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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pregnancy announcement

82 replies

Flamehairedboy · 14/12/2019 14:14

Just found out this morning that I'm pregnant. Over the moon. I'm getting married in two weeks. Considering waiting until my wedding day to surprise my partner with the news. WWYD

OP posts:

Hohonoshow · 14/12/2019 15:01

A wedding day is a big enough deal surely? And emotional enough, it doesn't need an added surprise pg announcement!
I assume you know that he will be as happy about it as you?

Crazypanda85 · 14/12/2019 15:02

Firstly huge congratulations on being pregnant and your upcoming wedding!

I'd tell him before. I'm early stages and the way I'm feeling my husband would of guessed!
Also there's so much emotion already on a wedding day, throwing something else huge into the mix may not have quite the reaction you're hoping for!(depends on him though, my husband is very private and takes a while to process big news!!!) You could maybe arrange a nice meal at his favourite restaurant and say you wanted to go one last time before you're Mr&Mrs and tell him then if you wanted it to be a bit more exciting than just telling him outright

firstimemamma · 14/12/2019 15:03

I'd tell him today. He needs to know and deserves to.

A week after we found out we needed to go to an early scan because of some bleeding. Not uncommon at all and thankfully everything was fine - it was a false alarm and we have a lovely ds. If you needed to go for anything like that before the big day it would be increasingly hard to keep it a secret.

Yetanotherwinter · 14/12/2019 15:11

Congratulations!! Don’t wait until the wedding day. It could spoil the day for him if it’s an unexpected pregnancy. I would tell him straight away.

steff13 · 14/12/2019 15:13

I think it would be fun to wait, but there's no way that I could. I'd probably have already told him by now.

ThinkIamflyingundertheradar · 14/12/2019 15:17

I agree you should tell him now. It’s his baby too and it seems unfair to keep the information from him.

Justaboy · 14/12/2019 15:22

Yea!! go tell the good tidings that a saviour is to be be born:-)

Honeybee85 · 14/12/2019 15:27

Don’t wait for 2 weeks. Tell him now.

Perhaps get a scan at a private clinic and surprise him with a photo on your wedding day?
Or do another surprise but don’t keep this news from him for 2 weeks.

Ginger1982 · 14/12/2019 15:30

Was this a planned pregnancy that you were both hoping for?

Daffodil55 · 14/12/2019 15:32

I think this is a tricky one because unless you have discussed (and I know it has been asked but did not see a response) starting a family immediately then it will be a shock whether you tell him before or on the wedding day.

My short answer is tell him NOW. If he is overjoyed it will enhance an already wonderful day but if he isn't then I have no advice at this time.

plunkplunkfizz · 14/12/2019 15:36

Unless you already have children you’ll be asked a lot on your wedding day about starting a family, hear allusions to seeing you again at a christening and so on. Will your DH be able to keep quiet (especially if drunk). If you tell him at such an emotive time you risk more people finding out and that might not be nice for people you’d rather tell yourself or you if you’d rather tell later.

plunkplunkfizz · 14/12/2019 15:38

Perhaps get a scan at a private clinic and surprise him with a photo on your wedding day?

I cross posted with this ^ dreadful idea. I can’t tell you angry a lot of partners would be that one partner had gone to a first scan without them. It’s honestly one of the worst ideas I’ve heard.

BoudicasBoudoir · 14/12/2019 15:38

Congratulations! Tell him.

SquareAsABlock · 14/12/2019 15:39

I'd tell him now, mostly because I don't think it's ok to keep the news for that long but also if the worst happens, do you really want your wedding anniversary to be associated with the memory of telling him?

Honeybee85 · 14/12/2019 15:40

@plunkplunkfizz

No need to be so hostile!
My DH wasn’t present at first scan and wasn’t angry at all. Not everyone is the same, you know

viques · 14/12/2019 15:41

Tell him now. I wouldn't tell anyone else, but it will be a lovely bit of special joy for you to share on the day that no one else is aware of.

As another poster said it will also be handy because he can then accidentally drink your wine and champagne for you........

ineedanotherholiday · 14/12/2019 15:41

It's a cute idea in theory to surprise him on his wedding day and with a scan photo but no, tell him now. It's his child too, 2 weeks is a long time to wait.

SpaceCadet4000 · 14/12/2019 15:41

Weddings are big enough days as it is, I'd tell him now so you aren't overwhelming him.

Also, consider that you may not want to tell family immediately- it's a bit mean telling him on a day surrounded by the family where he has to stifle his reaction.

plunkplunkfizz · 14/12/2019 15:43

Not everyone is the same, you know

I know. Hence my saying a large number would be angry. I’ve reread my post and I can’t see the words every or all in there. Lear to read dear.

RedRec · 14/12/2019 15:47

Tell him now. 'Occasion' surprises are utterly naff.

Honeybee85 · 14/12/2019 15:51

Erhm, saying it’s a dreadful idea implies that nobody would like it, so yes, I think I can read.

In fact I can read well enough to see that you wrote lear instead of learn. Funny that you’re trying to tell someone to learn how to read whilst you can’t even write down your own advice properly 😂

FruitcakeOfHate · 14/12/2019 15:52

Congratulations! But I'd be very unhappy if you kept this from me, much less if you made some production of announcing it. Everything has to be a big occasion these days. Just tell him! He's the father, fgs.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 14/12/2019 15:52

Weddings are already incredibly stressful, why would you want to add to that?

Leaving aside the issue of who impregnanted who...

ch3rrycola · 14/12/2019 15:56

Tell him now

Buyitinbamboo · 14/12/2019 15:57

I'd tell him now now but if you were going to wait I think Christmas day would be better than the wedding day. You might find you dont have loads of time just the 2 of you on the wedding day

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