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AIBU?

To think my 'friend' is odd?

58 replies

DidYouSayTea · 13/12/2019 20:45

Ok so I have name changed for this, but please bare with me.
I'm going to call this friend Susan, just so I don't slip up with her real name.

So I met Susan through a medical professional. We both have a medical condition (quite common, one in 103 people have it, don't want to say in case it's too outing) and Susan's Dr told her about how she had looked after a patient (me) who was 'inspiring' 'helpful' and very 'knowledgeable' about said condition. Dr asked if I was happy to talk to her as Susan was very isolated, had lost her job, didn't have any friends etc so I said yeah why not, here's my email. She's 30yo.

She got in touch with me and I really liked Susan, she showed interest in how I have managed to keep a job, how I am married, own a house. She was really nice, and we got talking more and eventually I said she could text me.
So that brings us to today.
I get daily texts off her that are sometimes ok, she'll say 'It's your favourite type of weather today' (Cold crisp mornings-LOVE them!)
'Hows DH getting on at work?' you know normal things.
Then she started to say 'I think I need to go on X drug that you're on' and I'm like 'But you said you were doing OK, why do you need to go on X drug?'
And Susan will be all like 'Well I think I might be going downhill again and that drug works for you' and then she'll contact me again saying she's spoken to the Dr and they asked her symptoms and she told them the symptoms I have and weird shit like that.
Then sometimes if I reply and don't out a 'X' on the end of a text she says weird stuff like 'I don't like it when you don't put a kiss it makes me feel like I have annoyed you' and she will message me at like 1am with things like 'Do you ever feel like you're so alone and that people are so lucky to not have medical problems' and 'Do you ever get depressed and think what's the point?' 'Someone at the shop today started talking to me about X condition and she thinks she has it really hard but has she seen us and what we go through' it's like she's looking to please me or something, and I just don't know what to do??
AIBU to want to block her number? I probably haven't given enough info but does she sound odd to you too?
She also asks me things like when did you lose your vaginity or when did you have your first kiss.
This isn't a joke btw this is deadly serious and I need your advise haha

OP posts:
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PhilCornwall1 · 14/12/2019 09:54

Your Dr was definitely out of order and I'd have certainly made my feelings clear to them.

Personally, I'd block on email and phone, but that's me. Alternatively, when she asks personal questions, you could tell her that she's being inappropriate and to stop. I'd also tell her to stop the daily multiple texts. If she didn't, warn her that you'll block her.

The next time you see your Dr, you could tell them that this person has turned into a right pain in the arse.

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Zaphodsotherhead · 14/12/2019 10:01

Can you try responding purely as though you were a medical professional? So if she asks about your day/general life, you just don't answer, or tell her that's not a question you want to answer. If she starts about her condition, ask her questions (so if she says she's not managing, you ask her what she's doing to help herself manage). Put the onus on HER to solve her problems rather than her putting it on you to do so.

Try being absolutely professional. That way you can't (worst case scenario) have the texts used against you in any way. Only ask her questions related to her condition and managing it. If she presses you, tell her that pressure of work means you are scaling back on all communications outside the family. And be strict. Treat her like a teacher would a pupil or a doctor would a patient. No personal information (from you to her).

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Anotheronetwo · 14/12/2019 10:06

I think that you don't need to worry about avoiding being selfish because you've passed the point where the information about your condition that you can provide can help her. She knows about the support group and your experiences with the condition and the treatments available. From what you've said, conversations are repetitive so whatever Susan is getting out of them is not moving her forward in managing her own health. You have given her the information so she can access support. If you don't want to spend the rest of your life messaging Susan every few days there is nothing else you can give her.

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TimeIhadaNameChange · 14/12/2019 10:26

Have you spoken to the doctor about this? I think they should know, esp about her copying your symptoms but also the other stuff. Susan needs more support than you can give her.

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joyfullittlehippo · 14/12/2019 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CakeandCustard28 · 14/12/2019 10:51

I’d just say next time she texts “Susan I don’t mean to be rude but I’m a bit busy right now, we’ll talk at group.” And if she continues texting just keep delaying your replies keep them short and simple don’t leave it open for conversation. If she gets worse and starts texting more I would block her number. She sounds extremely lonely though and could do with more support but of someone qualified.

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Sandra2010 · 14/12/2019 14:22

Ok now she's getting weird! (ha!) Sounds like a 'you' thing rather than a 'lonely' thing. Think you're going to have to get tough and gradually reduce contact.

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WellThisIsShit · 14/12/2019 19:05

What kind of relationship would you like to hat with her? In an ideal world?

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