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AIBU?

To find eczema one of the hardest things about parenting

104 replies

YukoandHiro · 03/12/2019 19:34

Honestly my daughter has a lot going on including asthma and food allergies but I honestly find the hardest thing her eczema.
For a long time it was under control but in the last fortnight or so it's gone absolutely wild again. She's 2.5 now and it's not going anywhere.... I'm so depressed about it. She's been on steroid cream most of her life. Every time she flares I feel like I've failed her somehow. It's hard because now she's at nursery part time they haven't the time to
Moisturise her head to toe every hour like I could at home - but I'm pretty sure that's not the only reason for the flare. I've no idea where it's suddenly come from 🙁
Anyway that's it really. It sucks and I'm out of ideas. Seeing her derm on Friday but just fed up of this cycle. Please don't say child's farm - that made things 100 times worse

OP posts:
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Fandoozle1 · 03/12/2019 19:52

I’m sorry OP. I can understand where you are coming from. My aunt had young children with very painful eczema (and life threatening nut allergies) and unfortunately it was barely contained by creams / emollients/ wraps.
However their conditions started to improve when they hit their teens (not as severe).
I know that doesn’t help you right now but I didn’t want to read and run.
Please don’t feel that you have failed your daughter- you are doing your very best in a situation that can feel like a losing battle. My eldest D.C. had eczema but not severe, and I often felt as you did, that I had failed her- but it’s a difficult condition to manage.

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Mrschainsawuk · 03/12/2019 19:59

Have you turned the heating on central heating really affects it you will need a humidifier to put moisture back into the air mainly in her room mine had all 3 too most allergys are gone now thankfully but flare ups can happen for no reason tooo

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MoMandaS · 03/12/2019 20:00

Does the moisturiser contain cetearyl alcohol, cetostearyl alcohol or anything that looks like those words? Many eczema sufferers are intolerant of it yet it's in most moisturisers.

Also, you are not failing her Flowers

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MoMandaS · 03/12/2019 20:05

Also I should say it's usually in the steroid cream too. You can ask for that in ointment form rather than cream. For moisturiser you need something like Diprobase ointment (not the cream).

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Isaididont · 03/12/2019 20:09

That sounds really hard for you, and frustrating. I wonder if there’s anything about her diet you could change? My friend had eczema and she went on a strict diet and it helped a lot (hers was incredibly severe but with your dd maybe josh a couple changes could help?)
My dh gets a little eczema and it’s always worse in winter. Thats probably why it’s flared up.
You sound like such a loving attentive mum, otherwise it wouldn’t bother you so much. You love & care for your dd and that’s what matters. I hope it gets better soon.

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Isaididont · 03/12/2019 20:10

*just not josh!

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berryhead2013 · 03/12/2019 20:11

Skinneez were a godsend for my son who had it from his neck to his toes ask your gp he also used qv cream bath oil and body wash
At night hydromol thick layer it's like lard then he wore the skinneez they are like moisturising gloves but for the whole body
On really stubborn bits icthamol was great
And portion to help them sleep and not scratch
You are not failing it is very hard work
Also ask for steroids in ointment form more moisturising than the cream xx

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Mylittlepony374 · 03/12/2019 20:16

Kawakawa Balm from Frankie Apothecary NZ (Google it) has helped people I know.

It is tough. You're doing your best. That's all you can do.

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Foghead · 03/12/2019 20:20

Have you kept a good diary? Ds and dds eczema is triggered by cows milk. It’s usually the culprit though a friends dd has been to so many specialists and they’ve concluded hers is triggered by dust. It’s very difficult for them.

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Isthisoneoknow · 03/12/2019 20:20

Aw OP Flowers

You’ve not failed her. I was the same as your DD and at 29 mines still bad now! Just one of those things but I never once thought badly of my parents. They always tried treating it as best they could.

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loveisanopensore · 03/12/2019 20:24

You're not failing. You're trying you best.
I've had it all my life, it's a bastard.

Usually can keep it on an even keel but recently when the central heating went on it flared up. The skin around my eyes got itchy and swollen. I found a cream called adex gel helped as it was anti inflammatory as well as moisturizing.

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WinniePig · 03/12/2019 20:33

It is horrible! My son fortunately outgrew his eczema by his first birthday (but has held on to his dairy allergy). I read this Guardian article by the wonderful author Maggie O’Farrell. I’m reposting here in case it contains any helpful nuggets.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/21/life-with-extreme-eczema-maggie-ofarrell

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DoesItGetAnyBetter · 03/12/2019 20:41

I feel your pain.
DS suffered badly with eczema. We tried umpteen different moisturisers etc. and it really did feel like a constant battle. The good news is it did get better with age. Now at 8 he is much better. Still has some patches that flare up now and again but much better than it was. I would recommend:

Dermol anti microbial moisturiser
Using a stronger steroid for a shorter period of time.
Cotton gloves to stop scratching
Cotton clothing
Avoid bio washing powder and limit strong fabric softeners
Moisturising before bathing and more moisturiser whilst wet
Keep a food diary to see if anything triggers a flare up. (Apparently things like strawberries are notorious for affecting eczema babies)

Most of all keep your chin up. X

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ChatWithMe · 03/12/2019 20:42

Our son had bad eczema when he was 1 year and the management of it caused many rows between my husband and I. We had different views, strategies. Anyway thank God we tried Doublebase (£11 from Boots for a big pump container). The texture is soothing and sort of seals the skin off. His eczema got much better after that. I wish you the best of luck x

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Spanglybangles · 03/12/2019 20:43

I realise different things work for different people, but Lush Dream Cream works to keep my DD’s eczema under control at the moment, so may be worth a go (if you haven’t already tried it).

