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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think people can defrost their cars without running their engine all morning?

601 replies

shinysnowman · 04/12/2019 07:12

I start work in a couple of hours. I have been awake since 5am, due to a steady flow of neighbours who have sat in their car with their engine running, one actually revving their engine constantly, waiting for their car to defrost. The first at 5am, each for a good 15 minutes each. It's been the same every day this week.

Don't people scrape their cars anymore? Is it wrong for me to be annoyed and think that they are being inconsiderate?

(Apologies to those with DC who are dragged up with them at this time!)

OP posts:
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BuzzShitbagBobbly · 05/12/2019 11:07

I read recently a tip is to lower windows and turn off heating a few minutes from home, so the warm moist air get a chance to escape. (Presumably this only works on cold dry days, not cold, also-moist ones?)

I haven't managed to remember to try it yet, but posting in case someone else has a chance to test the theory!

adaline · 05/12/2019 11:14

I understand that alot of you are dependent on cars to get you to work and at all hours of the night and early morning but what i dont get is the lack of contrition and any empathy for your neighbours

What kind of contrition would you like, and what difference would it make? Confused

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:19

@TheHodgeoftheHedge

You don't have a choice about what time you have to get up. We acknowledge that.

You DO have a choice as to how to defrost your car. You and dozens of others on this thread have not acknowledged that.

@adaline

Contrition wouldn't make a difference to the noise, sure. But it would demonstrate some self awareness..

adaline · 05/12/2019 11:22

If someone knocked on my door to apologise for defrosting their car at 5am I would think they were utterly bonkers. I would also be thanking my lucky stars that I was able to stay toasty warm in bed while they were standing out in the dark and freezing cold!

Trewser · 05/12/2019 11:25

Why should people be 'contrite' about going to work at 5.30am?

Buy ear plugs and stop moaning.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 05/12/2019 11:26

Contrition wouldn't make a difference to the noise, sure. But it would demonstrate some self awareness..

Do you honestly think people are out in cold, dark icy mornings for fun or specifically to annoy people or something? Confused

Can you give an example of the type and level of contrition you expect us to show? I mean, do I need to get a mat before I prostrate myself at my sleeping neighbours' dark windows and (silently, of course) beg mercy or what?

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:27

Why do you think contrition can only take the form of "knocking on someone's door..at 5am" ?!

Of course that's absurd, and it's an example that could be designed to make people feel silly for thinking anyone could feel remorse for waking up their neighbour.

Look, your second sentence says it all. I'm sorry that people have to get up at all early hours of the morning, but don't make it a relativist issue by thinking "I can make as much noise as I like because my neighbour is lucky to be toasty in bed at this hour".

That mentality explains so much of why people are generally inconsiderate, because they perceive the next person to be better off so they "can take it" as they have a perceived advantage somehow.

Trewser · 05/12/2019 11:28

Hopefully you are full of contrition about laying in your bed nice and warm while others have to get up. Guilt would be nice as well if you really wanted to show self awareness. In fact, perhaps you could get up in solidarity.

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:29

@BuzzShitbagBobbly

Seeing as you need it spelled out..

It would take the form of looking at alternative ways to defrost the car that have been mentioned on this thread.

Rather than going "I'll use my car engine to defrost my car because I don't have a choice to wake up at this hour, and those neighbours are lucky to be in bed toasty and warm while I have to graft Hmm"

No it doesn't involve begging for mercy, that's ridiculous, but if you want to try and dismiss my argument by citing ridiculous examples so you don't have to look at more neighbour-friendly alternatives, then be my guest,.

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:31

@Trewser

Boom...there it is. Another bitter post claiming someone is "warm in their bed" while you have to get up..thereby meaning we all have to endure whatever noise you want to make at any hour, because you're "grafting".

I feel like buying a crappy old diesel car and doing a social experiment, starting my engine at 4am outside a local street, and then when I get complaints, or alternative suggestions to defrost, say "you're unreasonable...I'm out here grafting while you're all toasty in bed. Pity me, your'e the lucky one!"

Trewser · 05/12/2019 11:36

But that wouldn't work because you aren't actually going to work.

If you live on a street in a town don't you have to accept there will be other people's noise?

I don't have a single neighbour so I do what I like, but that's how I chose to live.

Actually sometimes the farmer uses bright headlights on the tractors to harvest at 3am which wakes me up, but I don't fuss because its his job and its not all year round - like the frosty cars.

adaline · 05/12/2019 11:36

Look, your second sentence says it all. I'm sorry that people have to get up at all early hours of the morning, but don't make it a relativist issue by thinking "I can make as much noise as I like because my neighbour is lucky to be toasty in bed at this hour".

Where has anyone said that? Hmm

People have to go about their lives. So long as they're not beeping their horns and blasting their music in the middle of the night, why is it something to get so worked up about?

