To think Xmas parties bring out the controlling behaviour?

[Ruleof4]

So Xmas party time has come around and I can't believe the amount of people in the workplace whose partners don't trust them to go / have set curfews/ have had to be nice to DPs to ensure there are no arguments before the party!

Tbh not even sure how to deal with this kind of controlling behaviour when it only rears it's ugly head around this time of year?

I can’t say I agree with this.

Omg YES ! I was so startled when I first got an office job in my early 20s as to just how many people had partner-related reasons to not attend or conditions about attending.

One lady I worked with you'd think had the ideal marriage, always chattering away about her husband etc. comes to the Xmas party and he is coming with her, fine, only a handful of people brought partners but ok. Then it turns out he’s coming but she’s driving so he can have a drink. At her own works do. Again fine maybe she doesn’t love drinking. But the party rolls around and she’s basically his waitress all night whilst he gets lairy and drunk and then has to practically carry him to the car. Apparently he does It every year to take advantage of the free bar.

Yes - I had a controlling partner and I remember the panic to make sure I didn't get home too late - but that was no different to any other evening that I wanted to go out. Just more during the commentary - ie don't be out to late, don't drink too much, make sure you stay in touch (ie text me every 3 mins)

The first Christmas party I went to after my relationship fell apart - I was out till 4am!!

I had a partner that trusted me 100%... I got drunk and snogged my now husband. Xmas do's have a reputation for a reason! (My partner and I weren't long term serious although I shouldn't have done what I did. I behaved badly.)

So many affairs start at the Xmas do!

I’m glad I don’t have this kind of issue. I told dh when our xmas party was and he said, great, you should book yourself a hotel room so you can stay as late as you want and don’t have to bother coming home to deal with the dc the next morning. So I did!

A bit I had a controlling partner. But also people do basically whatever they can to avoid a works Christmas do!

*and I had a lot of hoops to jump through for a works night out. But then I'd avoid mentioning them to colleagues too

Yeah, I'm always amazed that people actually stand for it in the first place. The only thing my partner has ever asked about my work Christmas do is what time he needs to pick me up!

Yes - I know a couple who are very much a show couple who disapprove of Xmas dos where partners aren’t invited. I think some people have a lot riding on how they appear to the outside world

I have no desire to have DH come to mine nor I to his. I don’t think you can 100% be yourself if your OH is there.

I know of three men at work who arent allowed to go to the xmas do anymore bu that's because they're well known for getting drunk and cheating..I dont know if they wives know but obviously theyre suspicious.

I’ve never come across this I’m all my years of working. It’s pretty disturbing.

Never had anyone have a controlling partner at a Christmas do but plenty of affairs surface or start at them! Got mine to look forward to tomorrow, see what happens when people get alcohol in them lol.

Oh yes, lots of inappropriate behaviour surfaces at the Xmas work do @areyouafraidofthedark

Last year a temp ending up bladdered and twerking up against a very flustered older senior manager. One guy was exposed as shagging two colleagues who didn’t know about each other, resulting in a drunken screaming match in the car park. The finance director puked on the dance floor.

Better than Eastenders!

What I used to find weird was going out with friends (for Christmas or some other reason) and having someone’s boyfriend turn up halfway through the night to —make sure his girlfriend isn’t having too much fun and to make her go home early— drive his girlfriend home. I’d be so embarrassed to turn up at a partner’s night out (unless I was invited).

The finance director puked on the dance floor.

Made me laugh out loud; the lot I work with are far too staid!

I'd say a lot of these are excuses invented by people who don't want to go.

I used to hate to be pressured into going to Christmas parties, I came up with better excuses though.

Either an excuse to avoid it, or their partners are controlling ducks all year. I isn't believe anyones partner is totally chilled about them going out all night drinking with friends but is only controlling over the works do

Hmm, given behaviour I have seen at Xmas parties over the years I am not surprised some people could be a bit wary. I am not even talking about cheating here, but inappropriate groping 'because it's Christmas.' I avoid them at all costs.

I agree, easiest excuse in the world to blame a DH for “needing” to be home by 10 if you suspect it’s going to be a loooooooong night.

To be fair they may not all be genuinely partner related issues. I know dh uses me as a get out clause whenever he doesn't want to do something. Work social occasions are definitely something he uses me to avoid. I wouldn't have an issue with him going in actual fact, but his colleagues probably think of me as a right whip lashing cow.

I think lots of people use it as an excuse because they dontblikectheir colleagues / want to go

These parties are utterly crap, and few things in life are as awkward as people who get drunk and behave weirdly at them.

I'm with PP on this - I would use this excuse and others.

YANBU

Very soon MN will be full of threads by posters moaning about their DPs going to their Xmas dos.

My DH is out tonight at one.

My first thought?

Yay I can watch shit telly in peace!