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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go?

29 replies

Patchworkquilt24 · 13/12/2019 18:49

DH is in town at the pub with four work mates. All men. I kind of want to go out because I've been confining myself to the house recently and the alternative is an evening alone but I don't know the work mates very well and they're all men. Would you go?

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 13/12/2019 18:51

Yeap. In an instance!

toodlethenoodle · 13/12/2019 18:52

Are you invited? Yes I would go!

TheCanyon · 13/12/2019 18:52

If I was invited, absolutely I'd be there already.

Mamalicious16 · 13/12/2019 18:53

Sure! I've just had a shower and done my hair - is it smart or casual?

thistimelastweek · 13/12/2019 18:54

Why not?

LoonyLunaLoo · 13/12/2019 18:55

If I felt like they actually wanted me there, I would.

PlinkPlink · 13/12/2019 19:06

Hell yeah!

I'd love to go out with my OH's work mates! One day I will but for now, I stay at home with the little one when he goes out (DS only falls asleep on the boon which makes me pretty important to the sleeping process 🙄).

speakout · 13/12/2019 19:12

No right answer here. If you would like to then yes of course.

Why are you confined to the house?

Do you want to go? then go.
Not my thing drinking beer with a bunch of men ( would have been years ago perhaps), but my view is not important.

Do you have your own activities/friends/interests that you enjoy?

My idea of self nurture is a 7am yoga class, but I know that is not for everyone!

charm8ed · 13/12/2019 19:20

I’d prefer a night out with my girlfriends.

ohprettybaby · 13/12/2019 19:26

Do his friends want you there? I know I'm always welcome to go out with DH and his work colleagues but don't go as I don't want to change the Dynamics of the all-male group.

Original poster
Patchworkquilt24 · 13/12/2019 19:30

Id much prefer a night out with the girls but this is my only option tonight. I don't really get invited anywhere normally.

OP posts:
Original poster
Patchworkquilt24 · 13/12/2019 19:31

I'm invited by DH but it's a "you're welcome to come" kind of thing.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 13/12/2019 19:35

I'd go; I bet it would be the kind of night that would be far more fun than you imagined

steff13 · 13/12/2019 19:35

Do you ever invite the girls out?

I wouldn't go on a "you're welcome to come," invite.

KarmaStar · 13/12/2019 20:53

Depends on the way he said you're welcome but usually that's not a genuine welcome to join.
If you're not keen don't go,use the time to make some plans with your friends,don't wait for life to come to you,invite them out.

Pfefferkuchen · 13/12/2019 21:00

the fact they are all men is completely irrelevant to me. They are just people.

It's the fact that they are all work mates that would bother me, feels too much like gatecrashing. I would find it rather weird if any of my colleagues' partner suddenly decided to turn up when we are out for a drink.

Original poster
Patchworkquilt24 · 13/12/2019 22:08

I went. It was okay. Normally a couple of the girlfriends/wives go but they were at home with their babies tonight.

It did feel a bit like I was gatecrashing, lots of work chat and also some derogatory comments towards me as I was the only woman.

OP posts:
Heartburn888 · 13/12/2019 22:20

I hope you made some comments back.

My partners friends a little bit like this but ya all just a laugh and you need to be able to give it back as well as take it.

Glad you went though hope you had a good time!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/12/2019 22:23

Nope I’d leave my husband to it

MyKingdomForBrie · 13/12/2019 22:25

some derogatory comments towards me umm what?! I hope you told them to piss off and your dh backed you up.

nameymcnamechangeagain · 13/12/2019 22:43

We don’t go out with them much anymore but I was always the only girl on my nights out with dp, I think I’m considered “one of the lads” I love it. Never have been one for female company (not that I don’t crave it!) I love a night out with the boys and am often the one cracking jokes and laughing my dp under the table 😂 if he don’t mind you being there why not??

Original poster
Patchworkquilt24 · 13/12/2019 22:58

I think next time I'll leave him to it!

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 13/12/2019 23:10

I felt he invited you out of politness. I wouldn't have gone.

Original poster
Patchworkquilt24 · 13/12/2019 23:20

I just couldn't face another evening alone.

OP posts:
vivacian · 14/12/2019 04:08

It sounds as though that’s something you should address in a different way. Their company doesn’t sound much fun.