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To leave my son with childminder while on Mat leave with number 2

32 replies

Justasconfusedwithnumber2 · 05/12/2019 14:20

Just that really. My son is with childminder 3 days per week atm. I intend to carry this on while on Mat leave. He has just turned two. My reasons are that he's settled into a routine, he will have some freedom away from mum and latched baby, he's due to go to nursery next year and he's made good little friends so I don't want to separate him before a big step in his life, I also get to spend 121 time with the baby.

MIL and my sisters think I should save the money and look after him. Admittedly it is tight having to still pay childcare fees but I think that I have my sons best interests at heart.

It's been made worse that I have been signed off work sick during the last few months of this pregnancy so I am 'at home doing nothing' whilst still dropping him off down the road those three days. I have been to a christmas toddler group with childminder and DS but didn't want to attend groups all the time to throw him off his routine.

Now that it's been pointed out to me, mum guilt has set in. So AIBU?

OP posts:
Ineedcoffee2345 · 05/12/2019 15:02

My dd2 use to go to creche 3 days a week while I worked. Just had a bby and dropped her down to 1 and half days. She enjoys it to much. The routine is good and toddlers get bored being at home in my opinion

ActualHornist · 05/12/2019 15:02

I did. Never regretted the time I had one to one with my youngest son. Never had mum guilt either.

Think of it in those terms rather than money spent or saved.

FLOrenze · 05/12/2019 15:17

You are not at ‘ home doing nothing’. You are doing your best for the new baby by concentrating on your health. You are giving your son a chance to enjoy his friends and keeping him in his routine.

raspberrymolakoff · 05/12/2019 16:11

My daughter left number one at nursery which was only 3 half days a week as she wanted the new baby to disrupt his routine as little as possible though she felt guilty at first. It worked so well and meant she could still do the baby things she had enjoyed with number one with number two. I was also relieved as I had a chance to have cuddles with the new baby without upsetting the older sibling. Win win.

KarmaStar · 05/12/2019 16:17

Firstly,you are not doing nothing,you are unwell so get plenty of rest and stop worrying what other people think or say.
Secondly,if your d's is happy with the child minder,why take him away?if you can cope financially,allow him to remain ,all your points make sense.
Enjoy this time with the anticipation of your new baby and getting everything ready.
If people make any further negative comments say "we as a family are happy and that's all that matters to me" and change the subject.
Good luck with everything🌻🌻🌻

userabcname · 05/12/2019 16:54

Do it! I'm doing it this year. We kept DS1 home for the first couple of weeks and he was miserable as sin. He is back with the cm now and loving it - they do lots of fun stuff I don't have energy for and I get to spend time bonding with DS2. If you can afford it then why not. Also I thought I'd feel guilty but it's actually worked out so well I don't feel bad at all.

Justasconfusedwithnumber2 · 05/12/2019 18:14

Thanks all its nice to see its a unanimous NBU as I was starting to feel like a crap mum which on top of all the other second time mum to be guilt I could do without!

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