To ask what your teenage life was like?

[Laraloodoo]

Following a thread where I was told my teenage behaviour was abnormal by many’s standards I’m interested in all the different experiences we had growing up as teenagers.

My teenage years were normal (for my world). School, shopping, parties, cinema etc. A bit of light underage drinking that I'm sure parents were very aware of.
I didn't have a brilliant time socially, i wasn't "cool" so while I had friends I was always somewhat on the edge of groups, prone to get left out more often than not, which left me underconfident for years.

Then I realised in my 20s it was better not to give a shit and now I just have a few good friends I really value.

Not the shoplifting so much, but definitely clubbing, underage drinking, dabbling in some drugs, sex, parties and following bands around when I said I was elsewhere. I hope my dd doesn’t turn out like me 😂

We’re all different. Not everyone’s teen years were an episode of Skins but some were.

Lots of gigs, lots of drinking, pissing about in fields and stuff with friends. Going out into dirty rock clubs underage and snogging unsuitable boys (men?). I also did a fair bit of shoplifting, to my shame. But I wasn't 'off the rails' as such - I did well in my A Levels and was reasonably well behaved at home!

At school I was a fairly quiet, very academic and reasonably sporty kid. I had a smallish group of close friends and most people seemed to like me well enough but I wasn't in the cool popular crowd and no boys interested whatsoever- I was filed under " geek". Sixth form was a transition stage and by University I'd blossomed socially somewhat (probably just a case of finding more people like me) and I made a lot of friends and had a lot of fun.

Despite being a swot, I did find time for some underage drinking and once went to Birmingham to see the Levellers without my mum knowing. Also once randomly skipped school to go to Wimbledon (most middle class skive ever- ha ha). Drugs never really featured in my social group.

Terrible! Like others here, was raised in a very dysfunctional family, my father is a raging narcissist without an ounce of empathy or remorse; my mum was loving and kind but enabled him. She got cancer when I was 17 and died when I was 19.

Was bullied from an early age for my looks so always had terrible self-esteem. Self-harmed from about 14. Absolutely hated myself. Looking back was probably very seriously depressed and am angry my parents didn't spot any signs (my father used to just shout at me for being grumpy as opposed to wondering why or showing any concern). Started drinking at 17 and had a very tricky relationship with alcohol for many years. At 17 had a very questionable relationship with a man aged 34.... Who slept with me and then broke up with me. Ugh. My parents found out and never spoke about it again other than to check I wasn't pregnant and wouldn't be bringing shame upon the family.

Have since realised (though wasn't aware at the time) that I had some sexual trauma when I was a young child, which may explain why I was so depressed and had so much shame and self-loathing (in addition to being bullied at school and at home of course!)

I spent a lot of time in my room reading and dreaming of the life I'm living today. Not many people in my life know this stuff about me and would be so surprised, as I present as very together, competent, successful and happy!

I couldn't think about my teenage self for a decade without feeling all that self-hatred and shame and disgust. I blamed everything on her. Now I have so much compassion for her, and do what I can to make sure she feels safe and loved.

Well, this was therapeutic!

40s now. Very mixed teenage years. I was quiet, some would describe as “bookish”, I didn’t hang out on street corners or do drugs. And l was happily sexually active with boyfriends of similar age from 14/15.

I am seeing a pattern on this thread - the drinkers having sex were not happy; we teetotal virgins had a good time and did well.

Even as a former teetotal virgin I find that comment insufferably smug and sanctimonious.

My teen years were horrendous, despite being reasonably studious, not touching drugs or alcohol or having anything to do with boys. I was bullied, lonely, overwhelmed, anxious and unhappy.

It was having sex that kept me happy and the reason life was good. Sex kept me on the straight and narrow.

I spent a lot of time reading, visiting art galleries, doing photography related stuff, going to protests, having picnics, going to music festivals (friendly hippy vibe no hard drugs) until eventually getting married at the very end of my teens. The wildest thing that happened to me was accidentally ending up at a socialist rally. Definitely no shop lifting.

Pretty dull and standard. A bit low much of the time. Homework, music, orchestra, youth club, bools. In the 6th form a couple of parties with alcohol. No drugs. Little alcohol. No smoking (Never figured out why you would...) Just a regular kind of life.

Quite isolated. Grew up in rural Ireland and went to a convent school from 9-6 every day. My mum didn't work but she didn't like supervising homework so I sat in a long hall with 40 other kids doing homework in silence for two hours after school throughout my teens. We lived rurally and there weren't any footpaths out near us so you wouldn't walk to town from there. I got a lift to school and back but my parents didn't approve of "hanging around town" so I was free to walk the dog to the river and back but that was it. Friends were rarely invited over, it was too far to get there without a scheduled play date and nothing to do really. I hated school, didn't have many friends due to being a) academic and b) the kind of child who only had one close friend at a time anyway and struggled to connect with others. Went to uni at 17 and never looked back.

