friend thinks I'm a hypocrite. AIBU?

54 replies

northerngirl2020 · 15/12/2019 16:16

I’ve been single 2 years now, have two dcs 8 and 6. I was having a discussion about relationships with a close friend the other day and told her I wouldn’t date/marry someone with kids. Tbh I don’t want to deal with exes, step children, what happens if his kids doesn’t like me? Kids being treated different, money etc all that drama. And reading the step parenting board on MN cements my decision even more. Friend thinks I’m being a hypocrite, but I just think this is what I prefer. AIBU?

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 15/12/2019 19:38

If you have more though you would be open to them being treated differently, money being unequal etc especially if the relationship breaks down as they will have different fathers.

I think it’s a lot to ask that someone takes in tor’s when you do the sane and perhaps friends feel the same.

Valanice1989 · 15/12/2019 19:42

As others have said, you're not a hypocrite unless you would get angry with a man for refusing to date you because of your kids. However, this part confused me a bit:

I would love to have more children yes

You say in your OP that you wouldn't want your kids to be treated differently. If you have more kids with a new man, your existing ones will be his step-kids, but the new ones will be his own. You would still end up facing many of the problems that are common in blended families.

theworldhasgonecrazy1 · 15/12/2019 20:10

Not a hypocrite at all. I have always said I didn't want someone with kids, ended up with someone with a child and have so many issues which tbh aren't worth it and were exactly what I imagined Confused

NobJobWinker · 15/12/2019 20:18

YANBU and I think you are making a very sensible choice for yourself and your DC

Its only hypocritical if you criticise other people for making similar decisions

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