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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I have paid for the coffee?

71 replies

TheOrigFV45 · 05/12/2019 11:05

Pub meal. Pre-ordered.

DS (aged 10) ordered Xmas meal, which is 4 courses. He only wanted the main course and the desert, but I ordered a starter as well.

I order a steak from the regular menu.

I ate his starter, had my steak and salad and no desert.

I also had a coffee.

Do you think I should have paid for the coffee as part of my order or is it OK to have regarded it as the one DS didn't have as part of his set meal?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOrigFV45 · 05/12/2019 14:21

Drinks (other than the coffee) were ordered and paid for separately at the bar - no issue there.

We had only pre-ordered food, not coffees/teas, which I think is normal, so when she came round at the end to ask who wanted tea and coffee, I said I'd have a coffee.

I didn't specifically say "it's the one that comes with DS's set meal and he's not having it" as it didn't occur to me and would have look at bit daft.

I suppose it wasn't noted that the starter was given to DS but I ate it, but it was noted that I asked for a coffee and so it went down on the bill separately.

It came up because the bill was more than I expected, so she ran through it and then I said I had the coffee that my son didn't have with his set menu. She sort of snarled and snottily deducted it from the bill.

She generally had a bit of a grump about her during the meal so maybe she was having a bad day.

It's been on my mind though so thought I'd ask.

OP posts:
OrangeZog · 05/12/2019 14:23

YWNBU. I imagine she was stressed and let it show.

lotsofstripes · 05/12/2019 14:29

YWNBU but what do you mean by snarled? I can’t help but smile at that, did she actually snarl? Like an animal? Grin

mrsm43s · 05/12/2019 14:46

Honestly, in this situation I would expect to pay, unless you'd specifically said that you want your son's coffee brought out. Your son declined (by not accepting) his coffee, so he couldn't pass his coffee to you. You ordered yourself a coffee, which they added to the bill in the normal way. I think if you had chatted to the staff they would probably have been happy to let you have his, but you didn't - you just ordered a coffee for yourself, and assumed they could mind read that it was your son's one that had been declined!

If I was a waitress and someone had spoken to me, I'd be happy to give the coffee for free. But without discussion, it does look like you're just blagging a free coffee, and I'd find it a bit rude.

That said, its a cup of coffee in a pub, its really not worth anyone getting het up over. Might be worth communicating a bit clearer next time, though, to avoid confusion.

adaline · 05/12/2019 14:54

Who snarls? Grin

Original poster
TheOrigFV45 · 05/12/2019 14:59

mrs yes, you've explained the situation well.

So, it's not the fact I had the coffee per se, it's that I didn't tell the waitress that it was the one from the set menu at the time of ordering it. It didn't occur to me. I wasn't trying to pull a fast one.

As you say, it's not worth getting het up over.

OP posts:
Aridane · 05/12/2019 15:20

YWNBU but what do you mean by snarled? I can’t help but smile at that, did she actually snarl? Like an animal?

That made me smile too

Original poster
TheOrigFV45 · 05/12/2019 15:32

Well, maybe not so much a snarl, more a grimace, like she wanted to say "whatevs" or something but tried to keep it in.
Maybe pursed her lips in a disapproving manner is better.
There was no growling, or baring of teeth during the interaction.

OP posts:
PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 05/12/2019 15:32

Do so many people really not know or understand what the word snarl means? If you have never heard it used in this context, I suggest you read more.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/12/2019 15:36

Well if you hadn't have had the coffee surely it'd only have been a 3 course meals so the offer wouldn't have stood anyway. She's just upset that she had to do about 3 seconds more work!

Cheeseandwin5 · 05/12/2019 15:41

The waitress does sound like she was a bit difficult, but I assume that is down to her and will effect any tip she receives.
I would not over think it though, people can have bad days but you shouldnt make it bad for you too.

coconuttelegraph · 05/12/2019 15:58

A person can snarl, that's not an unusual word at all.

It sounds to me like a simple misunderstanding, the person who prepared the bill just hadn't clicked that the set meal also included a hot drink. The waitress was proably annoyed that she had to re-do the bill and let her customer service slide a bit, imo you're overthinking it

MutedUser · 05/12/2019 16:04

You asked for it removed and it was. I really don’t get the problem here.

Original poster
TheOrigFV45 · 05/12/2019 16:09

No problem, I was just asking whether people thought I had done the right thing. Thanks.

OP posts:
Vanhi · 05/12/2019 16:13

In future when they ask if you want tea or coffee I would say "only the coffee that comes with the set meal thanks" just to clarify. But as you say, it's not really a big deal.

MutedUser · 05/12/2019 16:13

Yes you defined done the right thing I would have done the same. I wouldn’t take her snarl personally she will no doubt be rushed off her feet and frazzled at this busy time.

MutedUser · 05/12/2019 16:14

*definitely

PrettyPurse · 05/12/2019 16:21

@sarahjconnor - I'm intrigued about Nutella-gate!

sarahjconnor · 05/12/2019 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrettyPurse · 05/12/2019 21:48

WTAFShock ShockShock

PrettyPurse · 05/12/2019 21:51

Did he or anyone else ever give an explanation for his behaviour ?

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