To be shocked nursery gave my 2 year old serrated metal beer bottle caps to play with??

[Nonstopmummy]

Please help mumsnetters I need some perspective on this! Took baby girl (just turned 2) for her first ‘settling in’ session at the nursery where she is booked in from January.... and found her sat there playing with a sharp serrated metal beer bottle cap! Looked around and realised in horror that they were in fact scattered all over the floor and she had a whole bowlful of them (plus a load of small plastic bottle tops too) which they had given the toddlers to play with as toys! I didn’t want to make a scene so I scooped them all up and put the bowl on a high shelf, saying ‘DD still puts choking hazards like that in her mouth’, and the room leader just said ‘that’s fine’. AIBU to be shocked by this? Having spent the last four years trying to keep such hazards AWAY from DS and DD - and having seen DS nearly choke on a plastic bottle cap of similar size - beer bottle tops seem to me the perfect size for getting stuck in a toddler throat plus sharp enough to rip her throat up trying to get it out!

Everyone I’ve mentioned this to so far (including my dad who was an A&E doctor for 30 years) has been as shocked as me - but the nursery staff, who are professionals and trained in paediatric first aid etc - obviously seem to think it’s absolutely fine! I know I could ask the nursery to remove them - but I’m not sure that I could trust them after this knowing that they clearly have such different ideas to me about toddler safety.... There aren’t any other nearby nursery options for DD but as I work from home it wouldn’t be a disaster if she didn’t spend the two mornings a week at nursery, I just thought it would be nice for her to socialise etc while I got a bit of work done. What do you think I should do ladies? All thoughts appreciated xx

At some stage a child have to learn what to do and what not to do. If you never expose a child to things that can be hazardous when used incorrectly and teach them how to play safely it's all more tempting.

If they are supervised well and have been taught not to put in their mouth then I don't see the issue. Far worse to hide things away and then allow them to become tempted to try putting in mouths etc.

Our girls were all playing with things they could choke on from a young age but understood not to put things other than food in their mouth. It's not just choking that is the hazard of allowing a child to mindlessly shove things into their mouth, it's hygine also. At 2 a child should know not to put things in their mouth.

My son put everything in his mouth at that age so I would not have been happy with objects like that being available for general play.
It is not just about teaching children not to put things in their mouths as mouthing is an instinctive developmental stage which goes on far longer in some children. My son also didn't have any comprehensive of what 'dangerous' meant. Being able to not put things in his mouth came much later for him.

My DS once stood on a beer bottle top around an outside pool area and it really sliced into his tiny toes

I’m all for managed risk. My 3 year old lit a fire a few weeks ago under supervision. But, I wouldn’t be happy with a 2 year old being given bottle tops. What exactly are they learning with something that could be a hazard that they couldn’t with a more age appropriate toy? At that age, they’ll just trust the care giver and have no critical thought especially if they still mouth things.

Choking hazard aside, it’s also just an extremely inappropriate item for children to play with. They’re beer bottle caps! What next? Counting out cigarettes on the carpet and grouping them into piles of 10?! It’s weird, it’s inappropriate and I think it’s just plain wrong.
I can completely understand your unease at this situation. It would make me feel uneasy about it being a home from home experience too because it clearly isn’t. There are obviously going to be activities and resources that challenge and stretch the children’s capabilities and stun you in the process, as you realise what your child can do by herself (in my school, we’ve had children use proper tools: drills, saws, chisels etc to make certain things) but those activities have to be carefully planned and risk assessed and not expose the children to play things or ideas that are inappropriate for their age. I am pretty shocked.

That is not on!

My child was a nightmare for putting things in their mouth. I was still asking the nursery to keep a close eye on him at 3.5!

I would be furious with the nursery and wouldnt be going back.

Our girls were all playing with things they could choke on from a young age but understood not to put things other than food in their mouth. It's not just choking that is the hazard of allowing a child to mindlessly shove things into their mouth, it's hygine also. At 2 a child should know not to put things in their mouth.

well good for you that your 2 year olds were so obedient.

Back in the real world. It is developmental. The nerve endings in a childs fingers develop increasingly with age, and so for a young child/baby, they get more sensory information and feedback from their mouth than from their fingers. Once their fingers are giving them more information and feedback than their mouthm they tend to stop mouthing things.
This happens at different ages for different children, which is why some continue to mouth things for much longer than others.
And anyway, kids who have grown out of it, still sometimes do it. Why do you think all felt tip pen lids (presumably not just for toddlers) have to have a hole in them? because older children sometimes stick stuff in their mouths and then choke.

*My DS is 2.5 and understands entirely that when we say something is "dangerous!" that it could hurt him, and he puts it down/climbs down slowly/steps away.

Oddly enough because we let him experience controlled risk 🙄*

Yeah, but you wouldn't then ask him to sit down and play with it would you? That would be nuts...