Aibu to ask for help finding some direction at 23?

[BinkyBaa]

Hi all, expecting to get a slated for this but I could do with some advice from people a little bit older and wiser.

I'm 23 and have no idea how to find something to do with my life. I recently graduated from a masters with distinction and an award for best dissertation but all too quickly that all became meaningless. I studied history which really doesnt have any specific jobs in it aside from teaching, which I've considered but I don't want to teach and I don't think it's fair on the kids stuck with me as their teacher either.

Altogether my life is a bit boring and grim at the moment. Mouldly flat, no proper friends and no money, just rejection emails rolling in and more applications rolling out. I've been rejected from every grad scheme I could find (nhs, civil service fast stream, auditing etc). The vast majority of places wont even interview me though I'm told my CV is impressive by the few that did.

I thought I found something I wanted to do, which is moving into law (my work in history was largely focused on a mixture of art and mass social/legal issues like asbestos/working conditions/contraceptive negligence(think dalkon shield), so theres some background) but so far I've only had one interview in which I've been told "we found you to be very passionate and capable but we dont think you're really dedicated to law enough" followed by a whole spiel about how they'd assumed I'd applied randomly as a new graduate looking for anything and everything (everyone else at the interview was a law student, so god knows why they even bothered calling me in).

The pathway for law would likely be the SQE now but I'd still need two years work as a paralegal (and the money from it to fund my study).

I feel very stuck and demotivated. I've been rejected from the civil service a good 30 times already (AO and EO positions). It seems like nobody wants me with my current qualifications and experience (4 years of retail), but I cant afford to retrain or even just learn to drive. I honestly regret the masters as I'm now ineligible for any kind of student finance. I just want a full time job that isn't retail so I can get my life on track but it seems thats too optimistic.

My partner works and was looking forward to his first proper job but it's worked out that I'm ineligible for UC and his earnings just about cover us to live paycheck to paycheck, so its bringing him down as well and I feel particularly guilty sitting at home job searching for the past four months while he works and has little new to show for it.

I feel like I'm not looking forward to anything but not enjoying the present either, and I know other people have actually hard lives and I've no right to complain but I can't help but feel so low all the time, like everything I worked for has been pointless.

Any ideas as to how I can break back into doing something with my life without any money to start with?

Temping is a good suggestion to build experience, art gallery or museum work could tie in to what you want to do and could prove useful for networking too

Temping!

I found myself in a similar situation. Temping worked well to give me some cash and it led to a permanent position which ended up using my degree.

I'm not in the UK but agencies here will train you in different software - you don't get paid while training and you can easily practice typing speed at home for free.

Would you be interested in academia or research? You could do a PhD.

Also I'd recommend you pick up some kind of retail job in the mean time so you can help your partner out with income (and so you don't go crazy from constant job applications!).

Definitely sign up to temp agencies. Your university may have a bank of staff as well.

Go back to your careers service. They will help you.

Sweat your network. Ask everyone you know for help to get a job.

Get on LinkedIn.

Volunteer.

Use your downtime to learn new skills. There's loads of free online resources.

Don't tie yourself down to a specific location. You can't afford to do that. Sorry.

In a similar position myself and I'm 31. My uni degree was no use, I've worked half the jobs in the city and my life feels like it is going precisely nowhere.

But my weakness is I don't dream big. I don't want the fight. I could go back to retrain in something. But there's nothing I'm passionate enough about to commit years to. And the thought of going back to be a teacher (which would probably be the 'smart' option for me too) - I don't want to do that anyway!

If you have something you are passionate about, go for it. Perhaps it will pay better someday down the line.

I'm trying to take little courses in things I enjoy and volunteering to try find my passion. Maybe that's a stupid move, but I just don't want a career I don't like.

Perhaps I'm not the best person to advise you xD

Definitely arrange an interview with a careers advisor. I think the National Careers Service is the place to contact. They can pinpoint your strengths and enlighten you as to what careers and jobs may suit you.

