Inheritance split - what’s fair

[Taraohara]

Parents who are not Outwardly wealthy but saves carefully for their children.

They have 5 children oldest pretty well off . 6 figure salary. House around £1 million mark and London rental. No kids. 2nd eldest, stable job comfortably off. Old enough to have been able to get on property ladder . Nice house. 3rd Newly married One baby. Stable job. Small house . Unlikely to manage next house for considerable time due to wages. 4th chaotic . Drink / drugs issues lives with parents. Youngest is single just starting out in work . Lives with parents. No savings .

What’s best way to split inheritance?
Equal for all?
Or split according to how much each would need ?
Not a thread about If inheritance is to be expected or not .
One parent thinks it should be equal split as unequal may lead to problems down the line

YABU = split equally
YANBU = according to need

Equal no matter their financial position

I know a woman who’s parents left her entire inheritance to her sister S at the time of making the will the sister was in a bad place and the woman was comfortable. Woman ended up leaving her husband and the sister married a millionaire... it needs to be fair from the start

I know a woman who’s parents left her entire inheritance to her sister S at the time of making the will the sister was in a bad place and the woman was comfortable. Woman ended up leaving her husband and the sister married a millionaire... it needs to be fair from the start

Apart from any perceived sense of fairness in 'evening things up', surely people realise that personal circumstances change, don't they? If you're on your death bed and have never got around to making a will, it's a lot more understandable to do something like the above.

That said, just because YOU are about to die doesn't mean that those to whom you're leaving life-changing sums won't experience big changes over the next few decades of their own future lives.

As for fit, healthy people in their 50s or 60s making a will based on the current circumstances of their young-ish adult children, do they really think that their respective positions on life couldn't ever possibly change?

@IAmNotAWitch
This happened to a friend of mine, aunt left money to her plus some charities. Df’s Dh was executor, the charities were a complete pita hassling for the money before it was all sorted.

I have two adult sons. One has special needs but still works but will never earn much over minimum wage. The other has the ability to earn well if he continues to progress in his career.
I will be splitting everything equally which will give them both enough to buy a small property outright if they haven’t already done so or I havent already downsized and shared out the cash beforehand.

You never know what the further holds so it is only fair that it is 50/50 but I hope that I have bought my kids up well enough that they will always look out for each other once I am gone.

Always equal

Equal split
I'm one of 4 - all with very different current circumstances, my mum wrote her will unequally and unfairly many years ago partially because my youngest brother was still a dependent but partially because she played favourites. She never changed her will, yet over the years our circumstances all changed. Mum got Alzheimer's and it turns out she'd never changed her will even though none of us are dependent any more and , it's now too late. She's still alive and there is unlikely to be much left when she dies.
I am in charge of her paperwork and as part of this she gave me the will (I am also the executor) I have decided not to share it with my siblings until she dies as it will cause much bitterness. My only hope is that her care eats through every last penny.

Chris Evans’( broadcaster) mother split the money equally among her three children , despite the fact that Chris Evans is a millionaire.

I think it's easiest to split equally as you love your kids equally.

I'd rethink if one of the kids might need care forever though.

@IAmNotAWitch slight side-step but, as wills are invalidated on marriage, if a Widow re-marries, what is the status of the will?

The thing about joint wills is that while the surviving spouse can change their own will, the provisions of the first will still stand.

My mother died some time ago, and since then I have owned a proportion of the house my father still lives in and owns half of. He could have changed his will and left it all to the cats' home, or could have got remarried and left everything to new wife by default; but I and my siblings would still own half that house between us.

(Not entirely sure how legal it would be to make another joint will so that his new wife would get to live in the house till her death.... ianal and it was never going to be an issue)

Difficult one who knows what's round the corner. The well off sibling could.lose everything the poor one may get a better job eventually.
As for the drug dependent child, I'd definitely leave it in trust for some else to look after or it will be gone within a week and the rest of the siblings could be left to pick up the pieces.

Equal because 1. You don't know how circumstances might change and 2. Rightly or wrongly people often equate the amount they are left in a will with how much they were loved or regarded and you don't want to penalize the successful siblings in that way.

HOWEVER - if the older siblings have had better luck on the housing market because they were older and able to buy at a better time, or were older and received more help from the parents at a certain point then why not have the parents help out / boost the younger siblings now and then split the estate equally when the time comes.

Always equal. Even if one of the offspring is a multi millionaire they are still entitled to their share.. and it is nobody else's business what they choose to do with that money, they could decide they want to give it to charity... But they should still receive it no question

Another vote for equal.

Circumstances change, it's that simple. The sibling married to a rich Banker may flee the marriage due to domestic violence; the struggling art student may get a lucky break and out-earn everyone. Two examples from my own social circle off the top of my head!

I thought equal until I read about drug issues.

Giving money to people with those sorts of issues is never a good idea.
Not nice to not give them anything though.

It’s a hard one.

Not sure if you’re legally able to put a clause in for number 4 that a drugs test is passed to be able to get their share. If a fail it gets split between the others?

Who knows.

Need to check legal issues though the question is equal or according to need as in Scotland you cannot diss inherit a child. So no option in that part of UK to leave a child out of any kind of Will. Made mine years ago in England and have been meaning to check this out to see if law has changed here too. Think equal shares for all in this instance.

It can't be anything other than an equal split. Anything else tells your kids lot abut how you felt abut them, how you prioritised one over another, felt one was more or less deserving.

It isn't about cash, it is about regard. An unequal split in a will says a lot of negative things that can sow such discord!

As for the 'druggie' that is tough, but parents should be doing something abut that whilst they are alive, surely?

@CrisisMummy

I'm not a lawyer and don't know the ins and outs of it but DH have, as part of our current wills, something that protects the children's inheritance from my half (and vice versa) in the case of marriage after death.
For us, this is essentially the house. As soon as DH were to sell it 50% would go to the children as stipulated in my will. So, worst case scenario, they could potentially lose 50% of their inheritance were the other parent to change their will after death.

That's my layman understanding - I'm no expert.

Equal. I can’t actually believe anyone would think anything else was acceptable.

Equally

YABU split equally. It is the law in certain countries and for good reason. Unless one child is disabled or similarly received an unequal chance in life, then regardless of how financially successful a child has been or not been an inheritance should be split equally.

I would say split equally. Who knows what position beneficiaries may be in when the time comes.

Equal.

If one of the siblings had e.g. spent 15 years as a carer for the parents and the rest had all moved to Australia the situation might be different, but it sounds as though the parents have only cared for the children.