To think my family are selfish and all for themselves?

[passthetea]

A local food bank that I follow on fb are having a drop off week next week and aswell as asking for food donations they are asking for new toy donations of approximately £10 for local children that won't be getting presents this year. So I started getting some toys in and popped the picture of the ad on the family whatsapp group, the only person to not ignore it was my 17 year old daughter. I left it and the next day I saw my mum and mentioned it to her and got zero response before she changed the conversation. I don't get my family they could quite easily spare £10 for a gift but instead won't. In the summer my cousins dh was doing a run in aid of his son my mum was soon to ask us all if we'd like to add to the family donation and was sure to remind us all when it was time to send the money over. I'm not going to raise this again with them because I know they all saw the poster that I posted and shared with them but I just don't understand them all. It's the last time I ask them for anything.

I regularly do a food bank shop; I also donate to a number of other charities throughout the year - I have a "budget" set aside for this.

HOWEVER I can guarantee if you asked any of my family (to whom I'm close and in regular contact) I doubt very much if any of them would be able to tell you this. I think you're being unreasonable to a) assume that they don't donate just because they don't broadcast it and b) try and make them feel bad - which by messaging and then following up in conversation might have done, even if it wasn't your intention.

Totally outrageous of you, op.

I prefer to buy items every shop and donate to the food bank bins in Waitrose / Asda etc. They have toy bins too and I have bought stuff to put in them but I would be really pissed off if I had to spend a minimum of £10 per toy when I know, having grown up poor, that most disadvantaged kids would be happy with anything to open during Christmas.

Well you know your family better than we do.

There are something like 250k charities in the uk. You can't give to them all. Most of us get regular asks from friends on fb or elsewhere to give to a cause they think worthwhile. Again most of us can't give to them all.

So you might give to a homeless charity, a local youth charity, an international charity but that doesn't mean you dont care about the dog rescue charity, the mental health charity or the child poverty charity your friend donates to we just all have limited capacity.

Christmas is a difficult time of year to be giving because most people have already got a lot of spending commitments.
It;s much easier to donate money at other times of the year.
I've usually give 'something' at Christmas, some years a kids present for a child in a women's refuge or hospital, sometimes to a food bank, sometimes to the homeless. I like to choose what that 'something' is though.