Friend coming for Christmas who has recently turned omnivorous

[SproutsAreForLife]

Now, I am not one of those vegans who can't contemplate a meal with no veg, but I have a friend who's recently turned omnivorous and I have no clue what to give them for Christmas lunch.

I looked at the omnivore aisle at the supermarket but I have no experience of preparing omnivore food. WIBU to make a chicken risotto, as I'm not sure if omnivores eat potatoes and veg. Can they have mushroom en croute?

TO be honest I think it's just a fad.

. You got me OP

I could see that it was one of those 'lighthearted' threads, but honestly this is why this sort of thing should be kept to Chat. Let everyone on AIBU be miserable over politics or falling for the latest made up bollocks about mother in laws or teenagers in peace.

OP- the only polite thing it for you to be omnivorous for the day too. Otherwise you are forcing your food choices on other people. There’s nothing stopping you being an omnivore, after all......

Although, dis you know plants let out a scream when they get cut? I'm not sure what vegans will live off from now on

Well it made me laugh OP

Omnivores are simple to cater for as they can eat vegan or vegetarian food, just as easily they can eat turkey or pork belly. Just cook what you normally would .

@ManiacalLapwing the thing is I like to be hospitable, so will take the earlier suggestion and buy a piglet to roast. I will probably have to put it on a spit, because it won't fit in the oven.

Is your friend a dinosaur?

Just make a nice vegan meal but pass round a bowl of hamsters between courses

“ Just make a nice vegan meal but pass round a bowl of hamsters between courses”

Ooh- how do your prepare your hamsters? I usually just deep fry them and serve them with dips like everyone else does but I’d love some new ideas!

Those threads are getting annoying.

I suggest you find the most expensive, weirdest thing in the omnivore aisle. Do ensure that it's something the rest of the family wouldn't touch with a bargepole even if it was a vegan item, and don't forget that you shouldn't give them a single item of your normal vegan meal (even if some omnivores do commonly eat your vegan foods.)
Next, and this bit is absolutely essental, do not under any circumstances forget to make a massive fuss about it all! You do seem to be making an effort on that front, but I think you really could be panicking more, so please keep trying

You mean CARNIVORE, OP. Carnivore. Your friend has gone carnivore.

Except I know this isn't real, but having been veggie most of my life (currently omni though) it's good to see it written from the opposite view for a change - people don't realise how dumb they sound when they can't accommodate veggies or vegans. It's so. Fucking. Simple.

Ooh- how do your prepare your hamsters? I usually just deep fry them and serve them with dips like everyone else does but I’d love some new ideas!

We have several dwarf hamsters on kebabs. Interspaced with field mice.

Perhaps you could craft some meat and dairy products into the shape of vegetables so they can feel like they're joining in?

You know the sort of thing: Sage Derby shaped into balls to look like sprouts; lumps of pork torched in places to look like roast potatoes (cooking them in goose fat is a nice touch) etc.

And I've always found that goldfish can look just like slivers of carrot and make a fun talking point over lunch!

What about this 'turkey', they will not be able to tell the difference.

Would have been more fun if you had said friend had gone carnivore.

I would definitely be withdrawing the invite then as you wouldn't need to worry about what to feed said friend - you would be the main course.

“ Perhaps you could craft some meat and dairy products into the shape of vegetables so they can feel like they're joining in?”
That’s such a good idea! Like bean burgers only made out of meat?

Bean burgers made out of meat? How is that possible, do you have a recipe Bertram? Would I need to leave the beans out? What sort of meat? I really need something quick and easy as I am far too busy to spend any actual time on this.

@CornishMaid1 that would be cannibal rather than carnivore 😂

Unless the OP is a turkey of course 🦃

I speed-read this and thought you had an ominous friend coming.

You mean CARNIVORE, OP. Carnivore. Your friend has gone carnivore.

Surely a carnivore is someone who only eats meat?

@MayFayner That's not nice. Cannibals are carnivores too - they just like nibbling their own species.

You need to be careful or the Cannibals Support Group will have to start a protest for OP's friend's right to eat OP for Christmas lunch

Either that or OP's friend is a T-Rex (dinosaur not the group) in which case that is really cool, OP has to invite the friend for Christmas and I want to come and see the dinosaur too!

Like bean burgers only made out of meat?

Ooh, clever!
Maybe cauliflower steaks or nut cutlets made with... umm... er....
You know, I'm not sure.

I wonder if you could shape mashed hard-boiled eggs into a steak or cutlet shape?

Little Billy Goat? Trip trap trip trap.....................delicious.