To think Xmas parties bring out the controlling behaviour?

[Ruleof4]

So Xmas party time has come around and I can't believe the amount of people in the workplace whose partners don't trust them to go / have set curfews/ have had to be nice to DPs to ensure there are no arguments before the party!

Tbh not even sure how to deal with this kind of controlling behaviour when it only rears it's ugly head around this time of year?

Dh is going on his next Thursday (I don't know why it's a Thursday, it hardly screams party to me!). I'm thrilled I'll get an evening in peace. He's used me as an excuse to be gone early though, because he doesn't really want to go, but feels he has to. He'll be home by 10 because he's old and boring not that interested in partying with colleagues he barely knows (they mostly work from home)

Very strange. Never heard of that

Those saying they've never heard of it, have you not seen the countless threads on AIBU and Chat every Christmas?

Loads will be on a curfew, loads won't be trusted and loads will be saying they're ill and asking if they're being unreasonable to expect their DPs to stay home, even if it's just a cold or something minor.

My partners work do was always held at a hotel which they rented out to themselves and there was a whole load of bed swapping between the people that didn't have their partners attending .
unfortunately lots of drunken snogs and affairs happen at the Christmas work do but if you other wise trust your partner every other day of the year then there's not really any reason to be controlling

It may be true that lots of affairs start at Christmas parties, and that there's lots of inappropriate behaviour, but if you don't trust your partner enough to let them go out, what's the point of being with them?

I’ve known so many otherwise trustworthy people who didn’t go out that often (in a pass up sense) who have cheated at Christmas parties and begun affairs.

Two marriages in my wider circles have ended completely over Christmas party affairs.
Not to mention the countless threads here every year of Christmas party cheating.

I like going to our work Christmas do. We go for a meal and have a few drinks. As far as I know no funy business happens because I don't work with people who want to get up to mischief.

When I was with my abusive ex, he made me get all dressed up so he could show me off at his Xmas works do. I wasn't allowed to have an opinion on anything in case it reflected badly on him though, so I had to sit there silently. I was in the early stages of pregnancy but he was making me have an abortion the following week, so I was struggling with nausea throughout the event, a medieval banquet with no cutlery. He basically wanted his colleagues to see he had a biddable, reasonably attractive younger girlfriend. It was bloody awful.

In contrast, DH never bothered going to his, although he came to a few of mine, but usually I went on my own. No controlling behaviour, he would drop me off and pick me up, and it was such a different scenario to the ex. I still resent him for that party all these years later.

Our CEO is odd and cancelled whole organisation Christmas dos's because of some unruly behaviour!

He has also banned alcohol FULL STOP at the individual team Christmas lunches. Fun times!

Most teams just get the alcohol in a separate bill (lunches are part paid by organisation) and ignore this rule but the fact he thinks this is a reasonable policy astounds me.

So technically any shenanigans should be done completely sober

My exh was like this! Banned me from a works Xmas do one year. Apparently we 'couldn't afford it'. A week later he took out £100 for his do and spent the lot on booze and fags and shit himself on the way home. He didn't even like me going to my best friends house who lived 2 minutes walk away.

There's umpteen threads on here every year about someone's DH not returning from the Christmas do at the agreed time. The posters are always heavily pregnant and there's usually a sick two-year old who's crying for daddy. The poster will say they're thinking of phoning the police/ local hospital.
Countless LTB replies.

I always wonder how on earth people get so drunk at these Christmas parties. Is there just not enough food being served? Or is there enough food but way too much alcohol?

I think it is a mixture of things. Mixing drinks, too much wine being served on a empty stomach, drinking too quickly to feel confident, not having to pay for drinks. They are lethal for getting really drunk and I have had some really bad accidents on the way home. (Have learned my lesson now though and try really hard to reign it in!)

A few free drinks, mixing drinks, not enough food. I miss work Dp's 😂

Do's

He has also banned alcohol FULL STOP at the individual team Christmas lunches. Fun times! Most teams just get the alcohol in a separate bill (lunches are part paid by organisation) and ignore this rule but the fact he thinks this is a reasonable policy astounds me.

I don't think it is unreasonable to ask staff not to drink at lunchtime. It certainly isn't the done thing where I work. Besides, nearly everyone I work with drives to work so drinking at lunchtime isn't something that any of us wants to do.

I was shocked by this too! I would have NEVER touched any of my colleagues with a barge pole (because... Ew.) But so many of the people I worked with had partners who either previously worked with the company, currently worked with the company or had been around so long they insisted on coming to the party. Strangè.

We aren’t having a party this year due to Vomit-on-the-dance floorgate (see above!).

Just having a meal and a couple of drinks with my immediate team, all of whom are home in bed by 11pm types, and I’m actually really looking forward to it!

Wow!

Thanks for all the replies.

I genuinely never thought about the affairs that come about from Xmas parties!

Maybe DPs do have a reason to hate the parties but the trust should be enough I guess!

I do have a feeling pretty soon we‘ll be resorting to lunches only!