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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nativity photos - Solitary photos of my child.

64 replies

cjt110 · 12/12/2019 14:33

I have photos from my son's nativity this AM. All lovely and with others in. I will clearly NOT share them for safeguarding reasons. This has been asked by the school too. We cannot share them on social media/email whatsapp etc.

I have a photograph of my son, before the nativity, sat on the steps, just him with no one else in the photo. It's a beautiful photo with the church alter behind him and the stained glass windows...

He is in costume too so you couldn't even identify his school.

I would really like to share this with family members who won't be able to see the photo on my phone but this means sharing - by whatsapp or facebook - and I don't know where I stand on it.

I asked a friend and she said it was "My call" Another said it's your child, share what you like.

School said that there are photos to be published of the children, in dress rehearsal at school, on the website.

So I suppose my Q is WIBU to share a photo of my son, with no-one else at all in the photo, and perhaps some of the dress rehearsal photos too which are publicly available on the schools website?

I;m in 2 minds. School said no sharing. But it's my child and there is no-one else in the photo. But then again, school said no sharing...

OP posts:
Honeybee85 · 12/12/2019 15:10

If it’s only your child in the photo, why not?
I assume the school has no copy right over the photos and they don’t decide if parents post pictures of their own child online ffs.

Littlemeadow123 · 12/12/2019 15:11

I dont see a problem with sharing just a photo of just your son. But if you are worried about it send pics to family via facebook messenger that way it isnt public.

JoGose · 12/12/2019 15:13

YADNBU, as long as there are. I other children in it, then there isn’t anything wrong with it

Sandaled · 12/12/2019 15:15

It's good you're being cautious OP, some people don't realise the danger of sharing photos on social media as it could put some children in danger. In this case though I would say as it's just your son I can't see an issue.

cantfindname · 12/12/2019 15:15

You're fine. My FB feed was covered with single photos of children in their Nativity costumes last night. Only one had another child in it and the other child had been carefully blocked out.

G/son does a very niche hobby and there are often pics of him and his friends put up. OTOH the parents are all so protective of their children and all the others you really wouldn't want to cross them, even if you managed to get into the venue.

Vercingetorixraktavija · 12/12/2019 15:23

I can't believe you are thinking this as school matter, if he is the only one in the photo, without school uniform. It's at your own risk. School said no sharing of photo that include other children, not the photo of your dc, if he is the only one in it, providing no one in the background, I think it's totally fine.

fedupdaddy101 · 12/12/2019 15:24

@cjt110 seriously, if you have to ask this I think you need to seek someone to speak to. Its your child do as you like. This PC culture is bloody insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 12/12/2019 15:27

'tis better to ask forgiveness than permission

WTAF?? What a stupid saying

Yanbu OP. It's fine to post it

OlaEliza · 12/12/2019 15:27

I;m in 2 minds. School said no sharing. But it's my child and there is no-one else in the photo. But then again, school said no sharing...

I'd share it.

Original poster
cjt110 · 12/12/2019 15:27

The comment was "Please do not share photos on social media or online" Clearly I know the reason behind but that was the phrase. Hence why I am asking if i'd be daft to share a solitary photo. I wouldnt like to upset or offend anyone

OP posts:
fligglepige · 12/12/2019 15:28

Post it and set privacy settings for everyone but friends who might report back to the school.

JacquesHammer · 12/12/2019 15:28

Don’t overthink it for a moment OP. I wish more parents were cautious and thought things through than the alternative!

SunshineAngel · 12/12/2019 15:29

Why can you share the photos the school have taken and not the ones you've taken? I don't understand that.

But 100%, if only your child is in this particular photo, share it as far and wide as you wish :).

Original poster
cjt110 · 12/12/2019 15:30

@SunshineAngel Yes, this is also my thinking. I can only assume, and have garnered from similar posts that any children at risk are removed from the photos - as in don't take part?

OP posts:
OneDay10 · 12/12/2019 15:31

I would share it without thinking twice. And why are they publishing it on their website where it can easily be shared?

Pinkblueberry · 12/12/2019 15:32

I don’t understand why you think this wouldn’t be allowed.

Original poster
cjt110 · 12/12/2019 15:32

@OneDay10 See above^

OP posts:
Pinkblueberry · 12/12/2019 15:34

And why are they publishing it on their website where it can easily be shared?

If parents don’t want their children’s photos on there the school will know, they usually send out letters and ask to be updated on this. Parents who take pictures at a nativity obviously don’t know who those children are, so are asked not to.

Original poster
cjt110 · 12/12/2019 15:35

Good reply @Pinkblueberry.

OP posts:
1066vegan · 12/12/2019 15:37

I'm a primary school teacher and would definitely say that it's fine to share as you've checked so carefully that no other children are in the photo. The way it was phrased was ambiguous, but the Head would have meant not to share photos of other people's children.

Thank you for asking us. It's lovely that you're taking the issue seriously. Unfortunately, many parents don't think, ignore the requests and share pictures that do include other people's children. As a pp said, this can cause serious problems if there are good reasons for not sharing a particular child's photo eg if a violent estranged parent is looking for them and doesn't know their current school or address (sounds a bit melodramatic but it happens).

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/12/2019 15:38

Our school just ask that we don't share pictures of other people's dc on social media. We can do what we like with pictures of our own

MinTheMinx · 12/12/2019 15:38

You're asking if you can share a photo of your own son with family members? Thank you for confirming the world has indeed gone mad.

Equanimitas · 12/12/2019 15:39

He's in a christmas jumper sat on the steps in front of the alter with the stained glass window lit up behind him. I have scoured to double, triple and hundred time check there is nothing identifying. Other than his yellow collar from his polo shirt peeking out you'd have no idea

In that case, so far as the Head's concerned you could have taken the photo at any time, it has nothing to do with the nativity, and therefore is none of her business.

Original poster
cjt110 · 12/12/2019 15:40

@1066vegan Thank you for your kind reassurance.

OP posts:
mummumumumumumumumumum · 12/12/2019 15:41

the ones on the school website would have had any protected child removed. My DD class photo is sent out to everyone and then they send me one out with my DD on too, the others dont get that version

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