You sound like me when I was your age. I eventually ended up temping and was taken on permanently by one of the companies - this to me into their marketing and communications dept. I now have a great job in this area in a university. Try it, it’s a good way to make contacts etc. Good luck xx

I'm absolutely serious I think all 20 somethings if they can should do some travelling, there's really no experience like living and working abroad that helps you get to know yourself, what you like, what you want out of life.

Great advice. I was in the same position as the OP at the same age, and I understand how soul destroying it is to have all those rejections, crappy retail jobs, and a rude interview for a rubbish job that didn't even pay enough to cover the commute! That was my life at the fag-end of the 1990s, and we at least had cheap rents and no student debt. I didn't find a solution to your/my predicament; instead, I fell pregnant a year after university, never sorted out my career, and have since subsisted on tax credits and gig work. I do wish I'd travelled while I was younger - I get that you don't want to leave your partner and pets, but it's clear that there's bugger all in this country for you, and you've little to lose by going abroad. I hope it all works out for you.

My other suggestion would be

Do you have any family or friends that can
' recommend a friend' into the company that they work for
It saves the company from paying an agency for an introduction of a new employee

Secondly, some large companies actively encourage people to send them a CV. So there maybe a vacancy for you somewhere

Ideally, a job with on the job training & progression

Many people have mentioned temping so I won't repeat what they've said. But my brother found his calling that way - he works for a government agency you've probably not heard of (CQC) and loves it because he feels like he's doing something that helps people.

Here are some alternative thoughts because I want to push back on the idea that history degrees are only good for teaching. This is not an exhaustive list.

Have you thought about writing? E-publishing has made this much more accessible than it used to be. As a historian, you (should) know how to do research, and also how to write. You'll need to do the work to find your market but it might be worth a try. JK Rowling was unemployed, remember.

Equally, you could consider submitting short stories to magazines or scripts to television companies. Or if fiction doesn't appeal, there are magazines and other publications that will pay for essays and articles on particular subjects. For example, a friend of mine used to work for a children's magazine that explains historical events.

In addition, TV, film and print publication companies often require research analysts. If you can sort through a huge pile of data, make sense of it all and summarize it concisely, you're ideal.

If law-related things appeal as you mentioned, have you considered the CAB or similar organizations? You might need to volunteer with them first but they do have paid staff.

How about being a librarian? I think you might need a masters, mind you.

What about event planning? It might not seem that logical, but cultural and historical organizations hold galas and fundraisers all the time and need people to organize those events. An understanding of their work is a plus.

Another one for analytics - logisticians or supply chain management. This job involves analysing historical data in order to identify strengths and weaknesses in supply and distribution chains.

Market research - another one that is for the analytical side.

Public relations - this is a good one if you're a good writer.

Anyway, that's just a few thoughts. Hope it helps.

How does one 'go abroad & travel' with no money & no job lined up ?

Some jobs abroad offer accommodation to begin with and a relocation fee to help you get on your feet. It is not always a high flying job too, I had no money at all and a company gave me a hotel for 3 months and a 1000 euro relocation fee to help put a deposit down on somewhere to live.

At your age I had a pointless useless degree.

I'd worked as since 14.

When at school -
shop
waiter

At uni-
Pub
Bookies

Uni holidays-
Call centre

When I left uni I was stumped and broke so applied for a few jobs and walked into a customer service role in a big corps company. From there into the marketing dept. I got involved with corporate responsibility. That lead me into a different path altogether as it helped me realise what I wanted.

I was never happy there - too corporate. I did a counselling course and long story short I'm now a social workman's I love it.

Point being all those steps led me to where I am now. The corporate world wasn't for me but it gave me training and confidence and helped me realise what was for me.

That shop job could lead to something else, sometimes it's the foot in the door.

My sister was similar - she tried teaching, hated it. Ended up temping at a law firm. They took her on and paid for her CiPD and now she's head of HR for the same huge firm.

You're just at the start, take that chance.

Social worker not workman!

Have a look at police civilian jobs near you. It's good interesting work, law-related, loads of opportunity for progression and learning.

Hi OP,

Just wanted to send solidarity and say you're not alone. I was on the dole at 30, am now in a good job- things can turn around quickly.

