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Feeling hurt and annoyed I didn’t say something

11 replies

Mumberjack · 09/12/2019 17:57

Night out on Saturday with friends.
Talking about holidays and mentioned I’d booked a family holiday. This is a big holiday and I don’t know why I was embarrassed to mention, but we are able to go due to a windfall my H had and also through another windfall related to compensation for a v sensitive matter.

One of my friends asked when (she is away around similar time) and she kicked off because she had assumed we’d look after her small pet while she was away (now this pet needs very little care). Made a big deal about it then shouted about where she was going (close to home) and that it was ok because she and our mutual friend had decided to holiday together with their families this October (we sometimes talk about all going away with our families so it was implying I wasn’t invited in that case).

Now I know that there’s a touch of the (drunken) green eyed monster because our trip is definitely not run of the mill. But then again I wasn’t saying it to rub her face in it or to boast, and in fact theres a lot of shit we’ve had to deal with in order to receive the compensation, and we have mixed feelings about receiving the compensation anyway. For various reasons I haven’t disclosed all of these details to friends, just referred to them once or twice over the past year, as it’s not an easy subject to bring up.

My AIBU or WWYD is, i didn’t say anything at the time because we were in a big crowd, yet it’s playing on my mind. And I want to be able to talk about the holiday as the time comes and the wider context of why it’s meaningful without her making mean comments. Do I say anything to her now about how I felt and to set things straight? Or keep my mouth shut and seethe for not calling her out at the time?

OP posts:

EKGEMS · 09/12/2019 19:02

With an entitled,rude friend like her who needs enemies?! Tell her she can cough up the cash for a pet sitter like the rest of the vacationing,adult world does.,Doubtful she would take anything you say to heart probably be defensive and blow up. As for planning a joint trip that excluded you can hope for the best maybe they'll get travelers diarrhea?!


BeardedMum · 09/12/2019 19:04

Dump her!


Thelaughinggnome123 · 09/12/2019 19:10

I wouldn't have it out with her but I would take it on board that she is not a true friend.


MuchBetterNow · 09/12/2019 19:15

I can understand up to a point how you feel but don't really get why you "want to be able to talk about the holiday". In my experience people aren't really that interested and I'd only talk about a destination holiday if someone asked me specifically or if they'd already been and could give me tips.


Drum2018 · 09/12/2019 19:17

Ditch her. Who does she think she is getting annoyed because you won't be around to look after her bloody pet? I wouldn't look after it ever again even if I was around to do so. I'd be giving her a wide berth and focus on other friends who won't begrudge you a holiday.


Clangus00 · 09/12/2019 19:17

Cow! Had she been drinking? (Although that's NOT an excuse)


VanyaHargreeves · 09/12/2019 19:20

What a fucking arsehole

Thanks For You OP

Would you be brave enough to say something like "Why are you trying to piss on my chips, friend?" next time or do you prefer to avoid confrontation ?


custardbear · 09/12/2019 19:20

Entitled miserable cow! I'd be inclined to tell her to FO in October


Mumberjack · 09/12/2019 20:58

I wish I had just responded to her at the time, she was drunk and it’s shit because we’re all quite close otherwise. It has made me wary now though as it just felt mean - she knows the wider circumstances around the money thing and that’s what’s upsetting.

I wouldn’t be going on and on about the holiday but I don’t want to feel like it’s a taboo topic of conversation; I also don’t want to be passive aggressive. I think if it comes up again I’ll try to be brave and cut off any potential comments.

OP posts:

Mumberjack · 09/12/2019 20:59

And to add it’s not a pet that would require a pet sitter, just a bit of food thrown near it..!

OP posts:

PanicAndRun · 09/12/2019 21:05

How holiday conversations go with my friends

X: ohhh I just booked a holiday.
Z: nice, where to?
X: names destination (can vary from super fancy,to uk ones, to wouldn't go there if you paid me ones depending on tastes and personalities)

Z,Y,A,B,C: you bitch! I'm so jealous, I kinda hate you a little bit right now.

Closer to the time it's all are you packed,are you excited, enjoy it ,send us pics etc.

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