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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked nursery gave my 2 year old serrated metal beer bottle caps to play with??

58 replies

Nonstopmummy · 03/12/2019 21:46

Please help mumsnetters I need some perspective on this! Took baby girl (just turned 2) for her first ‘settling in’ session at the nursery where she is booked in from January.... and found her sat there playing with a sharp serrated metal beer bottle cap! Looked around and realised in horror that they were in fact scattered all over the floor and she had a whole bowlful of them (plus a load of small plastic bottle tops too) which they had given the toddlers to play with as toys! I didn’t want to make a scene so I scooped them all up and put the bowl on a high shelf, saying ‘DD still puts choking hazards like that in her mouth’, and the room leader just said ‘that’s fine’. AIBU to be shocked by this? Having spent the last four years trying to keep such hazards AWAY from DS and DD - and having seen DS nearly choke on a plastic bottle cap of similar size - beer bottle tops seem to me the perfect size for getting stuck in a toddler throat plus sharp enough to rip her throat up trying to get it out!

Everyone I’ve mentioned this to so far (including my dad who was an A&E doctor for 30 years) has been as shocked as me - but the nursery staff, who are professionals and trained in paediatric first aid etc - obviously seem to think it’s absolutely fine! I know I could ask the nursery to remove them - but I’m not sure that I could trust them after this knowing that they clearly have such different ideas to me about toddler safety.... There aren’t any other nearby nursery options for DD but as I work from home it wouldn’t be a disaster if she didn’t spend the two mornings a week at nursery, I just thought it would be nice for her to socialise etc while I got a bit of work done. What do you think I should do ladies? All thoughts appreciated xx

OP posts:
SunshineAngel · 03/12/2019 21:53

I think that's an awful thing to let children play with. I would be reporting it as an incident, to be honest. And I would definitely think about moving to another nursery, too.

MrsBricks · 03/12/2019 21:56

I'd speak to the nursery manager about it.

Are they actually choking hazards? I'd have thought they were too big.
And are they really sharp enough to cut themselves on?

Ask the nursery manager about the risks and benefits.

Gre8scott · 03/12/2019 21:59

Its a loose part
They are encouring it in nursery's at the.moment they like the kids to use stuff like real crockery and glass stuff.
The this be marked down it they dont have that stuff

nespressowoo · 03/12/2019 22:03

Of course they are a choking hazard. I wouldn't be impressed, OP. YANBU

SquishySquirmy · 03/12/2019 22:03

Depends on how well supervised they were. DDS nursery used to give them small things that were potential choking hazards, but under supervision.
However if they were really sharp, that's different but most bottle caps aren't from my experience - they are crinkled but not sharp enough to cut skin.

Spied · 03/12/2019 22:04

I'd not be happy at home working thinking she's at nursery where they allow 2yr olds to play with bottle caps.
Don't send her. It's not worth the risk.
I wouldn't trust their judgement after that.

MrsBricks · 03/12/2019 22:04

No nursery will be "marked down" for not having loose parts or real glass Hmm

Footballmumto3 · 03/12/2019 22:07

Choking hazard !
Remember the choking awareness campaign with the little kodak film container thingy?
If it fit in there it was a danger.

Freddiefox · 03/12/2019 22:07

Oh the whole loose part trend 🙁... it will pass. The nursery are trying to keep up with the lastest trends but have got it completely wrong on this one..

Illeana · 03/12/2019 22:11

I wouldn’t send my child to a nursery where they’re given bottle tops to play with, it’s incredibly dangerous. DS plays with small things when he’s being supervised closely by a parent, but I wouldn’t be happy about him playing with them unsupervised in a group setting.

stophuggingme · 03/12/2019 22:12

Is this for real?
I’d love to know how 26%think this is reasonable

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 03/12/2019 22:13

No I wouldn't be happy about that at all, definitely speak to someone about it. What on earth were they thinking??

Frenchw1fe · 03/12/2019 22:16

If your df thinks it’s a hazard then that would be good enough for me.
Seems an unnecessary risk to allow small children to play with something they wouldn’t normally come into contact with.

Venger · 03/12/2019 22:21

When I was childminding I let small mindees (under 3s) use marble runs, glue plastic bottle caps to card to make pictures, thread beads onto strings, etc as part of their development but I was sat right there with them, actively supervising on a maximum ratio of 1:3 and if I had a child who I knew still mouthed things then I made sure that child was sitting right next to me. Leaving small children to explore the objects without close supervision isn't something I would expect from a good nursery.

