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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give someone 20p

65 replies

TrulyMadlyBeefly · 06/12/2019 15:14

I have just been stopped the the street and asked for 20p. My auto response is always sorry, no. Get asked a lot.

It just seemed an odd amount to ask for. It's also an area notorious for moped crime and I'm wondering if it was a ploy to get my purse out and snatch it.

Am I overthinking this Confused

OP posts:
mumofbun · 06/12/2019 15:18

It might just be they ask for such a small amount as for most people you wouldn't even notice if you lost 20p so more likely to say yes. I always just say i'm sorry i don't have any change as like you i don't want to get my purse our and leave myself vulnerable. If i had something in my pocket i might.

1Morewineplease · 06/12/2019 15:21

Yes it does seem like an odd amount. A lot of people may well think that 20p is nothing and will willingly stop to fish through their change. Women , generally, use purses , and would take their purse out... only to have it snatched immediately.
I’d be wary.

OldEvilOwl · 06/12/2019 15:25

I would think they were after your purse too

whojamaflip · 06/12/2019 15:25

Round here it would someone needing the toilet! All our council loos need a 20p to access and I know I've asked someone in the street with a desperate dc in tow....

GeePipe · 06/12/2019 15:27

When im in liverpool i alwas get asked for odd ammounts from 15p to 20p really weird and its always by addicts so i have no idea?! I always say no sorry. Last week though i said no sorry and the cheeky fucker said to me "theres a cashpoint over there for you to get it".

MegaClutterSlut · 06/12/2019 15:31

Could be but who knows

We had a man going around my area for months nick named the '20p man'. He used to get loads of money every week until people got fed up with him

blackteasplease · 06/12/2019 15:32

I don’t like to get my purse out of my bag in the street. Maybe I should keep some money in my pocket for people thoughZ

Bluebutterfly90 · 06/12/2019 15:34

I used to get this on the way to and from work. At one point it got so bad the only thing I would take to work would be my bus pass.
YANBU. You cant help everyone and if you feel vulnerable then definitely don't get your purse out. I just normally say I have no change, which is generally true as I use card for everything these days.

Zoecarter · 06/12/2019 15:35

@GeePipe hahaha that’s so funny I live in Liverpool and I was thinking why is it odd to be asked for a small amount it happens all the time.

They useally say it’s for the bus or phone I think it’s coz scousers are quite generous and it all adds up. Xx

GeePipe · 06/12/2019 15:41

I always thought it was for a cup of tea somewhere cheap. I always want to give them something but apparently its a bad idea. I dont want to be responsible if i gave money and someone ods and dies from it. Yeah liverpool theres loads some are really lovely its such a shame . The cash machine did make me laugh though i called him a cheeky bastard and he winked Grin

Original poster
TrulyMadlyBeefly · 06/12/2019 15:42

Okay. I normally keep my purse in my inside pocket, so if my bag is snatched they will end up with a load of receipts, used tissues and pens Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
TrulyMadlyBeefly · 06/12/2019 15:43

Definitely not in Liverpool.

OP posts:
lurkingattheback · 06/12/2019 15:45

I think it's because often people will say yes to a low amount, but once they've committed, if they don't have 20p,would give a50p or more as embarrassed not to.

RollOnNextYear · 06/12/2019 15:46

My aunt for mugged that way years ago. She got her purse out they grabbed and ran.
I just say no sorry and walk ahead now.

KellyHall · 06/12/2019 15:48

I'd think exactly the same as you. It's not worth the risk.

fiestar · 06/12/2019 15:48

It might just be that if you don't have 20p but you do have 50p or a pound, you're not going to ask for exact change.
(but it's probably the best way to get someone to get their purse out)

Elieza · 06/12/2019 15:52

I think you did the right thing to be on the safe side. I generally have about two quid in change in my pocket for parking meters but I wouldn’t have gotten my purse out if I didn’t have change handy in my pocket.

KurriKurri · 06/12/2019 15:53

I probably would give that amount or i would ask what they needed it for. I do keep bit of change in my pocket and my purse is zipped away in my rucksack/bag. I was once asked for 55p by homeless man he said he wanted to buy a sausage roll - we were outside Tesco and that waas the price of the sausage rolls. So I bought him a meal in cafe instead and he seemed quite happy with that alternative - he was genuinly hungry and I wouldn't want to see anyone go hungry.
20p does seem a strange amount- but it could be just how much extra someone needs to buy a hot drink or some food, or to put money on their meter.

But I think if you want to give because you are kind, but fear being mugged then loose change in your pocket is a good compromise. (Although I live in a small seaside town with a lot of homelessness there isn't a great deal of violence/mugging etc - I am naive in the ways of big cities and would probably be the first person to be mugged)

Drabarni · 06/12/2019 16:02

I always give them money, gave one £2.50 the other day.
Poor love had a dodgy leg you could tell wasn't put on, the pain etched in her face. She had been given a hostel in the next town but was short of bus money to get there. Said she'd slept in our park, very close to town where we were. All seemed plausible and if it wasn't she deserved more than £2.50 for her tenacity. I'd seen her speaking to at least 3 people before me.

Drabarni · 06/12/2019 16:06

I can understand people being wary there are some awful people about and best not to get your purse out.
However, if you would otherwise help, please keep some change in a coat pocket.
I've been following the charities working with homeless in manchester, seriously every bit helps.
Whilst we're here, blankets and hot food and drinks. Give to the charities if you fel unsafe delivering yourself. Thanks

Littlemeadow123 · 06/12/2019 16:07

As other people on here have said, some public toilets charge 20p to get in. Usually, these are the toilets that are so disgusting that they will probably one day be blamed for cholera returning to the UK.

diddl · 06/12/2019 16:09

I was stopped by a bloke who told me that he had just got off a train & had left his wallet & phone!

Told him straight away that I had nothing with me.

"Ah no, I'm not after your money but if you give me your bank details I can transfer it back"??!!

Transfer what back?-I've nothing with me!

MeadowHay · 06/12/2019 16:13

Hahaha, I'm in Liverpool too and also thinking "eh? I get asked this all the time?" haha. Tbh though thinking about it, people are moving towards just asking for 'spare change' though rather than specific amounts. I remember being asked for specific small amounts a lot more like 5-10 years ago.

Spied · 06/12/2019 16:14

My dm used to say 'I have no change'.
Some people may imply that means you have no change- but you do have notes.
I just say 'No, Sorry' and move on.

Butterymuffin · 06/12/2019 16:15

I always thought it was for a cup of tea somewhere cheap

I don't think anywhere does tea for 20p anymore!

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