To break up with him so close to Christmas?

[Patchworkquilt24]

I'm in a really unhappy relationship. I don't want to be in it anymore. It's going absolutely nowhere and I want a different life to this. Would it just be completely horrible to break up with him 10 days before Christmas? I know it's awful timing.

I think we would need more info to comment really?

I have just broken up with my BF. We don't live together, no kids. I was trying to make it through Christmas as I have already bought him gifts but this thread has helped me realise that there is no good time but we don't know enough about the situation on the OP.

I take your point but it doesn't really matter about the details now.

Well done! You did the right thing!

Imagine the entire festive period together when you don’t want to be.

Did you keep the receipt for his gift ?

How did he take it OP?

How do you feel?

He took it really badly. It was awful. I feel like shit.

Also, I know that I will be extremely sensitive to this currently but the only person I have told so far is my close friend and all she's talked about is moving into her new house and preparing for her baby arriving soon. Obviously I'm over the moon for her but of course it makes me sad.

Well done for doing it, though. I'm sorry you feel like shit; your friend's very obviously completely opposite circumstances - while delightful of course - do rub it in, don't they? Much sympathy to you.

Think of it like this : you will not meet the right man if you stick with the wrong one. Now you are free to make your life as you want it and to pursue your own happiness,

A breakup is never a nice conversation to have, whichever side you're on, but you can start looking forward now and exactly as Jux says, if a family and kids are something you want then you can start looking for the right partner to have them with, which was clearly not the chap you have just ended things with.

And he will be ok too. Better this than him being in a relationship that wasn't right.

@Lidon if you aren’t joking then you’re a really shitty human being.

Well done OP in ending an unhappy relationship. It's not easy, and there's never an ideal time, but it sounds like delaying the inevitable split until after Xmas would have been more cruel.
Give yourself credit for doing the right thing, even though it was obviously upsetting for both of you.

Thanks everyone. I feel very isolated and alone, I don't really have anyone in RL to talk to so I really appreciate the kindness. Feeling very low.

Well done for taking the step OP. I'm sorry it hurts now but done the line you'll thank your past self.

I am in the same boat @Patchworkquilt24 and its shitty isn't it. Even though you know you have done the right thing.

We haven't spoken now for 27 hours and I keep checking his social media. I don't know why, I ended it, I know why I did but I am still missing him in a way.

Stay strong OP! Here is a hand to hold, just get through the next few days and it will get easier.

Hand hold back @Cheeseboardcriminal

Its so hard. Sounds like we are in a very similar position, I don't know what your specific circumstances are but I too know why I did it but it still feels like the pits.

At least we know we aren't on our own. Still heard nothing although he has nicked my profile picture on Facebook and set it as his. I havent took it down yet because I don't want people asking questions.

Do you have plans with family over Christmas? I think it will be a real test, all the sentimentality and social pressure

Is the profile picture of the two of you?

Tbh I know it's so hard going from speaking to someone all the time to nothing but do you really want to hear from him? It'll just make it harder.

I was on the other side of this situation many years ago and while I was devastated at the time, I'm glad he had the moral courage to be honest with me. I think you have done the right thing.

Give yourself three weeks without worrying about how to fill the space he used to occupy. Be kind to yourself.

Who cares about his Christmas. Just dump him and you will have a great Christmas.

Well done OP, that's impressive and you won't regret it. You're never more alone than when in a shit relationship and you've just bought your life back for the new year. No better gift to yourself.

@Lidon For real?
A week before Christmas, two children?

Nah, I think he's trying to make a 'clever' point about uppity women on mumsnet oppressing men by posting an outrageous reverse. He's patting himself on the back so hard that his teeth are in danger of loosening.

I broke up with mine the 16th December last year after trying to wait until after Christmas. The night before he had me cowering under him in the kitchen over a mark on a knife he found in the kitchen drawer.

I put my DP to bed the night after and cane down an led said we need to talk. He said ‘what’s up now’

I told him I wasn’t happy anymore and I wanted to break up as from NOW and I was concrete in my decision.

Lots of tears from him, admitted he treated me like shit and he packed a bag and left an hour later. I had the best Christmas ever, no regrets. My Dd was upset, but grateful.

Do it now and spare your Christmas Op x

Just read your update OP! You will be fine. You really will. Life’s too short to be unhappy

I'm not gunna lie, I feel about as bad as if gets. Its so so painful. I think I'll just have to ride it out but it's really really hard.

It’ll be hard for a few weeks OP. The shock of it, the guilt and the sheer sentimentality of Christmas are all conspiring to make this a bloody tough time for you. BUT - it will get better slowly. At the moment, you’re still grieving for the relationship that could have been.

Listen to some uplifting music, watch some funny films/TV and try to expand your social circle so you’re not so isolated. Try meet Up or a local exercise class - it’ll make you feel better and stop you moping around.