to just want to cut her off?

[bakabakabeyond]

Really awful situation. Fled from my ex with my son. Moved 200 miles away. Lots of domestic abuse. His brother's girlfriend was close to and very much loved my son. We referred to her as aunty. I moved away when my son was 3 months old. She has split up from my exes brother. Our contact has dwindled and I am useless at responding to messages. It's just not possible to see her often. I like her but she's 10 years younger than me (and I'm in my 20s) and we just have very different priorities in life. She's obviously upset I've moved away, but I needed to be with my family. I think she's the type of person who likes to text and talk all the time. I'm a single mum with a full time job. I just don't have time. Is it awful that I don't really think of her as an aunty? And don't feel the need to keep in touch? It was her and her partner that used the aunty title. I'm feeling guilty.

No one needs to carry on with a friendship if they don't want to.

She has split up from my exes brother.

How sure of this are you? Could it be that she's serving as a conduit of information for your abusive ex? If only for this possibility I'd cool the friendship.

Can’t you find a middle ground?
You don’t have to text her every day, but keep in touch now and then and she’s welcome to visit you in your new home. Or you can meet up when you’re near her place.

YANBU, just cut her off.

Aren't you worried she might unwittingly or even deliberately give away where you are, if she is a bit...unsavvy?
Could you tell her your legal team have advised you to cease contact with anyone who knows exP?

She’s a teenager, they’re pretty much all self absorbed. I’m sure she doesn’t have sinister intentions. If you really don’t want her in your life block her number, I wouldn’t personally have handed her your address.

She probably likes you, enjoyed spending time with you and wants to keep the contact going. She may also be concerned about you. All the messages are her way of saying that. Okay, they are getting on your nerves, but the intention is not bad.

I think blocking her would be unkind. I would send her a message saying that you are very busy and don't have time to reply all the time but thanks for the concern, and then ignore the messages for a while. Tail it off gradually and she will lose interest.

This is far too intense. I don't think you should feel obliged to stay in touch with her, if it's making you feel uncomfortable. I would block her tbh.

Oh at 19 just send her one text saying you don’t want to continue the relationship. Or block her.

I thought she was 13!

If you are not comfortable with it then just stop contact.

You have more than enough to deal with, you now live 200 miles away, she is no longer going out with your ex bil and she is not related to you or your son. How likely is it you will ever see her again?

Don’t feel bad you’ve got to put yourself first.

Completely missing the point but 29 isnt mid twenties

The op says 20s.

I thought she was 13!

Bit worrying to be someone's gf at that age.

she only knew your son for 3 months so she can't be that close to him... the feeling will certainly not be neutral . it sounds risky to maintain contact tbh if you are fleeing domestic abuse.

a young girl i'd just not respond if i didn't want to. some people do just want their phone to be pinging 24hr a day!

OP, you sound as if you have a huge amount going on.

I would send her the following text :

" Hi X, I hope you are well. Baby is doing very well. Thank you for your good wishes. Unfortunately I am under a lot of pressure, both in and out of work.
I have very limited time and energy, so will not be able to stay in touch.
I wish you the very best, going forward".

And block.
Do not give it another thought.
Your absolute priority is your baby and yourself.

💐

"She probably likes you, enjoyed spending time with you and wants to keep the contact going."

But if Op doesn't want to, that's fine.

She's her exes brother's ex!

I like billy’s message.

Be straight forward. Let her know and then block.

She only knew your DC for three months, she’s being over intense and needy - you don’t owe her anything and in fact you owe yourself and your DC a fresh start.

She'll get over it if you cut contact, she'll find someone else to latch on to.

If you block her, how would she know? Then you could just text her with the odd platitude now and then if you felt like it.

I know you felt that you were under orders from your ex to be friendly with her, and I think you are still carrying some of that need to appease him and that's why you haven't actually blocked her yet.

He is no longer the boss of you.
You no longer need to appease him or obey him.
He doesn't care about whether you are continuing the ordered relationship with her as she is presumably way out of his radar - if she still has contact with him then that's all the more reason to cut her off.

So block. He won't come after you for it and nor will she.