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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBMad to TTC when...

31 replies

Betterbegoing · 07/12/2019 21:54

Name changed as this is outing!!
DH and I got married in July, and are due to go on honeymoon at the very end of this month. We’re going very long haul, total flight time of 24 hours. I have issues with my back, and so we are mildly concerned as to how this might go anyway, but I’m sure it’ll be fine... probably. Bit of background.

Anyway, to get to the point, we want to start TTC, sooner rather than later, for a few reasons, and I just wanted to gauge from women who have been pregnant how bad an idea this could be? My main concerns are the sickness and the potential for achiness, so any and all input would be very much appreciated, when your morning sickness made an appearance, how affected you were physically early on etc.

Main reasons for wanting to get a move on;
We’ve wanted to for a long time but wanted to be married and stable financially first which we now are
My DH is much less busy with work from November (ish) onwards, so if we caught straight away, this would work in our favour (I know there’s no guarantees, but last time (which admittedly ended in a miscarriage) I fell pregnant straight away)
We love the idea of a honeymoon baby, potentially (silly reason but a reason nonetheless)

YABU - are you mad woman?! Just wait till you’re back!
YANBU - go for it, it’ll be grand!

OP posts:

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 07/12/2019 21:56

Why not try, unless the place you're going has Zika concerns? 'Trying' is just having lots of sex, no need to define it as attempting to conceive surely?

Boots20 · 07/12/2019 21:59

In my experience symptoms/sickness didn't kick in until week 7, this was with all 3 pregnancies. I'd say go for it.

1Morewineplease · 07/12/2019 22:02

I’m sorry... I don’t understand what your long haul flight has to do with conception.
You’re unlikely to conceive straight away, but even if you do, you’re only going to be away for a couple of weeks so you wouldn’t even know if you’re pregnant.

Not sure I understand your concerns, if I’m honest.

Venger · 07/12/2019 22:03

I had hyperemesis and sickness kicked in 2-3 days before my period was due then lasted right up until delivery.

Why not start while on holiday? Then if you do get pregnant you'd be more or less symptomless until you get back.

Original poster

Betterbegoing · 07/12/2019 22:11

@1Morewineplease I forgot to mention that we’re away for 6 weeks. Probably one of the more important bits 😂

OP posts:

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 07/12/2019 22:14

Honestly, go and enjoy your honeymoon and go for it when back. I was sick most days from pretty much the day I got a positive. Also the first few weeks can be unbelievably exhausting.

PurpleDaisies · 07/12/2019 22:17

For the sake of a few weeks, why not just edit?

PurpleDaisies · 07/12/2019 22:17

Wait! Not edit.

TackyTinsel · 07/12/2019 22:19

Enjoy your honeymoon and start trying when you get back.

Original poster

Betterbegoing · 07/12/2019 22:23

Thanks for all your replies. I am honestly so torn. Desperate to start trying but maybe for the sake of another two months we should just hold fire and make sure I don’t end up vomiting my way around New Zealand.

OP posts:

juneybean · 07/12/2019 22:28

Do you know when ovulation is? You wont find out til 2 weeks after that and sickness might kick in 2 weeks after that...

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 07/12/2019 22:29

Knowing what I know now, having been through it twice, I'd definitely wait. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself at all in early pregnancy

Blondiemama · 07/12/2019 22:30

I fell pregnant on honeymoon, morning sickness did kick in for a while BUT I had a horrible implantation bleed and was literally sat sobbing in the bath it was so bad. Only lasted a day though and then I was fine. There’s never a perfect time to TTC so I’d go for it!

Justgorgeous · 07/12/2019 22:32

I find this crazy. The chance that you will get pregnant and start having severe symptoms in 6 weeks is highly unlikely.

Pippa12 · 07/12/2019 22:33

I fell pregnant with my first immediately- literally first month of trying so its definitely a possibility. I had relatively easy pregnancies and went on holiday both times. If I’m honest, the exhaustion is hardcore, the worry of being away from home is daunting (bled whilst away) and the nausea is a pain (I wasn’t even too bad) I also missed having a drink and worried about the food a lot. We didn’t do any site seeing or trips. I enjoyed it but did worry a fair bit.