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WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 03/12/2019 20:47

@YukoandHiro Sad Flowers
I've suffered from severe (hospitalising) eczema since about the age of 3.
I hear you
Now I have a child who suffers from it too.
Things people say helps, a lot contains parabens which is a well known skin irritant.
Body Shop and Lush products found bad for this
Keep cool, cotton clothing as much as possible, NO fabric conditioners, non bio washing powders (find persil the best and not too strong smelling) , oat baths (muslin square or (clean!) pair of tights chopped off at leg and fill with oats - run under warm tap and squeeze. Milky stuff goes into bath and is soothing on skin

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Sofast · 03/12/2019 20:50

I feel for you. My MIL had a really crap time with my husband, hes still got it bad now I feel so sorry for him. My eldest seems to have about grown out of it, she had it bad but now she only gets little flare ups on her wrists, shes 5 btw. My 18m old has it bad, the backs or her knees, lower back and head are such a state, actually her arms are bad to. I feel so guilty and so sorry for her. Reducing baths to once or twice a week helped my eldest a lot, i use aveeno eczema therapy, I've never seen it in the shops so buy online for £15 a bottle, it's the best stuff I've found, that and a little hydrocortisone but tbh it's still bad atm

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SalemShadow · 03/12/2019 20:50

"Child's farm" moisturiser is fantastic! Only a few quid and clears up really nasty eczema. I had terrible eczema on my leg. It was red raw and bleeding and within one day of using this the difference was visible. No itching and starting healing very quickly. Would def recommend.

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SalemShadow · 03/12/2019 20:51

Oh sorry I just saw you said not that. Can I ask why?

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Wolfiefan · 03/12/2019 20:54

@SalemShadow OP said that made it worse. Confused
I’m on immunosuppressants. I still need to apply emollient about 10 times a day. Can nursery do more? The cold and heating in the house doesn’t help me.
Also watch out for MI methylisoalizone (sp?). LOTS of people with eczema react to it. In liquids. I’ve changed shampoo and shower gel and washing up liquid and what I wash clothes in. It has really helped.

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pollysproggle · 03/12/2019 20:55

My son is the same OP. It's a daily chore to keep him clean and moisturised. His hands will crack and bleed and become covered in scales practically overnight.
I've tried everything, every cream and potion going. I'm sick to death of people asking me if I tried childs bloody farm!!

One day we're doing good and skin is clear, the next he looks like I've poured a kettle of boiling water on him. Cannot win. His sleep is awful because of it too. Tossing and turning and always itching.

The strong steroid works when it's very bad (mometasone). Oats in tights in the bath has been better for us than any shop bought bath additive, epiderm cream we like too and good old sudocrem now and again.

Every eczema case is so different and GP's never know what they're talking about, always conflicting advice and an unwillingness to supply steroid creams! The children's dermatologist was the best advice so I follow their advice with regards to steroid cream usage.
My DS is 3.5 now and I cope a lot better with it than I did a year ago and his skin is also better than it was a year ago so hoping things can only get better and he'll grow out of it eventually.
I feel you- it's awful.

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SaveTheTreesPlease · 03/12/2019 20:56

Sympathies OP. DS has had eczema since early toddlerhood and the only thing that has brought it under control is this miraculous stuff: www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/balmonds-skin-salvation-60033955
Worth a try if you haven’t already?

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marvellousnightforamooncup · 03/12/2019 20:56

My child at that age had terrible eczema. It cleared up within days when we stopped giving him cow's milk.

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TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 03/12/2019 20:57

It is awful, I hate it! Such a battle

Only figured out my son’s eczema was caused by dairy recently, and he is 17 Blush

Having been sent from pillar to post, but the GP laughing when I asked to see a dermatologist (we cannot start sending kids with eczema to the derm! Imagine if we did that), finding new GP, seeing paediatrician, tried all the ointments/washpowders/ bathed sparingly etc etc

But nobody ever tested him for dairy. He spent 16 years with awful reflux and later eczema, when he got flu last year he did not drink milk for 3 weeks, and it cleared completely for the first time ever

He no longer has dairy, his eczema is gone, the scars are still everywhere. But why in the name of God did no GP or paediatrician we saw ever suggest this?

Clearly I failed as a mum too...

But what a lot of stress we have had, and the scarring is still there Sad

Bloody dairy

Hope you find the triggers quicker than us FlowersFlowers

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Sofast · 03/12/2019 20:57

Childs farm definitely made my younger childs worse to

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