Lost it and swore at young DD

[EeeyMacarena]

Hi all. Name changed for this as I’m so upset and ashamed 😢

DD is 10 months old and in the midst of teething, so is spectacularly grumpy. She was refusing to sleep, even after Calpol and teething gel, so in desperation I put her in the pram and took her for a walk around town, which normally sends her off to sleep if nothing else works. She cried for the entire 15/20 minute walk and was getting more and more worked up with each minute.

I stopped and, thinking maybe she was hungry, I took her out of her pram and attempted to feed her, but she just kicked and thrashed and cried even more. I then tried to put her back in her pram but she arched her back, shrieked, and was rolling around like a crocodile which made it nigh on impossible to get the straps over her.

I admit that at this point I was at the end of my tether. She had been crying for most of the day and I was exhausted. But that’s no excuse. As she continued to roll around I exclaimed ‘FFS DD’s name! Will you stop?!’. I didn’t shout it but it was louder than my normal speaking voice. She didn’t take much notice but continued to scream and thrash. Eventually I managed to strap her in and I just walked around and around town with her, and eventually she fell asleep.

I felt guilty and regretful as soon as I said it, and now I feel so bad I know she was only crying because she was tired/in pain. I mean, like most mums I’ve gotten frustrated with her before, but I’ve never sworn AT her before Feeling like a pretty awful mum right now. I would never hurt her and it never crossed my mind to, but the fact that I could get angry enough to swear at her....

Please say I’m not alone in this and others have done this

I swore at my 10 month old yesterday, felt the guilt straight away so you’re not alone! I don’t plan on making a habit of it but it just slipped out!

The annoying thing is they don't get it anyway, so it doesn't stop them in their tracks. My DS is 3 now and if I rarely shout he instantly cries .. that really helps with the guilt I certainly mutter FFS a lot in my head. I read it in one of those blogger mummy books l was bought before he was born. Totally didn't get it then, thought the women was mean, but now I do.

Tomorrow is a fresh start.

I really shouted at my 18 month DD tonight, before bed she had the biggest meltdown in her life so far, throwing herself around, smashing into things, hurting herself by bashing into furniture etc and it scared me but also made me angry as it was so DAFT! So I picked her up and shouted STOP IT very loud and it shocked her, and it did take the edge off the thrashing, I honestly don't know what my other option was there. A cuddle would have meant getting headbutted.
So I imagine you snapping today was pretty much all that was left to you! I felt bad and apologised to her even though she doesn't know what's going on and doesn't give a shit mid tantrum anyway but I feel your guilt. But also feel, we're human and babies are difficult! 😂

Oh, OP, you are fine!

Of course you feel guilty, and I would too, but she won't have understood, and you will have given her lots of cuddles to make up for it.

I don't think you have perspective on what is bad parenting, TBH. Did you hurt her or frighten her in a lasting way? No, not at all. She did not even notice, as you say yourself.

FWIW my parents were pretty awful, and when I worry about bad parenting, of course I dislike the idea of snapping at a 10 month old baby, but I know perfectly well that what leaves actual damage is not that.

@Andysbestadventure that photo will haunt me to the end of my days. Good god.

She won't even remember it.

We've all reached the end of our tether from time to time, despite what the odd sanctimonious poster on here has tried to tell you.

Don't worry about it. You are normal and your baby will be fine.

Really virtuous people don’t judge others, they help them to be better next time.

^

This, really.

We've all done it, op.

Kids can be arseholes OP even angelic tiny babies, we've probably all snapped at some point and your incident sounded very mild and its proof that it was mild because your naughty baby didn't even flicker ! Sorry your poor baby isnt naughty just in pain. Have a nice glass of wine op once dad comes home or a hot bath.

My DS (2) doesnt tantrum but has selective listening skills and I'm so chill asking him to put his shoes on but by the 5th time I'm screaming at him. I'm not much of a swearer but I certainly have thought it! Last week he said "I love you so much mummy but I don't love you when you shout at me". Felt pretty small then.

I think it's ok to apologise to them when you lose your shiz and explain why it happened. Everyone has tough days...you and your little girl.