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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have got it so wrong

72 replies

HalyardHitch · 01/12/2019 09:18

Took ds1 to the gp on Thursday morning. The GP checked him and called an ambulance. It was there within minutes and were taken into resus.

I got it spectacularly wrong. I didn't realise he was that sick. Considered OOH overnight but didn't consider him sick enough to justify it. I ignored the uneasy feeling I had.

OP posts:

changeforprivacy · 01/12/2019 10:30

*soon

Bunnyfuller · 01/12/2019 10:32

Even IF you’d done a paediatric first aid course, I’m pretty sure ‘work of breathing’ is not covered at first aid level. Ditto ‘breathing fast’ - without you knowing the normal resp rate, and why it increases, you would not know.

Children compensate for a long time before suddenly going downhill very fast. Parents are often caught out, as are doctors. The night before he didn’t seem as poorly, and tbh you’d have probably been sent away with ‘it’s a self-limiting virus’. By the time you got to the GP things had progressed.

We have it drummed into us so much ‘don’t go to the doctor with a cough’ (and actually if we all went to the GP at the apex of any cold) that you rely on that and don’t go to the GP. I had a cough and temp for 3 weeks and by the time I got to the GP it was pneumonia. The GP. Said to me ‘why didn’t you come earlier?!’. Well, because everything tells us to not go for coughs/colds and we haven’t had fricking gazillion of years training! (Or a stethoscope!).

To anyone saying ‘you just know’ - I say sometimes you know, and sometimes you don’t. Symptoms are often very vague news, and not like they show on TV.

Hope he’s feeling better

Singlenotsingle · 01/12/2019 10:33

You're not a doctor, are you? You couldn't be expected to know. Tbh, recently I went to the doctor with shortness of breath, thinking it was a touch of asthma and I needed a puffer. The GP sent for an ambulance and had me taken to hospital PDQ complete with blue lights. It was heart problems!

Rudolphsjinglebells · 01/12/2019 10:33

Similar happened with ds before.
He has frequent chest infections and asthma.
One Sunday we were due to go to see Santa (an hour and a half away from home). I knew he wasn't well but thought he would be ok until we got back that evening.
Took him to out of hours doc that evening and they sent him to a&e. He was admitted due to low oxygen levels. It took 3 days before the level came back up to the normal level.
The scary thing is it just looked like a normal chest infection, he didn't look like he was low on oxygen and if it happened again I wouldn't know until he got to a&e and he checked it there.
I'm sure this does happen to others aswell so don't be hard on yourself. In future just trust your gut.

Passthecherrycoke · 01/12/2019 10:34

It’s ok OP. Almost exactly this happened to my sister- and she’s a medic.

Hope he’s feeling better

Rudolphsjinglebells · 01/12/2019 10:36

Even for myself I recently had difficulty breathing during pregnancy. I thought it was normal and did nothing. Mentioned it to my midwife a few weeks later and ended up with a&e. Very low iron levels meant one of my blood cells had gone low and my heart was racing to make up for it. But I had gone on thinking it was 'normal '

Jodie77 · 01/12/2019 10:40

I've taken all of mine at one point or another to GP or OOH and ended up in A&E or a ward instead. Equally I've decided to go straight to A&E and been sent home again and told to ring the GP or OOH if they get worse. It's really hard to make that judgment call. 111 tend to always send you to hospital with little ones anyway just in case, but I have been made to feel like I am making a fuss about nothing even with some scary symptoms.

AFairlyHardAvocado · 01/12/2019 10:48

You poor thing what a scare. How is DS doing today?

I think things like this are more common than we think it's just something people don't volunteer stories of until someone else does.

We were always taught that if you could still walk there couldn't be a leg break, which turned out not to be true and my poor mum was devastated she had let me walk around on a broken leg! I'd been saying it was agony but all of us thought as I could put weight on it (albeit barely and with huge pain) it couldn't be.

Mean of the doctor to bollock you a bit, they must know it's impossible for non medical pro parents to be aware of every symptom ever.

Don't beat yourself up, you did the best you could and what you thought was right at the time.

Hope LO is ok x

Aridane · 01/12/2019 10:56

Oh bless you, OP - how frightening. I hope you and your DC are OK

Jenasaurus · 01/12/2019 10:58

Don't beat yourself up over this, its hard to recognise symptoms and you took action, your DH slept next to him the night before to keep an eye on him and you took him to the GP the following day.

