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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your teenage life was like?

127 replies

Laraloodoo · 12/12/2019 13:44

Following a thread where I was told my teenage behaviour was abnormal by many’s standards I’m interested in all the different experiences we had growing up as teenagers.

OP posts:
hiredandsqueak · 12/12/2019 17:08

Mine was full of angst. Mother terminally ill so took on her care and upkeep of house at fifteen then her death and took on care of three younger siblings. Suffered PTSD as a result. Never smoked or took drugs and drank very little. Much happier at fifty than I ever was at fifteen.

SallyWD · 12/12/2019 17:11

I had a happy home life but was very shy and teased at school. I started drinking at 14 (most of my friends did) so my teenage years were very drunken.

AllTheStuffing · 12/12/2019 17:13

Of course, Xenia. You were better, smarter, more virtuous and most, importantly RIGHT, as you always are Wink.

myidentitymycrisis · 12/12/2019 17:20

that sounds rather smug

myidentitymycrisis · 12/12/2019 17:20

Xenia

SallyWD · 12/12/2019 17:21

@xenia I started drinking at 14 (which I'm not saying is good. It was too young). I didn't have sex until I was 19 and had been with my long term boyfriend for many months.

VanyaHargreeves · 12/12/2019 17:24

Xenia I'm pleased for you that your teenage years were happy but the end of your post is very nasty and smug.

There are people here posting about child sexual abuse and rape and you're posting "it was so good to be a virgin"

Read the fucking room why don't you?

formerbabe · 12/12/2019 17:26

I am seeing a pattern on this thread - the drinkers having sex were not happy; we teetotal virgins had a good time and did well

Or perhaps had nicer, more supportive family to help stop you going off the rails?

Xenia · 12/12/2019 17:28

Yes, I can see that not everyone has a choice about drinking and having sex in their teens and of course some people are abused. It is a horrible start for them. I really just saying for the future, for your own children, if you can ensure they don't drink and don't have sex when they are teenagers so much the better.

PanicAndRun · 12/12/2019 17:30

I am seeing a pattern on this thread - the drinkers having sex were not happy; we teetotal virgins had a good time and did well.

Yeah being emotionally and physically abused by my mother and having several sexual assaults under my belt by the time i was 14 didn't make for a very happy teen.

The drinking and sex were my outlets rather than the reason for my unhappiness.

Roselilly36 · 12/12/2019 17:32

Bloody awful, emotionally abusive mother, couldn’t wait to leave home at 18.

myidentitymycrisis · 12/12/2019 17:33

Xenia thinks that no boyfriends and no drinking is the 'usual stuff'.
I think the theme I am getting from this thread is that it is very typical to try those things out in your teenage years, in fact I would be more worried if a teen wasn't experimenting with who they might be. It 's perhaps quite unusual to be the swot and the odd one out.

ballroompink · 12/12/2019 17:40

Not very exciting, often quite sad!

Grew up in the sticks so there wasn't much to do other than going shopping or going to the park. Cinema once we got old enough to be trusted to travel the half hour there on the bus! I was a very straight-laced, anxious, perfectionist academic kid who got straight As and outside the classroom did choir, youth orchestra, etc. I was however quite badly bullied at times and had very low self-esteem and social anxiety. I used to spend a lot of time writing angsty diary entries and crying. I had a stable home life but wasn't very close to my parents and felt very misunderstood and as if they didn't understand my mental health stuff.

Sixth form - still worked hard but discovered parties, going out etc. although we were all pretty well-behaved really. Nothing more than getting drunk and being silly!

thiscouldbethehill · 12/12/2019 17:46

I was lucky. I had a great home life and mostly enjoyed school. I was very into riding so spent most of my time up the stables until I was about 16/17. I had a solid group of friends who I used to go to the pub with but it was all pretty well behaved. Went to Uni at 18, had a lovely time, lots of drinking, socialising and a fair bit of weed but nothing harder.

joCmummy · 12/12/2019 17:50

I was probably a total conundrum. I was the girl that always did her homework on time, loved learning but listened to rock music and wasn't picked on because apparently I had a temper! Had few proper friends and tried to avoid the In Girls who could be a bit bitchy. Spent most of my teenage years up to my eyes in mud playing with my BFF who happened to be a horse 😁. I know I was very lucky to have said pony, but my dad still says it's the best thing he ever did buying him because he ALWAYS knew where I was and I earned and spent every penny (and spare second I had) I had on him. Still have horses in my life (and am subsequently broke 😂😂) but I hope to hell my girls are horsey and I can afford to do it for them.

