To be completely hurt over this?

[crystal765]

Sorry I've NC.

DP and I were talking earlier and we had a conversation where he said he was going to drink more but decided against it in the end. I said it annoyed me that he even thought about doing it (would mean potentially putting him over the limit). He then said "it's like saying I thought about having sex with someone which is cheating"

I said it is bad, having those thoughts are still unfair. He then said that he has imagined having sex with other women when we are having sex. He said they're usually celebrities but not sure I believe this.

It is hurtful because I always imagined in the moment someone would be transfixed by me, my body etc.

AIBU and overly sensitive? The idea of having sex with him again is making me feel gross.

He's a dick, and it was an unkind thing to say. However, I think you should just forget it and move on. I agree with Sandra2010, men are different and he just doesn't see how hurtful he has been. They say things then forget about it, while women often tend to stew over what has been said. Put it behind you - BUT don't lose weight for him or anything silly like that, and if that becomes an issue then he's not the right man for you.

Sorry that sounds harsh, just you seem so lovely and I hate to think of you being lumbered for life with a pig when I feel you deserve so much better. But Sending you lots of love 💕

But, how can you have sex with him again? Hed have to take it all back and swear he’s thinking about you, which doesn’t seem his style. And how can you plan a family when getting pregnant means you put on weight and he won’t be attracted to you then? Its not that easy to lose the weight after and it must be much harder when baby’s dad is an unsupportive twat, which is how he comes across.

Wow HellFrom, how awful.
I am very sorry for your loss.

There are some things you just don’t tell a partner unless you are CERTAIN that they’ll get off on it because they like the thought of you with other people etc etc It’s not going to be easy for him to back peddle from this - I think I’d struggle to forget it tbh. Perhaps the drink just made him thoughtless.