Who is BU about Christmas Tree decorations?

[GooseOrTurkey]

DH and I do not see eye to eye on this topical topic.

We have a small tree in the family room for the DC with non-breakable baubles in bright colours and tinsel etc, and a more tasteful red and gold tree in the front “adults only” (in theory!) room.

Over the last couple of years, DH has been sneaking additional baubles onto the tasteful tree. And I hate them. I really don’t think I am being precious; it’s not that they’re not quite the same size or colour. It’s that they are great big random shapes, and that they are hideous.

This year he has added a roast turkey on a platter, a car with a Christmas tree on the roof, a neon blue glass crab, a glittery green lizard, and a rainbow ice lolly. The last four aren’t even remotely related to Christmas FFS.

I keep hiding them around the back of the tree (“so people can see them as they come up to the front door, darling”), and he keeps moving them to front centre.

I say they are ugly and they just plain don’t go. He says I am being snobby (I’m not, they were more money than the red and gold ones!), and that his DM bought them for us (yes but only because he wanted them, and she spoils us; left to herself, she buys pretty ones).

We can’t put them on the DC tree because they’re fragile and the DC are too young. Plus, I don’t want to be explaining a Christmas lobster to a 5 year old and a 3 year old and a 1 year old .

So, who IBU? Should he be allowed to have whatever makes him happy, or should he leave my lovely tree alone and stop spoiling it with ugly things?

(Disclaimer: Light hearted but he might end up with a Christmas lizard up the arse if he keeps it up!)

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

"Curated tree" you want to take that over the Wanky Things you do thread in AIBU

[TheOrigRightsofwomen]

So, to him they bring happiness.

You think they don't go. Honestly, if no one other than you and DH saw the tree, would you let him keep them on?

Are you worried that other adults will think your tree is lacking taste and class?

nb I am not married and we only have room for one tree so what do I know?!

[GooseOrTurkey]

That’s fine in theory, Bertrand, but if you have any ideas on how to stop toddlers and pre-schoolers from yanking on the branches and grabbing the fragile baubles (and other decs), and possibly cutting their hands or feet, that don’t require the installation of a 24 hour waking watch, please do share your wisdom ! DS is spending nearly all his time taking the shiny plastic baubles off their tree and putting them back on again, it would be a shame to take it away from him, but that tree is only a little one, so it would definitely be “depressing” just to have that!

[TitianaTitsling]

@Oneofthosedreadfulparents l love these ones!

[Simkin]

I like the cut of your DH's jib quite honestly. I think you are being a bit precious. But then I am of the tinsel vomit school of Christmas Decorating.

[Whattodoabout]

My Mum always had a tree to match the decor in her front room. It was so dull, just baubles to match whatever colour her walls were. One year she had green and brown baubles ffs .

I have completely rebelled against this, my tree has an eclectic mix of decorations. We have Edgar Allan Poe, Home Alone, a dinosaur, toadstools,’rainbows, llamas etc. I think it looks MARVELLOUS.

[Ninkanink]

It can be perfectly lovely for children to have their own tree, and allows them a lot of joy and enjoyment and ownership of the Christmas experience.

Seriously OP I think you should gift him a little tree that can sit on a high surface somewhere and be daddy’s tree. Even very young children can be taught not to touch something that belongs to someone else.

Three trees = everyone’s happy!

[GooseOrTurkey]

For those asking about the inexplicably popular lobster, here he is:

//www.lisaangel.co.uk/sass-and-belle-glittery-lobster-bauble

I’d love to say you could have mine, but I don’t want to make a grown man cry...!

[TitianaTitsling]

Why should the fun tree be the wee tree?

[GrannyBags]

We have a Frozen themed tree (my son is largely responsible for that) a Disney tree (a collection of stuff which has been built up over 30 years) and a family tree - which has photo baubles of all the extended family. We love a bit of Christmas tat! I would love the idea of looking for the tackiest bauble I could find! Maybe Frozen will have to merge with the rest of Disney next year and we can have a tacky decoration tree! A fourth tree would cost too much ie: one husband

[Ninkanink]

Because it’s the simplest and easiest solution that works for everyone right now!

[BertrandRussell]

“ It can be perfectly lovely for children to have their own tree, and allows them a lot of joy and enjoyment and ownership of the Christmas experience.”

That’s called a Christmas tree. Not a children’s tree.

[Ninkanink]

Different things work for different people.

[AryaStarkWolf]

Life is too short for “tasteful” trees

I had to come to terms with this when I had kids and now the tree wouldn't be the same without those awful handmade creations they made in school

[Vulpine]

You lost me at adult only room - let alone 'tasteful' tree

[Peanutbutteryogurt]

I was going to say YABU but those decorations sound hideous, no way I'd have them on my tree. There's a difference between fun and christmassy, and just plain tacky.

[thunderandsunshine01]

My partner would be kicked out if I found a lobster on the tree

[horizontilting]

Your MIL is being unreasonable, frankly. There was more than one lobster at the birth of Our Lord.

[HerRoyalNotness]

They’re the kind of decorations we put in our main tree. I can’t be doing with matching, tasteful decor. Send them my way!

[NellieEllie]

I agree with you OP. I love my mainly red and gold tree. Not because I think it’s “tasteful”, but because I just love that colour combination, and it lifts me every time I look at it. I can’t bear tinsel either, because I like to see the tree.
We have a smaller artificial tree that has no rules.
If my DH started putting neon blue crabs on the red and gold tree, I would just take it off and hide it. If he felt strongly, then we would need to get a tree each. Thems the rules...

[nokidshere]

Yabu simply for having an adult tree and a children's tree

[aSofaNearYou]

Sounds like you both could quite easily find a middle ground, you are overly traditional and he is overly kooky. If he wanted more input it should have been obvious to him that you wouldn't like those particular ones - I'm not as traditional as you but I wouldn't like his either.

Just go out together and pick ones you both like - they can be eclectic and cute and still look relatively tasteful, and they don't have to be plain glass red and gold balls either. Get ones with patterns or textures, the odd candy cane or nutcracker or gingerbread or whatever it might be.

[fairydustandpixies]

Your DH sounds like so much fun! My tree has the PG Tips Monkey on the top instead of a fairy - my adult DS started that trend off the first Christmas in his own home, I'm shamelessly copying him!

[TheOrigRightsofwomen]

but if you have any ideas on how to stop toddlers and pre-schoolers from yanking on the branches and grabbing the fragile baubles (and other decs), and possibly cutting their hands or feet, that don’t require the installation of a 24 hour waking watch, please do share your wisdom

For goodness sake, most people with young children don't have two trees. When the children are at that age, you have a small tree on a table, or decorate with non-breakable items, or put those ones up high.

In the past I think we chucked a pile of tinsel on a yucca plant and another year wrapped lights around the stand of a standard lamp.

It really didn't make any difference to the magic or memories of Christmas.

[SnarkyGorgon]

I loathe ‘tasteful’ Christmas trees, they should be relegated to offices and shopping centres