Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you discipline your 3 and 4 year old for this behaviour?

52 replies

Hadtonamechangeforthis123 · 04/12/2019 18:11

Today they have done the following....

Locked themselves in the bathroom and flooded the bathroom floor then put a big towel and loads of toilet paper in it. Apparently they were trying to clean it up but I'm not convinced.

They've taken the two newly bought pieces of tinsel and shredded them all over the room.

They had rice with their dinner and whilst I was seeing to baby they've said they've eaten it and showed me their plates, I then find the floor is covered with it. They decided to eat it with their hands like animals apparently.

Nothing seems to have any impact on them - nothing! They will say they're sorry and they won't do it again and then seconds later they're giggling together.

OP posts:
tillytoodles1 · 04/12/2019 18:14

Not a lot actually. At that age they look for mischief and seem to find it everywhere.

Winterdaysarehere · 04/12/2019 18:15

99p Santa camera.
Switch it on 24 /7...

BigSandyBalls2015 · 04/12/2019 18:16

Close in age like that they do often gang up and do things that a single child or more of an age gap perhaps wouldn’t do ... speaking from bitter experience Smile.

They need closer supervision but that’s not easy with a baby.

Unicornhamster · 04/12/2019 18:18

When my eldest was that age the consequences had to be immediate and relevant to the act or he would forget and or just not be bothered. So I would have made him clean the bathroom up and then he would have had to ask permission next time he needed it or something, clean the rice up himself, do chores to pay for the tinsel (usually putting his Lego away). I don’t know if maybe that sounds a bit harsh writing it down but thankfully he didn’t tend to do it all in one day. Can’t be easy with a baby too so you do have my sympathy.

missyB1 · 04/12/2019 18:20

Like pp said they need to be made to clean up every mess they create, and if that means there is no time for TV or the park then that’s their own fault. It’s natural consequences!

MouseLouse · 04/12/2019 18:20

I don't think you can at that age.

My one DC is 3 and yesterday took a lightbulb out a side light and smashed it with a book while I was on the fucking toilet! (

takeittogo · 04/12/2019 18:20

Don’t worry OP Flowers

It’s annoying as fuck but they are learning. They’ve learned about absorbency and transparency. And how to piss off a parent. Grin

Eggies · 04/12/2019 18:20

Hahaha sorry OP that gave me a giggle. I have my second on the way and there will only be 15 months between them so I can imagine I'll be writing this kind of post in a few years lol

InDubiousBattle · 04/12/2019 18:21

Bathroom- move the lock higher! I would have cancelled any fun thing we were going to do next (even if I had to make one up!)and explained that we couldn't do it because mummy had to clean up in the bathroom.
Shredded tinsel. No tinsel for their tree then. We have a little tree for the kids to decorate, it was only cheap and it has made them be a bit more careful with the decorations.
The rice- my dd is 4.5 and I'd give her the dustpan and brush and make her clean it up. I wouldn't let them have anything else.

itsgettingweird · 04/12/2019 18:21

Natural consequences!

Bathroom locked from outside and have to ask to use it.

Have to wait for dinner until you can sit with them.

All tinsel is packed away until Xmas eve.

I still tell my 15yo that he's welcome to all the freedom in the world all the time he proves to me he's old enough to handle it.

You can explain that simply to 3/4 yo.

"Oh dear. I thought we could have tinsel now you're older but I was wrong. Let's pack it away now"

Children seem to love proving how responsible they are and the carrot often works!

Mishappening · 04/12/2019 18:23

Ah well - maybe they were not being naughty but exploring and experimenting. And trying to sort things out when it all went pear-shaped.

It is interesting to see what happens when you switch a tap on; and tinsel is shiny and fascinating (I wonder what happens if we pull this bit, and this? - wow, pretty silver shower all over the floor); eating with hands? - that's a great new idea to try - oh whoops it has gone on the floor!

I would not see any of this as being deliberately naughty - just curiosity and high spirits. How can you stop these things happening again?..........an extra pair of eyes maybe!?

It is hard to be everywhere at once. I have been there!!!

Good luck!

Footiefan2019 · 04/12/2019 18:25

Make them clean it up that’s what I’d do

Velveteenfruitbowl · 04/12/2019 18:25

We do timeouts for bad behaviour but then again our children don’t behave that way so I’m not sure it would work.

Purpleartichoke · 04/12/2019 18:28

Have them help you clean up.

Then start supervising better. Kids that age aren’t misbehaving, they are exploring the world. The destruction is a normal part of that. If you don’t want things destroyed, don’t give them time to destroy things.

dontcallmeduck · 04/12/2019 18:31

I’d just make them clean up the tinsel and rice whilst sitting watching making sure they do a good job. I’d help the 4 year old to hoover up any last bits. And yes as hard as it is with a baby, closer supervision.

Bluerussian · 04/12/2019 18:31

I've never had a child flood the bathroom and towels etc but know plenty of people whose toddlers did that, it's not uncommon.

Mine shredded tinsel or glitter dust all over the house but I remember doing that when I was little :-).

Just tell them off, stern voice and say you're not happy about it. I can't think of anything else, they are very small but they'll learn.

Good luck.

Gorbie · 04/12/2019 18:34

I personally would make them clean up all the mess, I'm afraid at that age they should know better

Emeraldshamrock · 04/12/2019 18:35

The naughty step I know it is controversial.
The first few times are a battle once they know you're serious they do it without question or take the warning to stop their behaviour.
Pick your battles.
Is he acting up due to the baby.

churchandstate · 04/12/2019 18:36

The 3 year old, not a lot. That sounds like fairly normal 3 year old behaviour and I would supervise more. The 4 year old should know better and I would remove a treat for the toilet paper incident.

“Like animals” is a bit harsh. Young children find rice tricky.

Emeraldshamrock · 04/12/2019 18:39

There is 2 Shock
Double trouble. Take away their favourite toy, set up organised play to keep them busy.

inwood · 04/12/2019 18:40

At that age why have they got access to the bathroom? You're setting yourself up to fail.

TargaryenBean · 04/12/2019 18:42

Cross post with itsgettingweird

YouJustDoYou · 04/12/2019 18:42

Mine were like that. I had to strap the baby either to me constantly, put her in her bouncer so I could deal with the toddlers, but they simply couldn't be left alone. All doors open all the time. The tinsel nd baubles, for when I needed the toilet, were at the top of the tree only. Nothing out they could destroy. Everything smearable/cuttable/etc locked or put out of each. It was hell for a number of years.

avocadotofu · 04/12/2019 18:43

That all sounds like age appropriate exploring to me rather than bad behaviour. If you don't like it I guess you will need to supervise them more if you don't like it. Perhaps they could help tidy up?

Lillyhatesjaz · 04/12/2019 18:44

I had hook over locks High up on the outside of my upstairs doors when DD was little to keep her out of rooms I didn't want her in. She would wait until I was talking to a guest to sneak up to the bathroom to eat soap.