6 weeks in New Zealand sounds like a once in a life time trip with lots of travelling and adventures to be had, IMHO it won’t be ‘as’ enjoyable if your in the early stages of pregnancy.

Original poster

Betterbegoing · 07/12/2019 22:34

@juneybean according to my period tracker around 15th jan. but I can be reasonably irregular so not totally sure

@Justgorgeous well I don’t know, do I? That’s why I’m asking.

Thanks again for all the answers, just mulling things over.

OP posts:

Original poster

Betterbegoing · 07/12/2019 22:35

That’s what I’m worried about @Pippa12 I don’t want to fuck up what should be an amazing trip by feeling shit. I’ve a chronic illness too, which has fatigue elements, so that obviously is a factor too.

OP posts:

thatguiltyfeeling · 07/12/2019 22:38

I didn't get sickness until about 8 weeks. But I felt incredibly sick all of the time, and I was so sore I couldn't even lie down comfortably. That happened after about a week of conceiving (we only did it the once so I know exactly when we conceived). My symptoms were exactly the same both pregnancies though, the first ended in miscarriage and I never got to the actual sickness stage but the rest was there from the beginning (blamed it on binge drinking and sleeping on the floor to begin with but when my period didn't come for three months I had to bite the bullet). What symptoms did you get for your first pregnancy? That should give you a fairly good idea of what to expect in the second from my experience.

PurpleDaisies · 07/12/2019 22:39

I’ve a chronic illness too, which has fatigue elements, so that obviously is a factor too.

It sounds like a no brainier then. Just wait a few weeks.

Original poster

Betterbegoing · 07/12/2019 22:43

@thatguiltyfeeling I didn’t really get any symptoms, and it was over quite quickly, barely 8 weeks, so I don’t feel well placed to try and gauge it.

Thanks all for your replies. I think, having weighed it up, I’m being impatient, and probably running the risk of hampering my enjoyment of what will be an incredible trip for the sake of waiting a couple of months. It might be absolutely fine, but again, it might be an absolute trial and I’m not sure I want to risk it. Thanks again

OP posts:

feliciabirthgiver · 07/12/2019 22:44

Definitely wait, enjoy six weeks of just you and DH, you will need those happy memories to call upon during the fabulous trauma that is having children.

TreeSwayer · 07/12/2019 22:49

I was told I would need IVF to get pregnant (told by my gynae surgeon who had just operated on me) I somehow managed to get pregnant 2 weeks later (yes a massive shock all round, planned but had no idea it would be that soon) and we had a holiday already booked to the Caribbean. I was 6-7 weeks pregnant when we went.

It was awful, I couldn't fit in half my clothes by the end of the holiday, I was so sick and the flight home was absolutely miserable. I have endometriosis so fatigue too. So they had to monitor me for the risk of an ectopic pregnancy too.

I would just wait. You want to have a great honeymoon, so enjoy it and TTC when you are back. Imagine being curled in a ball, feeling like you have the worst hangover ever and knowing that even after sleeping you will feel the same way the next day and the next day. That is how I felt.

With Ds2 I actually lost weight in the first 12 weeks as I was so ill from the pregnancy plus I ended up in the early pregnancy unit twice and the second time was put on bed rest!

Birthdaycakemondays · 07/12/2019 22:49

you will need those happy memories to call upon during the fabulous trauma that is having children.

Yep 😂

Original poster

Betterbegoing · 07/12/2019 22:53

you will need those happy memories to call upon during the fabulous trauma that is having children.
😂

OP posts:

newbingepisodes · 07/12/2019 22:59

Wait - you'll never get that honeymoon back once you have kids holidays are kinda crap lol!
Enjoy that New Zealand wine and get on with dtd when you get home. One full cycle ain't gonna make any difference time wise.

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