I went to look at preschools for my 2yo lately, I viewed one that had a big wooden spool like the kind industrial hose or wire is wound onto, and they'd tied scarves and things around the top of it but with both ends tied to the spool to form hanging loops, loads of them. Children were playing with it with minimal supervision (staff in the room but not specifically at that activity) and they were doing things like putting their heads through the loops, nothing wrong with it per se but - to me - they should have been supervised while doing it. Child should explore risks however the adults involved should be there and ready to step in if needed.

Cremebrule · 03/12/2019 22:21

Mine have started doing the loose part thing but it is the pre-schoolers only and under close supervision as far as I can tell. The 2 year olds aren’t allowed the small part toys and they are quite strict about the 3 year olds going into their special room for small part play.

GetRid · 03/12/2019 22:22

A bottle top with wavy edges isn't going to cut a child's skin, but they are definitely a choking hazard. The nursery hasn't thought this through at all - therefore I personally wouldn't trust them.

Footballmumto3 · 03/12/2019 22:27

This is the time we live in though.
‘Loose parts’ is the new wanky basket.
Stupid gimmicks that tend to appear in times of world financial crisis. ‘Messy play’
Basically what it amounts to is that even when these institutions get away with charging £100 a bastard day ,they still have such shoddy equipment that they are making do with beer bottle tops, jelly, and a few old bath plugs from wilkos 🙄.

Awkward1 · 03/12/2019 22:28

When dc1 tried nursery we had various issues
One was one day dc came home with a pen lid in hand.
Another day i found a drawing pin in dc hood.

With dc2 at a group they had loads of stones out - i said i didnt think it was a good idea and they said tgey were from the nuraery baby room.

Tbh i think if you have child that puts small stuff in their mouth they will not be completely safe in a busy nursery (or at home).

Ive caught both dc with coins despite never leaving any about.

Ds1 survived toddlerhood with no major disasters, despite a liking for shoving food up the nose. And ended up with a gen anesthetic in yr r for sticking something up there.

Ive also thought this about groups using really food tins (with ring pulls) have they tested no young kids can open them and also they would be heavy if dropped on a foot.

LidiaM · 03/12/2019 22:28

I used to work at the nursery and left after a month changing my career at the same time and knowing that I will never sever send my child to one.
I am sorry, I am not trying to come across as rude or making myself looking like a better mum but if you really have an option of not sending her then just not.The practisioners working at tge nurseries arent as nice as when you go to pick up your child etc . They usually dont care and want their day to go as quick as possible , they dont care much about toddler needs like changing their nappies, changing wet pants , helping them with runny nose and the list go on.
I believe there are also some ladies that are meant to be and they love their job but you never really know.

Original poster
Nonstopmummy · 03/12/2019 22:31

footballmumto3 thank you great idea to check the size like the Kodak cyclinder! Just googled and found that in the US they have a Small Parts Regulation law banning objects smaller than 1.25 inches for children under three due to the size of throat - see below. And guess what - the beer bottle top is 1 inch in diameter so definitely a choking hazard!

“A small part is any object that fits completely into a specially designed test cylinder 2.25 inches long by 1.25 inches wide that approximates the size of the fully expanded throat of a child under three years old.”

OP posts:
WingingItSince1973 · 03/12/2019 22:31

This is a seriously strange play choice for children this young. You are being totally reasonable to think these are unsafe. Especially if scattered around and not supervised properly. Even if supervised it's still a weird choice! I would feel very uncomfortable with my little one going there. Sorry if I sound over dramatic but unless she has one to one care then they cant possibly make sure she doesnt pop one in her mouth x

Scarletoharaseyebrows · 03/12/2019 22:37

Pretty rotten if you stood on one too. Must be a better choice of (whatever the fad is called) . Mine choked on the dried pasta play years ago. If you're 2 and eat pasta, why would you not put it in your mouth? Nurseries are odd places.

BooHaa · 03/12/2019 22:39

Reminds me of the nursery my daughter attended for a few sessions. She left because she wouldn't settle but I was very concerned by the large Kallaxs they used as room dividers to create areas, they were stocked up well with equipment so would be terrible if they were pulled down, but noome could confirm to me that they had been tethered.

Footballmumto3 · 03/12/2019 22:41

@Nonstopmummy it was a clever campaign. Easy for people to grasp.
I know it used to be a thing in Montessori nurseries for children to scoop little pots of beans and peas. I used to hate it on a morning dropping my baby off and then seeing all these little pots of choking hazards lined up for the daily play 🙈
I couldn’t relax knowing my toddler (who ate everything) was in a room of dried kidney beans .
I had to change her nursery after a couple of weeks, not worth the stress!