Its a long one:
So I have a pal who i've been friends with for 14 or so years. When we were around 19, he got his first girlfriend. They got engaged after two years and it was all very lovely and exciting (big engagement party). They then moved in together and things started to go south a bit. 5 years later then did end up getting married and it was a lovely big wedding, beautiful venue etc. In the background when he was with friends and she wasn't there, he would always be slagging her of saying she was pressuring him to get married, pressuring him to have a baby because its what she wanted within a certain time frame. Whenever I would be with them as a couple, they openly bickered (almost every single time). They were clearly unhappy.
So they bought a house and had a baby. It was all going pretty nicely. A couple of years ago, he told me that she had found out she could not have any more children.
They ended up breaking up (after 12 years together). It was all horribly messy. He was suspecting her of cheating on him. Spoiler: She probably was..) He ended up putting a listening device on some kind in her phone so he could listen to what she did in the car when she went for her 'late night drives'. She had met a new friend and started going to gigs with him, dressing up etc.
So yeah they split up. Both behaved badly. Small child in the middle. He moved back in with his parents (he is now renting a place). Im not sure what she did... I think they sold their house, but I don't know where she moved to. They kept seeing the girl jointly which is good.
He has since tried dating but that hasn't gone brilliantly as he clearly isn't over his ex.
She has just got engaged.. She has been with her new fiancé for a year. There was likely to be some overlap with her and her ex.
AIBU to think that this is:
- super quick (to divorce and get engaged within the same year).
- harsh to put it all over facebook knowing it would get back to her ex
I know replies will likely come from all angles as they were clearly so unhappy for so long and dragging out a bad relationship, but still.. there was love there at some point and it all feels so horrible towards him and malicious in a way.