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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I have paid for the coffee?

71 replies

TheOrigFV45 · 05/12/2019 11:05

Pub meal. Pre-ordered.

DS (aged 10) ordered Xmas meal, which is 4 courses. He only wanted the main course and the desert, but I ordered a starter as well.

I order a steak from the regular menu.

I ate his starter, had my steak and salad and no desert.

I also had a coffee.

Do you think I should have paid for the coffee as part of my order or is it OK to have regarded it as the one DS didn't have as part of his set meal?

OP posts:
MiniEggAddiction · 05/12/2019 11:50

Yeah actually I don't get this you ate his starter so why wouldn't you drink his coffee? Unless you ordered the coffee instead of desert and weren't clear about whether this was a valid substitute or he got a filter coffee with his meal and you ordered a cappuccino?

mrsm43s · 05/12/2019 11:52

Agree with everyone else -

If it was preordered, and paid for as part of DS's meal, then it doesn't matter who drinks it.

If it wasn't preordered, and you just ordered a coffee from the menu, then you should expect to pay.

If you turned down the 4th course when preordering, I don't think that you can then expect to claim it on the day for a different person, which is what I expect happened.

In any case, its a cup of coffee in a pub, probably not worth spending too much time fretting over. Hope you had a lovely Christmas meal :)

lazyarse123 · 05/12/2019 12:00

Surely they just presented the bill and you paid. So all good.

Bunney2020 · 05/12/2019 12:02

That's like saying you should have paid for the starter as well. If the coffee came with the meal you maid for then it's fine, it's odd to even consider otherwise imo.

sarahjconnor · 05/12/2019 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewName73 · 05/12/2019 12:02

What's the issue OP?

I often do this with the DC - if they order a set menu I will eat part of it if they don't want all of it, instead of ordering a separate starter or whatever for myself. That would include coffee - although i don't often see that offered as part of a set menu.

Deathraystare · 05/12/2019 12:13

I'm still annoyed my husband turned down his 'free with our meal' prosecco last month, I could have had 2!

He needs more extensive training!!!

BigFatLiar · 05/12/2019 12:17

Fine unless your son wanted the coffee himself (did it come with a mint chocolate?)

circlesandquares · 05/12/2019 12:17

YABU not telling us the issue here OP? What happened?

VenusOfWillendorf · 05/12/2019 12:18

So essentially, you had the four course, swapped mains with son and gave him the dessert.
Dont see the problem? Was there one?

thecalmorchid · 05/12/2019 12:21

I use a Taste card and sometimes order an extra (free) meal if only three of us are at the table. The taste card gives me two free meals of two are paying.

I think, why shouldn't I have my extra free meal. I usually order an extra pizza and get them to box it to take away.

I think if you've already paid for something then it's ok to consume it. Whoever eats or drinks it.

AryaStarkWolf · 05/12/2019 12:22

I'm still annoyed my husband turned down his 'free with our meal' prosecco last month, I could have had 2!

ltb!

Vanhi · 05/12/2019 12:30

I'd stop thinking about who consumed what and just go with what you ordered vs what you paid for. So one set meal of 4 courses and a main (plus another starter?) If the coffee is included in the 4 courses, it's included, whether you drink it, give it to a homeless person outside, or leave it to go cold.

Vanhi · 05/12/2019 12:33

Also, I'm assuming neither of you actually consumed the Sahara, although one of you might have had a pudding Grin

eddielizzard · 05/12/2019 12:38

No you should not have paid for the coffee if it was part of the set menu. So go on - did the pub charge you for it?

mrsm43s · 05/12/2019 12:39

But if the coffee was included in the set meal offering but was declined when pre-ordering (or subsequently), then I would expect a coffee for another person ordered on the day to be paid for.

If we use the example of @Disfordarkchocolate and the free Prosecco that her DH didn't take advantage of. If he had accepted the free Prosecco, then of course she could have drunk it instead of him. But since he didn't, if she then decided to have a second Prosecco after finishing her free one, would she really expect it to be given to her for free? Surely not!

If the coffee had previously been declined, then it wasn't "his" coffee that OP drank. It was a separate one that she ordered for herself, and should obviously expect to pay for.

Most pubs might give a bit of goodwill for the sake of a coffee though.

KaptainKaveman · 05/12/2019 12:57

It's 'dessert'.

'Desert' is either a noun, such as the Kalahari desert; or a verb - nobody should desert their friends in times of trouble.

MinervaSaidThat · 05/12/2019 13:15

Wasn't there a thread where an OP was charged again for a starter because it was part of someone else's meal?

KarmaStar · 05/12/2019 13:18

Why aren't you worried about eating the starter for the set menu,but are about a coffee from same menu?

Aridane · 05/12/2019 13:22

?

Aridane · 05/12/2019 13:24

I think if you ordered the coffee right at the start and not with the dessert then the restaurant probably thought you we're ordering a coffee for yourself. A bit l8ke of you ordered the dessert ahead of everything else

custardbear · 05/12/2019 13:25

So were they trying to charge you for the coffee as you drank it?
Personally I'd have thought it was fine, it wasn't like it was a bottomless coffee you both had, it was a cup as per of a meal deal thst was had by your tables order

KnightandDay · 05/12/2019 13:29

I'm really interested to know who told OP they were being unreasonable to prompt the post.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 05/12/2019 13:34

Once it's bought and paid for it doesn't matter who eats it........a pub near to me does two, rather generous courses for £10 so DD and I often share and ask for the starter come at the same time as.the main. DD will have the.roast and I'll have the ham hock terrine with crusty bread (( starter ))

Stravapalava · 05/12/2019 13:46

I'd say that was ok OP. DH and I never order dessert purposely as the DC never finish or don't fancy theirs from the child menu so we end up with it!