Aibu to think this is NOT usual behaviour?

[HalyardHitch]

Ds1 is three next month. He had one of the biggest meltdowns he's ever had just this morning.

He was screeching and screaming and thrashing like a trapped animal. I was trying to hold and comfort him.

He ended up laying on the floor. Wet himself. And continued just to lay in his urine screaming and screeching.

In the end I forcibly picked him up, stripped him and wiped him down. He then said "I need a poo", sat on the toilet and that was the meltdown over.

It wasn't a tantrum as he wasn't asking for anything. It was literally emotional overwhelm.

Is this normal? I don't think it's normal

We spent a very long time choosing an environment that we thought he would cope with. I'm lucky that I work evenings because my feeling was always that he would never cope with a busy nursery environment

My first boy missed out the terrible twos but definitely had a few threenager moments.. this included like what you described, thrashing and screaming and unable to be controlled until they're exhausted. It literally happened 3/4 times and never again and he's all good.
I think sometimes they just get so overwhelmed and can't deal!

Mine were also beautiful 2 year olds.

3, bang, massive psycho arseholes.

My daughter is 11 and has asd so.it's different but she has huge meltdowns where before she has went herself and also tried to snack her head against a wall. Every time is terrifying.
I wouldn't leave your son to it but unless he's going to hurt himself or someone else I wouldn't restrain him. We have cuddles when she's calm.
I'm not for one second saying your son is autistic but I wonder if it's a reaction to a lot of excitement ( I suspect preschool are doing a lot about Christmas,) and possible tiredness.

I have 2 boys. Eldest never had meltdowns. Ds2 had phenomenal meltdowns at that age. I remember someone telling me I should ignore the meltdown and he'll get over it quicker rather than try and intervene. Tested the theory when he threw himself on the floor in a shop. We were there for 25 minutes and I gave up before he did and carried him home. You're not alone.

@halyardhitch thank you for clarifying

It's just so hard to work out. He's had them since before tantrums existed. Maybe since about 12 months. We can feel them coming these days and often escape before he snaps.

I'm just finding it so stressful since school have expressed concerns. It's literally all I think about. I'm struggling to enjoy him at the moment because my worries for him are all consuming.

He's under the hospital for his vision issues. The paediatrician for his dietary issues/health issues. The hv for his development check issues and now school are calling in support from the inclusion officer. We have been approved for home start support but they struggled to find a volunteer so I told them not to bother. The lady who came to assess witnessed a meltdown and said "is he always like this? That's pretty intense"

I just want to go back to enjoying my boy but both me and my husband are so run down. We're exhausted, our house is a mess, we work as much as we can but are in 12k of debt. I'm just so so very tired

He's just finished licking both me and his brother. Now I'm pretty sure that is typical nearly three year old behaviour