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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pregnancy announcement

82 replies

Flamehairedboy · 14/12/2019 14:14

Just found out this morning that I'm pregnant. Over the moon. I'm getting married in two weeks. Considering waiting until my wedding day to surprise my partner with the news. WWYD

OP posts:
plunkplunkfizz · 14/12/2019 15:58

Honeybee85 it was a qualitative judgement, not quantitative. I think leggings as trousers are a dreadful idea, doesn’t mean no one else has a different opinion.

You’re taking my opinion that your idea is shite very personally.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 14/12/2019 16:00

saying it’s a dreadful idea implies that nobody would like it

Not at all. It implies that it would be risky because lots of people wouldn't like it.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 14/12/2019 16:06

OMG just tell him

Today or tomorrow if you just want to sit with it yourself for a moment.

It would be hugely unfair to him to announce this on your wedding day. You may both decide you want to keep it quiet from the rest of your family and friends for a bit as well. So how would that work?

Derbee · 14/12/2019 16:15

Awful to keep such a big secret from your partner. I would tell him straight away.

Span1elsRock · 14/12/2019 16:29

That sounds a bit naff, being honest.

Kirigiri · 14/12/2019 16:29

Aww I think it’s a sweet idea but understand why others say to tell him. Congratulations

kateandme · 14/12/2019 16:39

your going to be getting more strssed towards the wedding.add to that pregnancy up down and round about feelings.i think knowing this would make it easier for him to help or at least know if your acting particulaly 'wo'.
and it will make the day and leading up to it all the more exciting.
plus i think you should tell him as soon as you know really.

kateandme · 14/12/2019 16:41

also i think you have all sort of feeling when its announced.some rational.some people not so or very very NOT rational.its a huge thing and so i think he needs to be able to sit with it and digest it before the wedding stuff is piled on too!

Flamehairedboy2 · 14/12/2019 16:49

OP here. Thanks for all the advice. It's was just an idea. Turns out I couldn't wait 20 minutes let alone two weeks. He's delighted.
We already have a child and we're trying for this one. If I had of waited until the wedding I would have done it when we had sometime alone. Told him what I was thinking and he said he'd have been happy either way but probably would have coped me not drinking over Xmas.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 14/12/2019 16:55

No.
Tell him now.
Please do not make him feel like an eejit.

ElfAndSafeKey · 14/12/2019 17:03

It's up to you, and you know how he will react best, but I would hate it if I was him.
Wedding days are so busy and full that he may not be able to process it properly.

ThinkIamflyingundertheradar · 14/12/2019 17:14

Yay! I am glad you both know and are both delighted! Happy Christmas and have a wonderful wedding Flowers.

GreytExpectations · 14/12/2019 17:15

Op, I think you'd be really awful to not tell him right away. It isn't a great way to start a marriage with dishonesty and your idea of "surprising" him is not sweet at all. Tell him as he deserves to know and do not add any additional stress to your wedding day.

Beckkynanny · 14/12/2019 17:25

Glad he’s delighted Smile

Congratulations to you all!

dontgobaconmyheart · 14/12/2019 17:25

I would tell him now OP and can't really see any good reasons not to. On the wedding day seems inconsiderate, there will be enough going on to enjoy, best to share now and enter marriage together on an even keel.

EmmiJay · 14/12/2019 17:28

Ahhh! You told him Grin wonderful!

Valanice1989 · 14/12/2019 17:33

Congrats to you both, OP!

BlueSuffragette · 14/12/2019 17:49

Tell him today. Congratulations Smile

NerrSnerr · 14/12/2019 17:51

I'd tell him now. Getting married is stressful enough without having extra stuff running through his mind.

NerrSnerr · 14/12/2019 17:54

Sorry, missed the update because of the name change. Congratulations.

SheChoseDown · 14/12/2019 19:16

Depends, is he the father?

TemporaryUsernameAIBU · 14/12/2019 19:34

Pregnancy isn’t your secret to keep.

A pregnancy belongs to two people.

MamaFlintstone · 14/12/2019 19:38

I waited 2 days to tell my DH (until it was a strong enough reading to get a “pregnant” on a digital test rather than a squinter on a strip) and even then he was a bit miffed I hadn’t told him immediately. I think waiting 2 weeks until your wedding day has the potential to backfire massively.

MamaFlintstone · 14/12/2019 19:39

I missed the update too! Congratulations, I think that was the right choice. Hope you have a lovely wedding day Smile

RandomAmanda · 14/12/2019 20:15

*Pregnancy isn’t your secret to keep.

A pregnancy belongs to two people*

So don't be greedy OP, share the morning sickness, backache and labour pains. Be sure to ask him about his birthing plan, would he like an epidural? An episiotomy? You can massage each others pereniums together too.