Re the law - keep trying. If you haven't got a degree from Oxbridge or a Russell Group uni you (probably) can't be a barrister or a solicitor at a magic circle firm BUT there are loads of high street firms and small firms up and down the country. My BIL just did an OU law degree, got a job as a paralegal at a small, provincial firm, and now he's graduated and is doing CILEX to become a legal executive. It's not quite solicitor level, but it's still a good, varied job, which in time is relatively well paid.

I know unpaid work is never ideal, but if you can write to law firms asking for work experience/internships or barrister's chambers for mini pupillages (even if you don't want to be a barrister) that will look really good and help with applications.

My husband trained- late - in the law with no previous experience and he made it. Do keep trying, and good luck.

How far are you prepared to travel?
Would you move?
What are your red lines?
What makes you happy?
What contacts do you have?
Would you work abroad?
What skills do you offer?

What about an apprenticeship? There use to be caps re ages and previous degrees but I think it’s changed

First of all don't panic - you're still so young. I was in your situation and I temped for a good few years. Being 'overqualified and underexperienced' can be a real problem and temp work solves this problem. It will help your self-esteem, might widen your social circle and will always look good on your CV. Good luck!

How about something like this?

www.nhsgraduates.co.uk

Hi OP! I could have pretty much written your post a decade ago - I’m 32
I left university feeling directionless and unprepared. But these things work themselves out. after various jobs in different fields I now have the experience and CV to work freelance, and am also doing a funded part time PhD in a subject very similar to yours. I make a decent living, have a great work life balance, and couldn’t be happier. Don’t stress, you’ll get there, the journey has twists and turns but you’ve got this.
If I could advise my 23 year old self I would:

• go and volunteer at something I was interested in (Museum/citizens advice/etc) but in an admin/office role. Having some admin experience on your cv will help you a lot, plus you can also say you’ve got experience in the field you’re ultimately keen on.
• get online and teach yourself to use excel and html. Basic website/CMS experience would also be useful. You can get courses for free and it will help you feel you’re doing something productive.
• ask yourself a) what are you REALLY passionate about? And b) what kind of work environment would you enjoy? Personally, it took me the best part of a decade to work out that I work best and am happiest as a freelancer/lone worker, which was a surprise to me as I’m a very chatty and sociable person outside work. So it’s worth thinking about things like that.
• come to terms with the fact that, outside academia, no one cares about your degree. It’s harsh, it’s frustrating, but it’s reality. (On the plus side it sounds like you’d be a shoe in for a funded PhD somewhere with a prizewinning dissertation, so that might be an avenue to explore)
• don’t feel like you need to have everything sorted at 23!

Good luck! I edit CVs as part of my job these days so feel free to PM me if you’d like me to take a look at your

Happy face not sad face!

It is disheartening but you are not alone. Outside of academia what would you say are your strongest skills? How can you apply those skills?

I think if you are struggling to get interviews in local government or the Civil Service you need to review your competencies and focus on what the employer is looking for. Sometimes people write a lot about academic achievements but competencies are about demonstrating experience and how you would deal with a situation. Is there a particular profession in the Civil Service you want to join?

I am a Civil Servant (in policy), happy to review your competencies if it helps.

Firstly, stop wasting your time applying for PhDs. They are tough to get onto, tough to get funding for, very very tough to complete and very very tough to get jobs at the end of. You aren’t committed so don’t waste any more time or energy on applications. I don’t think gaining even more qualifications that you don’t particularly need or want is going to be in any way productive.

Secondly, you are young to have moved in with your boyfriend and I don’t think it’s working out too well for either of you. He shouldn’t be expected to support you financially when he’s only just starting out on his career too. You need to do something, anything, to contribute, retail, hospitality, whatever, while you keep applying for something more appropriate to your qualifications. Or move back in with your family? Lots of 23 year olds still live with their parents.

Thirdly, not being able to drive wouldn’t matter if you lived somewhere with decent public transport. Do you? If not, has moving in with your boyfriend boxed you in?