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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel that my youth was boring and i lost out somewhere?

29 replies

FishCanFly · 09/12/2019 18:23

When i talk to people who are older than me - they had it really cool and wild in their teenage years. Political activism, crazy partying, sexual adventures - all sorts of fun. Or the younger generation - they also have interesting things going on. I'm in my mid 30's - and looking back - only things from my youth i remember were videogames (which would look sad now) and drinking to the excess. Nothing else. No cool music, memorable events, let alone any political stuff. And i wonder - what went wrong? Did i miss out on stuff, or it it was just boring and uneventful times?

OP posts:

TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom · 09/12/2019 18:24

I think people re-write their youth to highlight the highlights. Most of us spent too long watching TV. That's not story-worthy, so we don't talk about it.

Littlepond · 09/12/2019 18:25

Mid thirties?! Plenty of time for political activism and wild partying yet!!

Pinkarsedfly · 09/12/2019 18:27

I didn’t shag enough. I really regret it.

Married first proper boyfriend and that was a mistake.

Now married to my second, which wasn’t.

I should have chucked the first one and had some fun before finding the second.

Wavingwhiledrowning · 09/12/2019 18:30

People's memories of their 'crazy youth' are just like social media posts now. All totally filtered and exaggerated. They just don't bother telling you about the weeks/months/years of humdrum and normal life stuff that everyone does, and focus on the one day of pizazz. Don't sweat it.
There's a lot to be said for 'boring' anyway!

The80sweregreat · 09/12/2019 18:31

I'm old and my youth was also very boring. Had a few drunken moments( I regret) but mostly it's been quite dull. Never tried drugs.
Didn't sleep around. Played by the rules.
My family are mostly the same.

Original poster

FishCanFly · 09/12/2019 18:33

i feel like i kinda try to compensate (with partying, etc.) but i don't exactly fit with older, or younger generation - we just don't share the same experiences. And people of my own age - ugh, just tv and beer, and gossip (who got married, who got divorced, who got fat)

OP posts:

RuggyPeg · 09/12/2019 18:33

If you're mid 30s, get out there immediately and quickly do all that stuff. I did all that you mentioned and it was fabulous, so get your party gear on and go have a blast.

Loopytiles · 09/12/2019 18:38

You’re generalising, and being judgmental. If you want more events and excitement in your life, do things!

Noflora · 09/12/2019 18:42

I wish I had been wilder but was 'the good one', making up for my older siblings. That dynamic continued far too long too.

Original poster

FishCanFly · 09/12/2019 18:46

They just don't bother telling you about the weeks/months/years of humdrum and normal life stuff that everyone does, and focus on the one day of pizazz.
I don't even have that. i remember, when i was 17, went camping with classmates. And we were just sitting around the fire talking shit and drinking vodka, then went to sleep. Nobody hooked up or anything. Later whole year of memories how Thomas was vomiting, and Emma nearly fell into a ditch. This is how we had fun at 17...

OP posts:

7Worfs · 09/12/2019 18:52

OP, don’t regret your wholesome youth.
I guarantee lots of party animals have more regrets than you.

I don’t care what others think, the most fun I’ve had in my life has been in video games (World of Warcraft and similar).

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 09/12/2019 18:53

Very few people are into political activism and those that are tend to be dull and earnest.

In my youth we didn't sleep around, I went through my teens at the height of the AIDS epidemic, we were shit scared of catching HIV and mostly careful.

I was of the rave generation, so yes there were drugs and impromptu parties, but those were the exception not the rule. We did a lot more sitting round fires drinking (and smoking weed in fairness) than raving in the forest, out our tits on eccies.

People tend to exaggerate how exciting their younger days were. You probably had as much fun as most.

MrOnionsBumperRoller · 09/12/2019 18:58

I'm in my very late 30s and has an awesome disgraceful and debauched time in my youth

Original poster

FishCanFly · 09/12/2019 18:58

OP, don’t regret your wholesome youth.
Wasn't what i could call wholesome either. If at least i had studied hard, or read serious books, or worked, or played sports - nah, just feels like time wasted on nonsense. Videogames i don't regret though, but hours of mindless tv or trashy magazines i do.

OP posts:

QuietCrotchgoblins · 09/12/2019 19:48

YABU. I'm mid 30s and feel like we grew up in the glory days. Pre social media to capture your youthful mistakes. The children of today are under a totally different pressure of climate change and Instagram type pressures. We enjoyed relative stability.

If you want adventure/ drama go out and get it now!

SerenDippitty · 09/12/2019 19:54

I understand how you feel. I didn’t have much fun as a teenager, was to shy to go to parties and didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 21.

Sunflower20 · 09/12/2019 20:07

You can still go travelling and have lots of adventures.

Weepingwillows12 · 09/12/2019 20:12

I dont think it's your age. I am mid thirties and hung out with quite a diverse group. Wild times were had by some friends but I remember equally going to parties where people had done none of it. If you are 30sthen you have loads of time to have fun.

What do you wish you had done? Gigs, politics, meeting interesting different people or more sleeping around and drugs? You can still do it if you wish.

ParkheadParadise · 09/12/2019 20:15

I had Dd1 at 15
I had to grow up quickly.
Years later when I met DH I finally got to do all the things I hadn't been able to when dd was young.
Dd2 was a complete surprise when I was 38, Dd1 was 23.
So I'm back to the baby years😂😂😂

Verily1 · 09/12/2019 20:16

I think there was a time from mid 90s to mid 00s when there wasnt much youth/ student activism.

People maybe just had more of a hedonistic lifestyle if they lived away from home in their youth- which was more common then that in the 70s/80s or 2010s.

TheDarkPassenger · 09/12/2019 20:20

You need to watch cougar town!

Not saying you’re old enough to be a cougar but she makes going out and dating etc seem quite cool

VanyaHargreeves · 09/12/2019 20:27

I regret my boring good girl worked hard in school years too OP

They didn't pay off into a life anymore spectacular than peers who drank in the park whilst telling their parents they were at Youth Club.

FiveStoryFire · 09/12/2019 21:50

I had a wild time and loved it!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 09/12/2019 22:00

You're a similar age to me and I do think it was quite an uninspiring time politically. I marched against Iraq but that was when I was still at school - by university the choice seemed to be to either join Labour Students and brightly pretend that everyone wasn't a bit sick of Blair and that tuition fees were fine, really, or to complain that they were all as bad as each other, ideally while smoking. I suppose the option of Young Conservatives was also there and there were some of them, but they were widely acknowledged to be proper weirdos. I don't think I knew many people who felt they had a political home in the mid-00s, and it certainly didn't feel as high stakes as it does now.

dayswithaY · 09/12/2019 22:07

Don't worry about it, all the wild stuff I did I either can't remember or I've buried it due to embarrassment. I should have sat in front of the telly every night, it wouldn't have made any difference. Life is constantly evolving - who says you can only be wild when you're young? In fact I wish I'd been more serious when I was younger and focussed more on my career and making money instead of dancing in fields. You are who you are, you really haven't missed much.

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