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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to divorce DH over bathroom tiles?

39 replies

BathHell · 14/12/2019 08:39

We were supposed to order them yesterday but still not decided on anything. He has NO imagination whatsoever so anytime I say what "about X on the floor and Y on the walls?" he will say "I dunno, I would have to see it all together" Xmas Angry

I then suggest something random and he says "but I thought you wanted those grey ones??"

And when I showed him my Pinterest board for the millionth time he had the sheer audacity to say "wait so you don't actually know what you want? This is all very conceptual, you're just showing me elements of things you like?"

We wandered around B&Q all evening like this.

The bathroom is pretty big (17sqm for the walls and 4.5sqm on the floor) so we have to try and be budget conscious and the tiles I liked before buying a house are too many £ per sq m.

I am so so over this stupid bloody process. I wish we'd just gone to a bathroom designer.

OP posts:
NoSauce · 14/12/2019 08:40

Just choose the ones you like. That’s what I do if DH won’t commit.

Thehop · 14/12/2019 08:41

Tell him if he won’t contribute you’re choosing

BathHell · 14/12/2019 08:42

He just says "I like blue" but didn't see any blue ones he liked nor could he suggested how the rest of the room would come together.

OP posts:
Teachermaths · 14/12/2019 08:42

Just buy the ones you like.

Some people do find it hard to visualise things together. If you made me look at a pintrest board I'd probably be pissed off too.

RJnomore1 · 14/12/2019 08:45

My husband struggles to imagine how things will work together too. I oresentbhim with one or two options - do you like this? and if he hates it we try something else, if not we get it. He can get overwhelmed left to his own choice in a whole showroom.

I get the same with food shopping tbh. Too much to choose from and my head stats to burl.

Winter2020 · 14/12/2019 08:45

Find a picture of a bathroom that you both like and choose the tiles that are the closest match (while still being affordable).

JoJoSM2 · 14/12/2019 08:45

Sounds like a great husband. You get to choose what you like Grin

KrampusTime · 14/12/2019 08:45

We had our bathroom done recently. I just told him what we were having. He'd faff for weeks if I gave him options Grin

BathHell · 14/12/2019 08:45

Teachermaths

I didn't MAKE him look at it, I've been pulling together ideas ever since we agreed to buy a house and I send him the board every now and again. He says yeah those are nice.

Last night he was saying he didn't know what I meant about continuing the floor tiles up a feature wall, do I showed him a Pinterest post. He then says he doesn't like mermaid scale tiles and I hold him that well no, it's the idea, web pick our own, and we can't afford those anyway

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 14/12/2019 08:48

Go to a bathroom shop and they'll design a room for you (you'll have to pretend you want a full bathroom re-fit done by them though) then you can give them your ideas and they'll create a full render for you so he can see exactly how it'll look.

Sprinklemetinsel · 14/12/2019 08:49

Most of the online tile shops have a design feature so you can virtually tile a room as you like. Have you tried that?

Awrite · 14/12/2019 08:53

I am your husband. I don't care enough to impose my taste so dh got to decide. Everything.

Just watch - you'll decide, he'll acquiece.

Ps, I wanted blue, we ended up with bronze (I think that's what you'd call it).

Stefoscope · 14/12/2019 08:53

Another who would just go with what you like and can afford. Sounds like he doesn't care that much (mine is the same). If he said he doesn't like Mermaid scale tiles then I guess don't go with them. I get it though, you want him to be happy as it's his home too, but if he's not expressing a useful opinion there's only so much you can do. I normally end up asking a friend or my mum for a second opinion if I'm still struggling to decide.

dudsville · 14/12/2019 09:01

I agree with the others. I think when it comes to home decoration one person has to take the design lead. In our home it's me. Luckily we have an extensive garden that is His too reign over, so it works for us.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 14/12/2019 09:02

Just order what you want as pp said

Dollywilde · 14/12/2019 09:02

I just asked my (terrible at visualising) DH what you should do. He also agrees you should just get the ones you want. The conversation had an added bonus of him admitting that all the renovations which I made to our house last year without his input (because he ‘couldn’t imagine them together’) look really good... Grin result! Thanks OP Wink

BlackCatSleeping · 14/12/2019 09:04

Yeah, just divorce him. I want to marry Bobby from Queer Eye. We’d have a lovely home.

BathHell · 14/12/2019 09:08

The thing is, he WANTS to be involved. I "chose"* the kitchen so he wants a room as well.

*I saw something I liked in a catalog and we're copying everything except the floor.

OP posts:
BathHell · 14/12/2019 09:08

BlackCatSleeping

Ahh, the dream...

OP posts:
SallyLovesCheese · 14/12/2019 09:12

I just take control. DH has one room that's his (his study) and all the other rooms are my vision. Our bathroom is black and white and red! If I waited for DH we'd still be discussing tiles a year later.

Goatinthegarden · 14/12/2019 09:14

Find some examples of what you want on Pinterest, find out which of those he likes (we create shared boards and both add our ideas). Then go online to all the tile shops and find what you like in your budget. Then go to the tile shops in person with your agreed plan.

Trawling around B&Q with no plan is a recipe for divorce!

CantKeepSecrets · 14/12/2019 09:17

Another one who just goes ahead and does it.

I could go and paint our bedroom a very offensive lime green and black right now and he wouldn't notice Hmm

Craftylittlething · 14/12/2019 09:20

My husband is much the same, he’s brilliant at doing the work but choosing it is a no. I choose and unless he genuinely hates it then we that’s what we tend to go with.

mrsbyers · 14/12/2019 09:23

Go to an actual tile shop , much easier than B&Q , more choice and more visual displays

Equanimitas · 14/12/2019 09:54

The thing is, he WANTS to be involved. I "chose" the kitchen so he wants a room as well*

Give him a deadline: decision by the end of the month (I assume you don't want to start before Christmas?) or you'll go ahead and order.

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