to ask you to cheer up mn with your ridiculous things your small

[Samcro]

people say or do?
mine are adults, but i LOVE reading about cute things small people do,

Our ds was about 3 or 4, we had stopped at a service station to use the loo. I was in the cubicle with him while he went then I went afterwards, I sat down on the toilet when he told me to remember to tuck my willy down as that is what we say to him. I did tell him mummy hasn't got a willy to tuck down. It was very funny and embarrassing at the same time. God knows what the lady in the next cubicle thought. 😳

A conversation with my 4yo the other day:

Him: "Mummy, does Santa Claus have a willy?"
Me (caught completely off guard): "Er...yes darling."
Him:"Is it a big willy?"
Me:"I don't know, I've never seen it!"

He also regularly asks me where my willy has gone. "Has it missappeared?" I love that he says missappeared. It makes sense!

This will out me.

DS4 calls skittles S and S's. He won't hear of them being called anything else

He also likes the flimmymangoes at the bird park

My then 5 year old was crying in the bathroom once and told me "I've got tonsillitis in my knickers" 😭

(It was diarrhoea).

My 5yr old keeps singing about the parsnips in the pear tree 😂 I've got to think about it now to say partridge because I automatically go to parsnips after hearing it so much

2 1/2 DS is fascinated by our Christmas lights that are switched on by remote. He will point at them and shout "LIGHTS!" and they magically switch on (remote hidden behind our backs).

My (now grown up) daughter talked about the Christmas desecration’s they’d put up at play group. And the ‘certified psychopath’ they were introduced to on the first day of secondary school. Turned out to be the school psychologist.

DD1 used to call ostriches “‘orse-shits”.
DD2 like to watch “Lilo and Shitch”
DD3 asked to go and see HoHo (Father Christmas)
DD2 used to call the vita at the bottom of a drink “the frintzels” (eg undissolved chocolate powder)

My granddaughter ( aged 4) came to kiss her grandad when she was going home and told him ‘No tongues Granddad!’ We have no idea where she’d go that from!

Her sister, two years older fetched the pumice stone out of the bathroom and asked my husband what it was for. When he explained she promptly scraped across his bare foot with the dry stone. When he winced she said, very seriously, ‘Grandad, you be calm and I’ll be brave!’

It’s a good job he loves them!

My DD (10) comes out with the most hilarious things.

A couple of weeks ago she had gone shopping with my MIL. I told her to keep an eye out for a bra shop as she had been measured and needed a new one. However came home without one.
Me: how come you didn't get a bra
DD: well we went to x shopping centre and there was only a Victoria's Secret there and I didn't want one of them!
Me: well they do some nice bras!
DD: YEAH! If you want to get a boy!! Which I certainly do not!

Literally could not stop laughing!

When I asked her how she was feeling earlier this week she answered with "hmmm fair to middling" 😂

DS (who's now 22) came home and said they were doing a science project and could I help him to research Mariah Carey. Took a while to convince him it was Marie Curie.
DD (who's now 19) asked me to explain what immigration was. I then spent about 15 minutes telling her about family members who have emigrated, the reasons people do and even get dads part in it all (he works for Home Office). She's looking at me with the most confused expression. "But mum what's that got to do with crops and water?" 😂😂. Yep that'll be irrigation 😂

My daughter used to say Bjacket potato. Not sure where the 'B' came from. She used to sing cwinkle cwinkle liddle dar.
She's 5 now and has started saying
'yes your majesty' when I ask her to do something

Another wagamamas one.
My son always ordered cod pubes. I could easily have ordered for him but it was much more fun to let him do it.

When my little son visit me in the hospital after I had my gallbladder removed he announced he was glad he didn't have 'gold ladder'. I asked him what he had instead and he said 'a battery pack'.

He saw his dad welding and must have seen how he nods his head to get his helmet down and so he'd always give his head a nod before he pretended to weld at his play work bench.

He called goggles gobbles and gravel grabble. He was so cute.

My nearly three year old can't say paw patrol so right now he says something that basically sounds like 'arshole' it's hilarious and I'll be sad when he grows out of it.

Whenever we saw an ambulance my toddler son used to say “somebody must be stuck”. He also used to say “bee man” every time we saw a green traffic light.

DS1 used to say he had a drizzly nose if he had a cold

We went camping during the summer which of course involved a bbq. My DS (5) isn’t keen on bbqed sausage or burgers so my husband took him to the supermarket to choose an alternative.
I asked what he’d chosen and he cheerfully declared ‘chicken phillips’ (fillets).
Same DS also overheard hubby and I discussing our very old and unreliable boiler and asked us what a ‘pirate light’ is. We will never refer to it as a pilot light again!

My dd used to ask for a nice cream.

I don't know why this made me laugh so much

My son (who is nearly 27) used to ask if he could watch ‘Usma Tat’ when he was about 3 years old, which was ‘Postman Pat’. Can never forget it We still mention it now, much to his embarrassment.

This afternoon, whilst driving, DD2 (6 months old) started to cry. DD2 (almost 3) started singing nursery rhymes to calm her down. She's been a bit indifferent to her sister until now.

My mother told me about this. It happened back in the 50's when I was about 2 or 3.

I came across my mum's box of sanitary pads and asked her what they were for, she told me they were for sore throats and demonstrated one around her neck. I told her Teddy had a sore throat and she had to put one around Ted's little neck. Teddy wasn't allowed out and about in public when he was suffering a sore throat though - so he didn't spread his Teddy germs to other teddies.

I have 19 month old twins...my girl sits at the top of a slide and claps herself until someone is watching her to go down...the other poor kids wait a lifetime for their turn. And then once someone is watching to say ready steady go she wont go down the slide so my boy then pushes her down (she cries) then he goes down straight after lands on top of her (she cries louder)

I congratulated my 5yr old for (at last) wiping his bum himself. I said “well done you’ve done a brilliant job, you don’t need mummy and daddy to do that anymore”. He replied “no I only wipe my bottom in a Friday”.