I was a bit wild I think in my later teens. Oldest of 4 and my parents both religious & teachers . When I hit about 16 and got a job in a local shop I met loads of new friends and went out drinking & partying all the time locally as we looked older we could get in to most of the pubs. Then hit uni and carried on the same pattern I think my poor mum was demented with me. Coming in at all hours when she was trying to get younger kids to sleep. Didn't have a boyfriend till I was 18 then had several plus quite a few one night wonders. Met my now DH when I was 22 and got married at 25 so calmed down a bit then but I loved it at the time. My own son he is very sensible in comparison he is 15 don't think drinking to excess is the in thing these days x

It was great. Loads of parties great social life lots of freedom , uni and travelling. Very lucky

Slightly wild and erratic. Looking back I was lost and desparate to be liked despite being very unlikeable.
From age 14, smoking, drugs, dickhead boyfriends, shoplifting, drinking and skipping school.
My fairly strict parents didn't know the half of it.
Somehow, I passed my GSCEs ok and wanted to get a job and move out, but no, my parents insisted I do A Levels and go to Uni, more drinking, smoking and failing my A Levels culminated in an very serious overdose.
It feels like a strange and different time, especially now my DCs are almost teens but I have a full understanding of how awful a time it can be.

God awful. Very ill and weak from the age of 11 onwards, considered a 'weird kid' because I had flat effect and no energy for anything. Fell over a lot, lots of mysterious aches and pains, misdiagnosed with autism in my late teens to explain away the emotional and psychological effects of my illness. Got into relationships with boys because I didn't think I could say no. No drugs, no alcohol, no bad behaviour except not doing my homework because too exhausted.

My illness was finally diagnosed this year. I'm 36 now.

The best years. Had loads of friends. Would've gone out every night of the week if I could. Used to drink in Camden in the mid 90s at 14/15. Started going to festivals around the same time. Worked in Ibiza for a couple of summers aged 17/18 - one huge rave. It was brilliant. Now, life's dull in comparison.

MySqueeHasBeenSeverelyHarshed glad you finally got your answer though

Low self esteem, no confidence, trigged of the future. Lots of drink and drugs.

Terrified of the future

I stayed very “young” and immature until I was 15 (still played with my friends on the swings in the park and watched movies at sleepovers whilst eating popcorn.

Then at 15 I discovered boys and alcohol and grew up a lot overnight! I didn’t really get into trouble and still tried at school, but went out both nights every weekend, snogging boys and downing a lot of vodka shots!

I loved both parts of my teenage years but did suffer with anxiety and fought with my mum quite a lot. (We get on great now, since my mid-twenties)

I certainly didn’t do drugs or steal. My parents raised me better than that. I went to the occasional house party with permission, had loads of fun. My mum always knew where I was

Not good.

a (what I thought typical) middle class girl who went about doing stupid things like shoplifting and raving in fields on different drugs without thinking of the implications my actions had on others.

I don't think that is in any way typical, but it comes up on threads all the time, that we (as society) tend to mix with 'people like us', so I guess you were mixing with other people who were doing that.

My teenage years were 'normal to me'. School, homework, going out occasionally. Yes, it was easier to go to the pub under age than it is now, but drugs weren't commonly about.

I think this thread is going to attract people with 'a story' though - bit like looking in 'Relationships' - people don't post there if they just get along fine, with no angst and no drama. This thread is going to be a bit like that.

13 - bullied at school and home, desperately unhappy and depressed. Grandfather dying when I was 12 had put paid to my plans of moving in with him, changing to the local secondary, looking after him, getting a job at one of the local stables or farms and not having to put up with abusive parent anymore.
14-16 - parent took to her bed with a bad back, never saw her unless she made a special trip downstairs to shout abuse at me, got a part time job and applied to college because she couldn't physically stop me and I forged her signature on the application, went to friends after school a lot, came back, made food (including for her, took it upstairs, put it on side and went back downstairs again), watched movies all night, got to clean the house (as she certainly didn't want it clean), brilliant time.
16 - her spinal operation was a success, so she was back downstairs and resumed the bullying and abuse now she could stand up long enough to hit me. Not allowed out other than school or work. Utter shit. Wasn't a thug, so didn't wallop the bitch back because I'd have flattened her. Started making concrete plans to get the fuck out and away from her.
17 - had got myself a crappy boyfriend to keep me out of the house. Not at home address to be hit as often, so improved life, but then vulnerable to his moods and dislike for college, especially because she cut off all food because I wasn't 'paying my way' and the child related benefits weren't enough for her
18 - much of the same. Left college, got job, job ended, she demanded all but £5 of dole money so I didn't have anything with which to move out or get another job. Or enough to eat. Spent more time with crappy boyfriend, as he had free access to food.
19 - another job. Shit pay but saving like mad to get the fuck out, go to university and leave crap boyfriend and shitty parent behind.
19.5 - found out I was 18 weeks pregnant despite being on the Pill. Hadn't ever particularly wanted to sleep with crappy boyfriend, but hey, I had to pay for food and heating somehow, didn't I? Fucking disaster, but at least the council housed me (had been informed that I either got a late term abortion or I signed the baby over to her and she kept it and the resulting child related benefits - not fucking happening) and I had money of my own for the first time.

What's funny is from the outside, written on paper people would assume kids like me didn't have it great.

My DM was a single mum, we lived on a council estate that had fridges and sofas outside and people sitting on their doorstep but it was great. Youth clubs from around 10. Local park we were allowed to play in. Then teen years the kids on the estate still remained friends (probably intimidating to passers by 20 kids hanging around) but we didn't get up to much illegal stuff until around 15. Some went off the rails but our group had sneaky drinks, smoked cheap fags and spent hours in each other's houses dressing up to meet others etc. Then the usual club/pub drinking from about 17. I "settled down" quite young meeting my DP at 19 so nothing too crazy. Did well at school, could have done better but 15 year old me was more interested in boys and social life unfortunately. Home life we were warm, fed and loved. DM had her struggles but we never really knew about it.