I have neighbours near me who work nights, shifts, all sorts - they come home late at night and leave early in the morning. I can't say them defrosting their cars has ever bothered me in the slightest. They need to get to work!

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:39

@Trewser

Sorry that's a really odd argument. Yes, if you live in a town, you have to accept there will be other people's noise.

However what constitutes acceptable noise? The view on this will be different between two parties, which is why the OP posted her message in the first place.

You and many others think running a car engine to defrost, is acceptable noise.

I'm not saying that I don't - I get it - people have to go to work.

But it's the refusal of so many to actually consider any other alternatives...it's just "i'm going to work, that's it, sod you and any concerns you may have".

What if you lived next to a nurse who comes home at 0300, and is trying to get to sleep. A neighbour has to leave at 0500, they have options to use de-icer, hot water bottle, warm water etc...but no, they run their clattery diesel for fifteen minutes to defrost. Nurse gets woken up, struggles to get back to sleep etc...it's all so unnecessary, but it's the belligerence and entitlement of the first neighbour that's key.

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:41

@adaline

You ask me where has anyone said that?

There are loads of examples on this thread:

"Hopefully you are full of contrition about laying in your bed nice and warm while others have to get up."

"I would also be thanking my lucky stars that I was able to stay toasty warm in bed while they were standing out in the dark and freezing cold!"

etc...

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:42

I mean, that last one is just absurd.

Why should I, a person completely unconnected to you, need to thank my lucky stars that I am in bed, just because you happen to have a work pattern that demands an early start?

The churlish in me would suggest you should have made better life choices, but perhaps I'll leave it here.

adaline · 05/12/2019 11:43

@GinDaddy - neither of those "examples" are from people saying they're entitled to make as much noise as possible Hmm

Trewser · 05/12/2019 11:43

Gindaddy - lots of people have said that they don't want to use water because of the freezing on the ground, or deicer because it is poisonous to animals. I tried the hot water bottle this morning and it didn't really work! So you may have to accept that for some people running their car engine really is the best way to do it.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 05/12/2019 11:44

You need to get a bit of a grip. People have to work at all hours, and people also socialise at all hours. Unless we all move to Montana and live in perfect isolation miles form each other, noise is a factor for all of us, whether it is someone going to work or someone having a party or a baby or rampaging toddlers or the TV on max volume or whatever.

I can de-ice my car without starting it if you like, but it means a lot longer of me loudly scraping at windows. Although I'll still need to wait for the heaters to defog the glass before I can drive off anyway, so I'll still be sat there engine on, but as long as I am contrite about it that's ok?

(Or I can kill two birds with one stone and be on my way in a fraction of the time.)

There are some very odd people on this thread who think people with early starts are somehow belligerently and deliberately being noisy to show their neighbours a thing or two. I don't know anybody in real life who thinks that!

Trewser · 05/12/2019 11:45

The churlish in me would suggest you should have made better life choices, but perhaps I'll leave it here

Yeah, pretty churlish. Hopefully your neighbours carry on defrosting their cars how they wish and you learn to be more accepting.

Vulpine · 05/12/2019 11:51

Trewser dont worry i get up early too. But i cycle to work Smile

BourbonAndTea · 05/12/2019 11:52

I feel awful for scraping my car in the morning. I live in a cul-de-sac of bungalows, bedrooms at the front and only two families are under retirement age.

I leave it until I'm actually leaving to do anything, have a heated windscreen (front and rear) so turn that on (with the engine running) and proceed to scrape the side windows, then the rear and front which are easier once the heaters have been on. Takes about 5 minutes, but there's no other way of doing it.

Without the engine on takes around 20 minutes of scraping, then I still have to run the engine for a minute or two to demist (tried all the pads and cloths going and they just smear).

I'm interested to know what people who don't have to do this think we should do instead? I did used to use a windscreen cover, but that doesn't stop the need to scrape the other windows..

Should also say I don't agree with people leaving their engines running and going back inside for a cuppa!

Trewser · 05/12/2019 11:54

If I left my engine on, walked back into my house, made myself a coffee, came back out again, that would take about 5 mins and everything would be done. Then I'd probably turn off the engine and leave 10 mins later. Not sure why going back in the house for a cuppa is such a bad thing, better than sitting in the car stressing and makes no difference to the noise!

MiniEggAddiction · 05/12/2019 11:57

Why should people be 'contrite' about going to work at 5.30am?

Why deliberately misread a comment - you can't be that poor at comprehension. You should be contrite about chugging out fumes and making unnecessary noise at 5:30am.

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:58

@Trewser

Your plan sounds lovely until someone steals your car.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/car-stolen-child-inside-after-20920128

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 11:59

"There are some very odd people on this thread who think people with early starts are somehow belligerently and deliberately being noisy to show their neighbours a thing or two."

No, I don't think that.

I do think however there are some people who are in major denial that their actions could inconvenience another, because of the magical words of "going to work" which trump everyone else's rights.

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