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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Work always ask me to cover

29 replies

Geminiwitch22 · 06/12/2019 15:12

Just to explain I work as a care assitant and drive single parent with nearest family 30 mins away.
Since I started the job I've consistently been asked to cover calls and runs left right and center most people who do the same job cover one or two areas tops me and a select couple of others cover all areas.
Anyway Everytime someone goes down with a bug or car troubles I'm always asked to cover I had a meeting with management saying that it can't continue as it's affecting my sons behavior.
Low and behold the weekend I meant to be off I worked it and e see up doing.
AIBU to expect not be called in everytime.someone has either something better to do or goes sick?

OP posts:
dontalltalkatonce · 06/12/2019 15:14

You need to stop answering their calls if you cannot say 'no'. I have a sister who works in this industry and they will really take the piss out of you if they know you can.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 06/12/2019 15:15

This is standard practice in the care industry because they are chronically short staffed.

You just need to learn to say no. Don't answer your phone to them for a start. If you're not on shift and work rings you they sure aint ringing you to tell you you can have a shift off Grin

It won't stop, plus, no matter how many extra shifts you do it'll never be enough anyway.

billy1966 · 06/12/2019 15:24

Don't answer the phone. Don't be available.
If you answer the phone there can be a discussion.

No response from you. No discussion.

MumW · 06/12/2019 15:25

I agree, you should start saying no. If it's your weekend off then you can use lack of childcare at short notice as an excuse.

heartsonacake · 06/12/2019 15:26

YABU. You can’t blame them because you can’t say no.

Butchyrestingface · 06/12/2019 15:29

Low and behold the weekend I meant to be off I worked it and e see up doing.

You’ve left out the most importantly bit. That’s the bit after they asked, and you said “no”. What happened next?

Did it involve loaded pistols?

OldEvilOwl · 06/12/2019 15:31

You can say no?

Greywalls12 · 06/12/2019 15:31

Why don't you just say no?

blackteasplease · 06/12/2019 15:44

Say no or don’t answer.

ukgift2016 · 06/12/2019 15:51

Um stop answering the phone or say no. It really is that simple.

snowybaubles · 06/12/2019 15:53

Why did you need a meeting. Asking you to cover a shift is simply that. You can say no. The thing is you have made yourself first port of call because you always say yes. Next time just say 'I'm sorry I can't' and that's it.

Tobebythesea · 06/12/2019 15:57

Don’t answer your phone.

Drum2018 · 06/12/2019 16:01

If it's in your contract that you have to be available for cover then that may be hard to ignore, but if there no such clause then just say no, you are not available. Or as suggested, ignore all calls from work until you are scheduled to actually work.

dontalltalkatonce · 06/12/2019 16:03

My sister uses a burner phone for work. Sorted.

Spied · 06/12/2019 16:08

I feel guilty when I say no and spend the day ruminating about it- so now I block the number as I leave work and unblock when I'm due in.

Original poster
Geminiwitch22 · 06/12/2019 16:18

To avoid drip feeding, work requesting the meeting as they realised that all the staff started using me as back up. And I do say no and then I get a son story but I think I am going to look into a burner phone for work.
Thank you for the replies

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 06/12/2019 16:27

I used to work for a skilled nursing facility that also provided carers to the surrounding community. Our staff scheduling software would spot open shifts and then automatically suggest who to call first, second, third etc. to fill in. The biggest factor in the ranking was how frequently the person had filled on short notice previously.

LifeSpectator · 06/12/2019 16:33

If someone needs cover who will they ask first, the last ten people who are not available or the person who usually says yes, of course its normal to ask you, and till now so you have been happy to provide cover but now you say no, they spin a yarn and you say yes.. and you feel work is to blame, just say no i cant ,and if there is a sad story sympathise.

i have a friend who has a very odd way of dealing with this problem, well odd in my oppinion,- she was always being put on by her employer so she started to pretend she had tickets to things bought , was gooing to cinema with family etc, and put these fake bookings in her diary, her employer would ask she'd say no and felt justified as she would have been going to this concert if she had have bought the ticket. for some reason it gave her the mental resolve to say no its weekend i need a couple of days off.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 06/12/2019 16:39

Re: your last post - is it work who are asking you to do the shifts, or the other staff?

Original poster
Geminiwitch22 · 06/12/2019 16:46

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 orginally it was the staff and then it was my management and they said we have to go through management to ask colleagues etc so to answer it's both.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 06/12/2019 16:56

Oh I see, well you're just gonna have to learn to say no. This is fairly typical in the care industry so you'll have to get used to it.

snowybaubles · 06/12/2019 17:12

It's not your responsibility. Whoever has the sob story refer them in to your supervisor/manager. They get paid to deal with it. If you say no it's up to them to find someone else.

Original poster
Geminiwitch22 · 06/12/2019 17:23

Thank you for all tje lively supportive replies I'm going to see if.i can take.myself to a conflict resolution course or see if I can speak to management and have it in writing for it to be questioned. Thanks a lot I was thinking that I really was being over sensitive

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 06/12/2019 17:29

Or you could read The Life Changing Magic Of Not Giving A Fuck! You save your 'fucks' for things you actually want to do. You don't waste your fucks - time energy or money - on things you don't want to do and you learn to say no.

AlwaysCheddar · 06/12/2019 17:35

Don’t answer the phone!!! You don’t need to change it!!