Actually hate myself

[Xzyxzyu111]

i have so many deadlines coming up . I never do my work or revise though and it pisses me off . i think about the work all day but never do it. I hate that i don't have the motivation and dedication to do anything and thats why i'm failing

@niclondon1 I used to go library in the summer all the time but now it's getting darker I can't to because it gets dark earlier and my closest library is an hour away

If you’ve got an offer from a top uni already, you can ditch the mock interview. You clearly know what you’re doing.

I would look at sourcing counselling through your doctors. I’m suprised it wasn’t offered upon the diagnosis of infertility. Very sorry you been given such news. It sounds as though you are dealing with a lot of things and that clearing the head space to study is just impossible. Hopefully counselling or cbt could help you manage your thoughts better.

@mrsjackrussell my parents won't let me as they think it will be a year wasted and I won't want to go back plus I already have an offer for my course and I really want to start that it's just my current sixth form and subjects that I want to get away form

@puds11 ill try that thankyou

@PurpleDaisies it's not a mock it's an interview for a uni which I want to put as my insurance

@puds11 I will make an appointment with my gp

I really hope you can get the support you need Xzy it is very difficult over coming obstacles whilst dealing with added personal stresses and emotions, especially at such a young age. Wishing you the best of luck and focus on your university course. Where you are now is a means to an end and will be done with quicker than you know. Take care of yourself.

So sorry to hear about your losses and your news. It does sound like you might be grieving and/or depressed...? Perhaps now is not the right time to take the exams?
I agree with the advice to see a counsellor, or at least talk to the school about your situation. They may offer various practical options, like taking some exams later or giving you extensions etc?
Also, if you are really going through a hard time and are worried you won't make the grades needed, then a Gap Year can be incredibly helpful. You can work to save some money, whilst taking the exams under less pressure, and when you are feeling better in yourself. Your Uni may delay their offer to the following year and I'm sure your parents would understand. Have you told them how you are feeling..?
Hope you can get some support x

it's not a mock it's an interview for a uni which I want to put as my insurance

Ah, sorry. I was confused because you called it a mock interview for uni.

You’ve already nailed your dream choice. You can walk into this one knowing it’s only a back up and it doesn’t really matter.

I agree with others, the priority now should be your mental health. You don’t sound very well at the moment. GP would be a very good plan, as soon as possible.

What do your school/college know about how you’re feeling?

And I can’t even type what’s in my head...
I was confused because it looked like you called it a mock interview for uni.

Completely know how you feel. I was unable to motivate myself to revise at Alevel stage (and continued to struggle with the same thing at uni). Revision courses helped, during half terms. Expensive though they were.

Speak to your teachers about it. See if they have any suggestions on tackling this.

OP, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses and your diagnosis. Things like this can put you under tremendous stress and anxiety, causing ADHD like symptoms.
As a teen I was just like you, I always got good grades but I flip flopped wildly between diligently revising for 6 hours a day and then doing no revision until the last 3 days before an exam. My mum called me useless, a dud... she didn't understand that I couldn't help it.

I would honestly get checked for ADHD just to be sure, it can manifest in very surprising ways. And then, whether or not you have a positive diagnosis, try to get Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for your compulsion to use social media and other distractions when you should be working.

What you have is essentially a coping mechanism to deal with stress, and it's a kind of addiction. To beat it, you need real professional help. Don't suffer alone. I'm hesitant to suggest psychotropic medication for such a young and developing brain, but I do take a supplement called magnolia bark which helps my anxiety and focus somewhat. It could be worth looking into. Your anxiety is the big problem here, and no wonder, what with all the stress you've been under!

Take care of yourself OP, have a nice hot bath and give yourself a break. Be honest with your parents and tell them frankly that you need real help. Bereavement and infertility are no joke! Wishing you luck x

My parents won't let me go to the GP and saying that I'm just making excuses cause I'm lazy and what's the gp going to do give u medicine which will mess up the rest of your body. I dunno what to do now because now I actually think I've got it and I'm giving myself a victim mentality

@msflibble post above

If you’re 17, they have no say in whether you go to the gp or not. It’s your body and your life.

@Purpledaisies I understand that however if something does go wrong they're going to be the ones looking after me. They have had experiences with other family members going through this and are wiser than me. Also someone else told me waiting time are horrible for cbt so there's no point

And idk if it would affect my uni offer as u have to declare all mental health to them

They aren’t wiser than medical professionals when it comes to your hearth. I don’t understand why you think something would “go wrong”,

And idk if it would affect my uni offer as u have to declare all mental health to them.

Getting no treatment and starting a busy, stressful course expecting everything to be ok is a recipe for things actually going wrong.

Whether or not you’ve been to the doctor, you are experiencing problems now. Taking control and getting help is a positive thing and will be seen as such.

@purpledaisies OK thankyou I will go they're only like this because a family friends who had mild depression was given medicine which made him much worse. They just have a stigma around it however I feel it is affecting me and the doctors have more knowledge around it so will go to my GP tomorrow

I’m pretty sure you can self refer for mental health stuff in our area so might be worth googling to see what’s available. There are groups too that meet regularly to help with advice and support and they advertise on FB where I live but also have flyers in the library. Failing that there are telephone helplines for young people in education and I’m sure your Sixth Form could help you find them. It sounds like you have had a lot going on and it’s not just motivation.

Regarding the uni offer being affected by mental health - I very much doubt that. My daughter declared an eating disorder and mental health issues on her UCAS forms it didn’t stop her getting into a top university.

Please go to the GP to discuss how you are feeling - there are charities around that offer counselling rather than waiting for CBT through a GP - your GP should be aware of what other options are available in your area.

You have been dealing with a lot and need help. You aren’t lazy - you are struggling mentally. Yes I agree not all medications suit everyone and there are horror stories to hear BUT there are also A LOT of people taking a mild anti-depressants who have been made to feel so much better and more able to cope with life. Please start changing the narrative you are telling yourself. Make a very small change today - try and achieve one small task only and go from there

And GP’s don’t simply medicate, they can help you access the right help. Book a double appointment so you have time to talk. Your family are probably just worried and don’t know how to help.