TooManyHeadaches · 12/12/2019 17:51

Hell! So glad I'm past all that !

Daisychainsandglitter · 12/12/2019 17:54

Loved it. I was slim, I was a rock chick and had cool clothes and brightly coloured hair with enormous flares that soaked the water up to my knees when it was raining.
I could be found underage drinking in the pubs around town from around 16 and what was known as indie night was the highlight of the month for me as well as hanging around all of the alternative hangouts in town.
Lots of sitting around in the park with my friends and was very happy.
I also loved school but didn't have to try too hard to get decent grades. The ages of 15-19 were the best times of my life!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/12/2019 17:55

A nightmare. I was appallingly shy and anxious.
Everyone else seemed so pouty and confident. They were probably more nervous than me, though.

PanicAndRun · 12/12/2019 18:00

Oh and despite all the drinking and sex I did quite well in school, had good grades overall and got really good results overall, then went to uni. So good in fact it shocked some of my teachers and my mother.

RobertSmithdoesmyhair · 12/12/2019 18:06

Loved loved loved my teens and early 20s. Drugs, all night raves in fields that we travelled to in backs of vans. No idea where we were most of the time! Travelled and lived between Manchester and London, squatting and sharing houses with lots of people. I miss those days!

Infamy · 12/12/2019 18:06

Mine was awful too. Boarding school and was bullied. Parents were divorced and constantly warring. Rarely went home and didn’t have a room at home in any case - slept on the sofa in the holidays.

I developed depression, an eating disorder and major self harm issues. Spent a long time as an inpatient in a mental health unit and my dad died.

My twenties were better!

namechangetheworld · 12/12/2019 18:16

Shit to be honest. Horrible, stifling Stately Homes upbringing, so I was terrified of putting a foor out of place and upsetting my parents. Went to a stuffy, prestigious Grammar school where I knew nobody, was classed as one of the thick ones, had zero self confidence, was bullied hideously by a particular group of boys (which I never told anyone about as my parents simply wouldn't have believed me) and made very few friends. Almost all friendships dwindled once I started sixth form as most others were allowed to go to house parties and to certain pubs and clubs - my DM wouldn't even let me go clothes shopping unsupervised. Had a boyfriend at 16 for three years but he was an arsehole who was constantly chasing after other girls and left me completely emotionally crippled. Spent all of my time listening to emo music in my bedroom and watching films. Was pushed into going to Uni even though I wasn't particularly bothered, still had zero confidence, and hated almost every minute.

I blossomed once I started full time work, bought a house, married and had children and am now very happy although slightly jealous that so many Mumsnetters had such rock n roll teenage years

Mintjulia · 12/12/2019 18:21

Dull. Aggressive misogynistic father so me & 4 sisters spent most of our time keeping out of his way. Free school meals family so no extras. The day I left home was the best Smile
Life has improved steadily ever since Smile

LilyJade · 12/12/2019 18:21

I had depression, a breakdown, developed an eating disorder & was hospitalised before my GCSES so only took 4. Took 2 more GCSEs in sixth form but failed my 2 a levels.

After that learnt to type, got a job in an office, spent my money on drum n bass & house music, went to the pub & to parties with mates until age 20 & beyond.

missyB1 · 12/12/2019 18:25

Mine was stressful. My dad was terminally ill from when I was 11, I often had to take days off school because he wasn’t safe to be in his own. Mum had to work full time to our food on the table. Because mum was stressed and tired she was very difficult to live with and she and I had horrific fights. I remember feeling very depressed for most of my teen years. Dad died when I was 16.

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