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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: A CF neighbour thread

150 replies

perplexedneighbour · 04/12/2019 22:36

OK, so this is a light-hearted(ish) AIBU – but I’d love some interesting advice on this very CF problem. With diagrams, of course.

We were cross, but we’ve decided to take a less stressful attitude. So, please consult my not-to-scale picture. We (US on map) – share the private lane with our other neighbours. None of us owns it, all of us have access rights in our deeds. We are the only people who use the North Exit. And we mostly use South as it’s easier. But North is better for large vans/ building equipment etc.

A couple of months ago, the tree (in bold) next to ‘A’ fell across the ‘A’ road. At the time, the ‘B’ option didn’t exist. CF cut the tree in bits, placed it completely over ‘A’, and strimmed/ dug / pulled out plants to create route B. (CF never uses A or B access.) A is easier than B for big vehicles, and we needed some deliveries, so we moved the tree branches so we could use A again. Next day, CF has put them back, with a sign saying it’s not our tree and we shouldn’t move it. (It’s not CF’s tree either.) We move the sign, and put the tree back – this goes on for several days, CF and us moving this tree every day. (We haven’t spoken to him for a variety of essentially sensible reasons. This is a silent row.) Then we get there one day, and the tree is where we left it, but he has gone and got a tractor, and placed an extremely heavy concrete block on the lane, completely blocking A.

We were pissed off and wondering how to move this block. But as it was making us cross, and he is a proper cunt according to other neighbours, we are thinking that actually, we’ll use his concrete block as a barrier, and build some sort of structure there. That means we effectively claim that whole corner – it’s not ours, but it now can’t be usefully used by anyone else. And it comes with the massive benefit of messing with CF’s head. We can’t let him think he’s won.

Any other suggestions? We are considering any kind of humorous/ passive-aggressive / non-violent protest, which preferably doesn’t involve us talking to him, which we know through experience would do no good and potentially some harm,( ie another concrete block which cuts us off from all access).

AIBU: A CF neighbour thread
OP posts:
perplexedneighbour · 05/12/2019 18:31

So many of these are making me laugh - DH will love it!

OP posts:
perplexedneighbour · 05/12/2019 18:36

Also Andypromqueen's suggestion that he has buried a body there seems most likely...

OP posts:
Rosspoldarkssaddle · 05/12/2019 19:29

Surely blocking the access, whether he creates a diversion or not, is not allowed. The right of access is along the lane as was. By blocking it and creating his own wood store, he is claiming land that is not his. The owner of the land and lane may lose it if he decides to maintain it for a period of time and claim it as his. Write to the owner and Express your concern. The wood is not his either.

carly2803 · 05/12/2019 20:03

direct approach!

"listen fuckface...."

great diagram OP!

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/12/2019 22:37

No idea why people have to be such twits but great diagram.

I would definitely have all the wood for firewood, I am HORRIFIED at the suggestions of tipping the wood..... shaken to my core... really..

I would put up a carport off the concrete block, but the other side of it from your house so you can drive straight out and still use the rest of access A... If you need to get shopping in, drive in via B, empty shopping then out via B and back in via A to park.

It is utter nonsense, but then ... so is he!

Attitude84 · 06/12/2019 17:29

Isn’t there anyone you can complain to? Get Mr CF brick layer told?

MyNameIsJane · 06/12/2019 17:48

I’m 2 pages in. Has anyone suggested a life size nativity scene yet?

sunshine11 · 06/12/2019 17:48

Are you sure he’s not planning on claiming the Foresty bit to the right of the picture and want to have a as part of that and then get planning permission to build on?

Personally I would be looking at the land registry deeds of that plot and A to understand who owns it. No way I would be putting up with his shit.

Jaxhog · 06/12/2019 18:09

How did CF build a road in a day?
Pretty impressive actually!

Seriously, I'd find out who owns the land and road and get them to take action. In the meantime, the party options sound good.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 06/12/2019 18:20

Some plywood on either side and voila, you have a skateboard ramp! You can keep going round the block, whilst yelling out 'rad' and 'bossed it'!

CorBlimeyGovenor · 06/12/2019 18:30

If he built a new road in a day, just think how many new roads your neighbours could build if you all pulled together. You should start work on road c!

mellicauli · 06/12/2019 18:32

A massive golden angel with a sign "Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All Men" Or a nativity scene as mynameisJane suggests you with a nice big "I Forgive You" sign.

Zaphodsotherhead · 06/12/2019 18:40

The wood can't be burned yet, if he's only just cut the tree down, you'll need to dry it out first.

Are there no local authorities involved in any of this? Cos I want to live somewhere where you can just make your own exits and entrances and roads and things - I can't even take my rubbish out at the back of my own house!

I'd take to wandering around the locality muttering 'Roads! Roads! Everywhere!'

hawesmead5 · 06/12/2019 18:42

Put a giant nativity scene on the block and then put different inspirational Christmas quotes on the side of the block each day e.g Christmas is not only a time of rejoicing but a time of reflection- Winston Churchill.

GlamGiraffe · 06/12/2019 18:49

@MyNameIsJane
I was just going to suggest the nativity too.
It must gave a speaker system playing silent night and other songs in the background on loop though. If you can get a real screaming baby even better!
I wanted to do that when I bought my house, as it turned out to have several more than annoying neighbours!

TopOftheNaughtyList · 06/12/2019 18:56

I'd get a plastic plaque made up with

Foundation Stone
Laid by Twat Neighbour George Smith
On the Eleventh Day of November
In the year of 2019

Obviously adapt with the correct details. Maybe put some little curtains round it to make it look like it has just been unveiled Grin

AIBU: A CF neighbour thread
ittakes2 · 06/12/2019 18:59

Are you serious? You lost me on the bit where you said you are not going to talk about the problem and are having a silent row. Sorry that is weird and childish.

MyNameIsJane · 06/12/2019 19:00

Grin @GlamGiraffe

SevenStones · 06/12/2019 19:06

Personally I would be looking at the land registry deeds of that plot and A to understand who owns it. No way I would be putting up with his shit.

Me too. Me neither.

Stegosaurus1990 · 06/12/2019 19:08

Organise a mulled wine, mince pie and Christmas song night for your close. Use the concrete block as a table.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/12/2019 19:12

Check your deeds and solicitors letter. He sounds horrible.

Stegosaurus1990 · 06/12/2019 19:15

Re “checking deeds” it’s really common to have random bits of land that developers leave behind, with the obligations for the houses to maintain jointly. It could well belong to the original developer, who now could be dead, dissolved or just not give a rats ass. It will be for access. There’s no need to “own” an access road, you just need a right to use it.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 06/12/2019 19:18

How tall is the concrete block? And most importantly, do you know any farmers or builders? This sort of thread reminds me of how far from normal civilised life I live, because it would take me about half an hour to get that block shifted (I am surrounded by farmers with loads of tractors and my favourite nephew has a couple of JCBs). If the nephew was cross enough, he'd drop the concrete block in front of the arsehole's front door.
Husband reckons he could source the materials to build a low bridge, which the concrete block would become a part of. Sad thing is, I believe him!
I have terrible tree envy now- I live in a place with no trees because it's too windy, and I really miss them.

manicmij · 06/12/2019 19:21

Set up a stall decorated with flashing lights and Christmas music. Then start cooking burgers/hotdogs for the neighbours as well as a party for the locals.

cookie4640 · 06/12/2019 19:28

Wanna borrow my tractor? Chuck his concrete block back infront of his door.... 🤷🏻‍♀️