I think its good you posted this on MN as it will help other parents keep an eye out for these symptoms, so you have done the right thing posting here.

I hope you and your DC get some rest now, as hospitals can be an exhausting environment for both the patient and the parents.

Jenasaurus · 01/12/2019 11:01

incidentally calling OOH doesn't always give the right response, we called OOH when my Ex DP was struggling to breathe and had pain following knee surgery, we called at 3am and our OOH was diverted to a different area, the on call doctor spoke to my Ex DP and declared it was a panic attack and wouldn't come out. He managed to get to the GP the next day and he was blue lighted to hospital, with a pulmonary embolism, again we were asked why we hadn't got there sooner

BlueJava · 01/12/2019 11:02

I think it's sometimes difficult to know how ill children are tbh and sometimes a good night's sleep is better. However without seeing how your son was I don't think anyone can give a verdict.

However, last winter I went to GP (v unusual) for a throat infection. I felt awful, was in horrible pain just to swallow, temperature). He told me he could do nothing, take some paracetamol, quite dismissive. 24 hours later I felt even worse, my ears and throat felt on fire. I went to a private GP, she gave me a prescription which cleared things up pretty rapidly and told me off for not coming to see a doctor sooner!

Justaboy · 01/12/2019 11:09

OP babies and young children can be ‘well’ whilst being unwell, they compensate then fall off the cliff v quickly

Absolutly blooming right thtat! Had that happen to DD2 some years ago ended up with her in hospital for a week with Asthma which she had devloped despite no family history!

But OP don't beat yourself up on this, sometimes wether to seek medical help is a very difficult decision.

You can see it most every week here!

Sort dammed if you do and dead if you don't;(
.

AJPTaylor · 01/12/2019 11:15

You need to rewrite this as "I got My dc to the doctor just on time and what I have learned is ....."

FoxFoxSierra · 01/12/2019 11:20

I had a similar situation when ds was a baby, I actually posted a thread on here asking if I should wait until after the weekend for a gp appointment! He was a bit pale and wheezy but ok until he was suddenly not ok and we rushed him to OOH. Lots and lots of posters told me they had done the same thing, babies go downhill very quickly and we have it drummed into us not to misuse the nhs. Don't beat yourself up, you're not a doctor and you got him help when he needed it

torfoxwell01 · 01/12/2019 14:25

Please go easy on yourself the exact ssme thing happend to me with my first , i took her to the doctors and in an ambulance she went , the doctor said to not blame myself as children can become quite ill fairly rapidly , you sort of think well dont waste the nhs resources ..., you took him which was the right thing to do so well done! Go easy on yourself - you did a good job

Onescaredmuma · 01/12/2019 15:30

OP I've not read the full thread but please stop being so hard on yourself. My DS had this and ended up on a ventilator on his 1st birthday it was horrid. He'd been in hospital a week earlier and honestly he'd looked worse then. I was decorating his and his sisters birthday cakes when the ambulance arrived. I grabbed my overnight bag after the last time the paramedic told me not to bother as he was certainly not poorly enough to stay in. Less than 12 hours later he was transfered to another hospital and in the PICU. Even the GP who sent him to the children's ward only sent him to be safe she said she thought he was fine but would rather have him checked. If medical professionals can miss the symptoms please don't judge yourself so harshly that you missed something. With this it can change so fast they can seem fine one second and then the next they're really struggling I hope your little one is getting and you can put this behind you soon.

AxeOfKindness · 01/12/2019 16:33

Different thing but I know someone whose mum told her son to sleep off what turned out to be a broken wrist - it happens and hindsight is 20/20!

All's well that ends well and I'm sure your GP will now be annoyed with you for being a hypochondriac parent!

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 01/12/2019 21:52

He's been ok today thank goodness. We've had to give him his inhaler a few times today but he's pleased to be home

OP posts:

Onescaredmuma · 02/12/2019 07:54

Glad to hear he's doing better

ChaiNashta · 03/12/2019 23:29

Thank you for starting this thread OP, I hadn't heard of this condition before and because of you I knew what to look out for. My baby is in A&E with this right now. Hope your DS makes a full recovery soon

Makinganewthinghappen · 03/12/2019 23:58

I have had the exact situation with my dc who had pneumonia . She was 5 weeks old and had cold symptoms, I left it until morning and took her to go who rushed for an ambulance. I have health anxiety - if there is a terrible conclusion to jump to I will go straight there but even I missed it.

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