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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to share holiday accommodation?

34 replies

DreamingofSunshine · 03/12/2019 11:10

DH, DS and I are going on holiday in January, long haul destination but cheap once you are there. We've booked accommodation but can cancel it.

DMIL and SFIL have said they would like to join us, possibly for one of the two weeks, or the whole time. I get on well with them and would be very happy if they came with.

The only issue is that they want to share accommodation and we don't - we really like our own space, and think it makes for a better holiday if everyone has space. This goes for holidays with my family, friends, and SIL and BIL. MIL and SFIL can afford to pay for their own accommodation, but are very keen to share.

AIBU to think two self catering apartments next to each other is close enough?

OP posts:
FelixFelicis6 · 03/12/2019 11:12

Yes. How annoying. But what does DH think? Ultimately he’ll have to be the one who puts his foot down since they’re his parents!

fishonabicycle · 03/12/2019 11:13

If you aren't happy to share, don't. There's no need to.

Mrsjayy · 03/12/2019 11:16

Well your husband will need to broach it with his parents and say yes of course but book a hotel, some people are fine sharing but you are not the in laws need told this before it becomes a huge deal.

Mrsjayy · 03/12/2019 11:17

Missed the last line Blushyes 2 self catering places next to each other is fine

Original poster
DreamingofSunshine · 03/12/2019 11:21

Thanks all. DH will communicate the message but I wanted to get a sense check of if we were being unfair. I've always hated sleepovers /sharing rooms and I think DH and I have survived being together thanks to a spare room so we both have somewhere to escape to!

OP posts:
nibdedibble · 03/12/2019 11:21

Well I have sworn never, ever to go on holiday sharing a house with the in-laws again, even though we get on all right. (It's been 9 years since we last did, I have stuck to my guns.)

Your instincts are right.

StrayWoman · 03/12/2019 11:21

Then tell them you dont want to share. Tell them to get their own.

Lovemenorca · 03/12/2019 11:23

You obviously get on very well and are close

So why not just talk to them?

Lovemenorca · 03/12/2019 11:23

Absolutely not being unfair

timeforawine · 03/12/2019 11:26

I wouldn't share, did once and wasn't fully relaxed despite getting on well, this time we were in a hotel with separate rooms, much better! :-)

Betterversionofme · 03/12/2019 11:32

No way, say you want lots of sex/ another baby and you were hoping they would take your child to their apartment.

Crankybitch · 03/12/2019 11:34

Could you share for a few days then have your own place for the rest of the time?

Straycatstrut · 03/12/2019 11:41

Yeah I'd hate that. Especially if you're eating out together too. Way too much.

If I didn't have a private space to go to when I'd had enough of socialising I'd feel suffocated. You don't just want to "go to bed" either or you look rude. I'd also hate the awkwardness of people being there in the morning.

Two apartments next to each other I wouldn't even like, but extremely preferable Grin

Straycatstrut · 03/12/2019 11:42

No way, say you want lots of sex/ another baby and you were hoping they would take your child to their apartment.

Grin

Or just have very loud noisy sex on the first night and they might request their own place.....

cstaff · 03/12/2019 11:42

They should be delighted that you are willing to go on holiday with them. Sharing an apartment is way too much. You definitely need your own space - even from your own DH at times.

Quartz2208 · 03/12/2019 11:45

I love my parents but we shared an apartment once and it was tricky - one bedroom was upstairs and ensuite the other downstairs and much darker. Less space etc

We went back this year and had an apartment each it was so much better!

starfishmummy · 03/12/2019 11:47

My in laws like to come and join us on UK holidays. There's a reason why we pick cottages that are only big enough for us. They get to stay in a hotel nearby.

SpiderCharlotte · 03/12/2019 11:51

I wouldn't even consider going if it meant sharing. YANBU at all.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 03/12/2019 11:52

Oh, but Mil and Fil, I wouldn't want DS to disturb you on your holiday or be disturbed by holiday sex Grin

fruitbrewhaha · 03/12/2019 11:56

Unless you have booked an enormous house then no YANBU.
Are they trying to crash on the sofa in the living room?

DarlingNikita · 03/12/2019 11:59

YANBU at all. People need their own space. You'll enjoy meeting up with them more this way.

rhubarbcrumbles · 03/12/2019 12:04

YANBU. We get two s/c units next to each other when we go away, we have breakfast and our evening meal together in one or other of them and enjoy a glass or --three- two of wine together and then go back to our own units to sleep.

Drum2018 · 03/12/2019 12:10

YANBU. Just tell them they are welcome to come on the holiday with you but you are having separate accommodation. Don't say you 'would prefer' or you 'think it would be better' - just say you 'are having'. You don't need to get into explanations about why. If they are not happy with that then that's their problem. Don't make it yours.

MiniEggAddiction · 03/12/2019 12:16

YANBU, you're being very accommodating having them along at all. Be very firm say no you don't want to share accommodation but they're welcome to book next door.

dontalltalkatonce · 03/12/2019 12:31

Totally NBU! I can't even share with myself, but with others? NFW! Be very firm and say 'Sharing accommodation doesn't work for us. We like our own space. You'll need to get something else.'